I was torn between telling Dawn that I have Leukemia or just let him know it one day. It's hard for me to swallow if I am going to tell it now. It's like, I am starting to bid my goodbye to him. I won't say goodbye because I'm not leaving. As long as I can fight this, then I will fight this no matter what it takes.
He kissed me again gently and passionately. I am sweating for some unknown reason. We miss each other so much and now, we can't stop ourselves from the warmth that we're feeling. The warmth that scorches us both.
"D-dawn, wait."
I groaned when I felt my phone vibrating. Someone is calling and I was actually about to cancel the call but the name who appeared on the screen made my heart race.
"You are still with that boy?" Dawn must know what's the reason for my sudden stop on kissing him.
"Uh yeah, but don't worry. There's nothing between me and Ethann. It's just, Dad asked him to take care of me."
I choke with my own throat when I realize what am I about to say next. No, not now Helly. Don't destroy the warmth Dawn gives to you. Stop thinking about the other things and just cherish this moment. I said that to myself through my mind.
"Hmm, I can take care of you too." He whispered to my ears. I can feel the intensity run throughout my ears and to my whole system.
"You can't."
I responded as if waking him up to our reality. The reality which the world seems against us. That me being with him is the biggest sin that I shouldn't do. The world is like forbidding us to be together but here I am. Escaping reality and going to him.
After that, I got tired from the kissing so I stepped my feet to his room and he was too. I really love collapsing myself on the bed. That's what I realize. Every time I go to bed, I always collapse my body there.
"How's Dyxxie?"
I get it, he already misses our white cat. And then, a realization hit me. I should've brought that cat with me. "I forgot to bring him here. I am actually in a rush lately." I reasoned.
He seemed to understand it because he didn't ask me more questions after that.
"Helly... I miss you.."
I was leaning on his chest when out of nowhere, he pronounced that sentence. It hit my heart so bad that it made my bucket of tears, planning on escaping from my eyes.
"I'm sorry Dawn," I said bitterly. A sorry that means a lot of things.
I was sorry about everything. Until now, I still can't believe that it was them planning to kill my Dad just because they had a thing on Bricianna Hadley. But Daddy told me, I still remember what he told me the last time. He can't afford to replace my Mom.
That he said, he vowed that he won't replace her no matter what. I knew that Dad had been true to his words because when Mom was still with us, I didn't hear any cheating issues from him. As in, nothing at all. I also knew it when I saw him stare at her with glowing eyes as if he doesn't want to get his sight off her the whole lifetime.
I am torn to believe that Daddy really became someone's affair? He isn't, right? He said that he won't replace my Mom and I was holding onto what he said. Hopefully, no one's lying to me.
"Why are you crying?" I managed to chuckle when I saw Dawn's eyes were already watering while staring down at me.
Funny. I am almost crying now too. I remember those days when we were still free to do things like this.
"I just love you so much. Despite the tragedy, I heartfelt so many emotions until I became numb to everything. But my love for you never fades. Until now that I saw you after weeks, months Helly, the feeling that I have been feeling since I first saw you went back."
I smiled and wiped the tears of overwhelmed happiness from my eyes. His love never fades then why is he bound to marry someone now? Am I that late?
"I am falling for you over and over again. My fire never stops." He chuckled and kissed me right to my ears. On his kisses, I am feeling more than home. I want to stay like this. I don't want this night to just flow.
I badly want to stay with him. My heart suddenly became heavy. I want to be healed and fight this illness. But I know, it's impossible to totally survive from this. Yes, one day there's a tendency that I will survive but I know, the cancer cells are still on my body.
"I love you, Dawn." I stopped when my voice broke. Heaven know, I want to stay in his arms for my remaining five years of breathing. "I won't stop loving you even though it will cost my life. " And then, my voice finally broke.
He kissed me again. This time, I wasn't able to kiss back since my lips are trembling. My tears continue flowing. Why is it that these things would have to happen? I just want to be with him just like normal couples. I'd rather fight with a girl who's trying to steal my boyfriend rather than fighting the hellish leukemia which will probably cost my life.
"Dawn? Uh, I want to ask something." my voice is almost stuttering. I bet he already knows what I am going to ask.
Instead of saying a response, he just buried his face on my neck. "Hmm?"
"Please answer me honestly, please Dawn, I badly want to know. "
"I was never lying to you, Helly. I won't lie now too. So what is it?"
I am feeling nervous. There's a part of me that keeps on saying that should I continue this? What if he gets mad because this moment is just for us and not for the things we're struggling with now. My heart is racing so fast and it might escape my heart anytime now.
"Did your family really pay a gunman to shoot my Dad?" I asked softly.
His face left my neck and now, he is facing me now and glaring straight into my eyes. I felt uneasy because of his stare.
"No, Helly."
I gulped and managed to look away. "But the investigation said, you paid a gunman to shoot my Dad because he is your mother's affair?"
His gaze became colder as the ice melted. "I know my mother has a lot of affairs but I don't think that Mr. Addingston is one of them. And heck, we are not planning to take someone's life. So the answer is no, Helly."
That's it. I didn't bother to ask about it again. Shannie and Yulla really went to my room after days. Good thing, there's no Ethann around so we are free to talk about a lot of things. If I am feeling bored, I always contact Dawn to wait for me in the AMC's parking lot and we are going somewhere.
I also forgot to ask him about his wedding soon. I don't care anymore if I look like an affair as long as I'm with him, I don't care anymore.
That is how my next days went. Escaping and going to him. Good thing, the treatment seems effective. I didn't feel any tiredness after all though, there are evident red spots on my skin but they are only a few. My nose bleeds sometimes too but I am already used to it.
One night of escaping, I was with Dawn again when I went to the car to pee. My phone was with me. Ethann's calling. If my guess is right, it's been a week since I last talked to him. I am still hurting from all of his words. He said he is tired of taking care of me. How much more if we'll get married right? So better marry no one.
"Ethann?" I said.
"You escaped again, right?"
I gulped. My heart is racing so fast when I realize that he knew it. I became silent after that.
"What the heck are you doing Helleon?! That man is the culprit and yet you are making yourself near to him? Are you that dumb? Also, that man is bound to marry someone else! You are making yourself like your Dad! You both became an affair!"
His words hit me hard again. "Ethann—"
"Stop. I'm here in the parking lot and if you won't come here within five minutes then I'll bury that Dawn to death!"
I was scared of his baritone and devilishly thundering voice so I never tried to respond to anything.
"Helly, where are you going?" Dawn who's trying to hug me from behind but I didn't let him.
"I need to go back, don't worry about me, okay? I will call later." I was panicking that Ethann might not be lying about burying Dawn alive.
However, before letting me go, he gave me a soft and passionate kiss and even opened the door for me. While I am running the distance from his unit to the elevator, my tears are flowing one by one.
My soul almost left my body when I spotted Ethann leaning to his car manly and his stare was making me tremble.
"Ethann!"
I was gasping for air when my knees were in pain. Maybe I got tired of running.