My mind still can't accept what's happening. Dawn is already engaged to someone who's from Suneast? Of course, that can't be me! We haven't seen each other since that day! And our last call, it was already weeks ago. So that means he already forgot me?
The thought of him falling out of love with me, I can't take it. I can't accept it. When I realize that maybe, he already found the girl that will love him more than I did. I left him so what do I expect? Of course, he will get mad at the same time disappointed and then, his hatred will lead him to fall out of love.
My knees trembled when I realized what I was thinking. He said he loves me and I think that is already enough to trust him even though we're far from each other.
I covered my mouth while my knees had finally touched the floor. I had a mental breakdown while thinking about everything. After Yulla texted me, I didn't reply. I don't know what to say.
After washing myself, I was busy wiping my tears. It was already a week ago when Yulla told me that. Every night, I can't sleep because I'm busy thinking about it. Maybe he finally found someone who's better than me. Who's matured enough unlike me.
"Dad, I promised them I'll go with them,"
I pleaded with my Dad that I want to go with Shannie and Yulla. They are planning to have night swimming later and I miss swimming. I want to go with them but Daddy wants me to just stay in the hospital.
"It's not safe there! What if the Hadleys are there? No Helly, you're not going out."
In despair, I sighed. Here it goes again. It has been days since me and my best of friends didn't see each other. I miss them so bad. I am also afraid that Yulla might get disappointed in me again once I've left them hanging again.
My daily routine was already boring. Waking up early in the morning, taking a bath and eating breakfast, drinking tons of meds to fight my illness, studying and had lunch. Taking meds again, sleeping and resting, watching movies and when the night comes, sleep again. Isn't it so boring? They didn't give me enough time to go out. The culprit has been silent now and seems like they don't have any plans on attacking my family again.
"Helly, we can't do that. Your room was bombarded with bodyguards from Mr. Timothy. " Ethann didn't agree with my idea of going out.
I went closer to him and whispered something. "Let's escape, I promise we won't get caught."
"What if we will?"
"Then punch them! That's it!"
"Helly, we can't just do that. The hospital has a lot of CCTV and once your Dad knows what we are doing, he'll be more hard on you. And you need to heal yourself, especially now that the treatment has started, you shouldn't do things that can destroy you."
Ethann sighed heavily as if it was really that hard to escape on the bodyguards. Goodness, we will just run away from them and that's it. We will escape and go to Shannie's unit. In my despair, Ethann shook his head, a sign that he is not agreeing.
"But Ethann, I promised them that I will go with them! We will go night swimming. Isn't that fun? Please, I just want to enjoy my remaining years." I plead and even do the cringe puppy eyes.
"Helly, the surroundings are still not safe. You still have years anyway. Maybe a year later, everything will be okay and you will be free." he smiled with full of hope.
My heart is full of sadness and I'm so hopeless now. They are not letting me go out. Yes, according to the doctor, I still have five years but I don't know if I will get there. I'm not that strong.
"What if I die tomorrow?"
That was supposedly a whisper but I voiced it out.
"Helly! Don't say that! Okay, fine. We will escape. Get ready. You're guilting me." His last sentence was almost a whisper but enough for me to hear it.
"Yehey! I promise I won't go away!" I screamed in happiness.
Ethann was really true to his words. Until Shannie suggested her idea that they'll just visit me in the hospital but I didn't agree with her idea. I am here because I want to see the world. If only I could memorize this. I want to see how beautiful the world is despite the scars I have.
The other days went like that. I wasn't complaining anymore that Ethann is always with me. I appreciated his efforts so much. If not because of him, then I won't be able to see the world anymore. Being alone in a four-sided room sucks like hell. It is like, always reminding me that I'm suffering. Somehow, I want to forget the thought that some cancer cells already exist throughout my body.
"Yulla, tissue!"
I shouted when one night of escaping, while we were busy talking about things, there was a sudden shedding of blood coming out from my nose. It is bleeding.
"Oh my god! Here! What's happening?" Yulla immediately went to me and guided me to the couch. Ethann was not here. He said he will just wait in the car and I will just let him there.
"Eummie! Oh no, please," Shannie's eyes were almost teary. I immediately pinch the soft part of my nose, the nostrils. This is what the doctor told me to do if my nose bleeds.
While they were busy doing what was right when the nose was bleeding, the unit's door immediately opened and Ethann who's almost panicking immediately went to me.
"Let's go back," he said coldly and glared darkly to my friends as if telling them that it was their fault.
"Yeah, It-think it would be better for you to rest there for the meantime, Helly. We'll visit you, okay?" Yulla managed to smile despite the frightening she's feeling. While Shannie on the other hand, playing with her fingers while looking down.
"I'm sorry Eummie, we will just visit you there." She said softly.
"Hmm, okay," I assured them with a smile.
Ethann please, I just want to see him.”
I am pleading to him again. It's been days since I didn't go out and see the outside. This sucks. And when I told him that I want to go to Dawn just once, I also pleaded with him not to arrest Dawn this time and make this a secret. He didn't allow me of course. They were the suspects.
He told me that he just doesn't want me to be with him again. Not now that Dawn was already engaged with someone that is not me. I still don't know who the lucky girl he is going to marry one day. I understood Ethann when he said that he just doesn't want me to become a mistress to someone who is bound to marry someone else.
I just want to see him even for the last time.
“Can't you understand? Are you that stubborn just because of that man? Goodness Helleon, you need to rest! If you want to see Dawn then let him come here!” I suddenly felt uneasy because of his baritone and heavy voice. “I granted your wants so many times, I helped you escape so you can go to your friends but now, it's too much! I'm so tired of taking care of you, tired of granting your wishes. Helly, stop that stupidity! You're tiring!”
“You know, Dawn can't visit here. Daddy would be mad and there's a lot of bodyguards here. Please Ethann…” I pleaded with him while my tears are flowing and I didn't know how to stop it.
He can't come to visit me here as after the incident in our family happened, Daddy hired men to be my bodyguards here. Their eyes should be on me and those men have large intimidating muscles. They might punch me once they caught me escaping.
“I told you Helleon Eummer, you're tiring. If you want to see that Dawn again, then it's for you to think how to escape from your bodyguards,” he said emotionlessly and walked out the room.
I brought my phone with me and walked out. I ran towards the nearest elevator while praying inside my head. I wish that my dad nor his bodyguards won't catch me now. The moment I opened my eyes, the elevator arrived on the right floor. I ran towards the exit. When I arrived at the parking lot, there I saw a familiar black mustang. It was Dawn's.
I ran towards it and he seemed to notice me. He then opened the door of the shotgun seat for me. I get in his car and he turns around to the driver's seat.
“What are you doing there? Are you feeling sick?” He grabbed my pale hands while driving the car. He kissed it softly. I fluttered because of it.
I gulped and swallowed after hearing his question. “I just visited Daddy there,” I answered a total lie while my chest was racing.
I want to tell him that I was diagnosed there because I have Leukemia but my tongue won't participate.
“With your pajamas only?” he grinned suspiciously to me.
Swallow again. “Uh, yeah. I just realized that I miss Daddy so damn much.” I replied exaggeratingly. I knotted my forehead. “Don't ask questions, Dawn, focus on driving!” I shouted but he just chuckled. Damn this man, even his laugh can make me melt.
Who the heck would wear pajamas and go to the hospital? What was that? While I am laying in my bed, out of nowhere I realized how I missed Daddy. So I decided to go to the hospital where my Dad is currently working at and didn't bother to change my clothes. The fact that I'm wearing lipstick but I am only in my pajamas! The heck is that Helly. I simply slapped my forehead when I realized how stupid my reason is.
He seemed to believe that stupid reason though, after that, he didn't ask more further questions and just drove peacefully.
When we arrived at the condominium, he immediately wrapped his arms around my waist. Yeah, he's a bit territorial. I secretly smiled because of it. When we arrived at his unit, I almost lost my breath when he suddenly grabbed my waist and cornered me at the wall.
He looked at me with his bloodshot eyes and then showered me with hot kisses. I wasn't responding to tease him but I can't help it! He placed my arms on his nape and his hands on my neck. I couldn't resist him so I half-opened my mouth to let him in.
His kisses were hungry as if he imagined that my lips were a sweet strawberry flavored candy. I tiptoed to give him easy access to my lips. We both gasped for air the moment we stopped. I got addicted to it so I tiptoed again and kissed him thoroughly.
I craved his kisses after he left mine but I never bother to voice it out because that's embarrassing. Though, my cheeks are red like a tomato now. He had such a strong impact on me.
“I miss you, Helly. Damn, I miss everything about you,” he whispered to my ears.
I bit my lower lip as I felt guilty. He doesn't have any idea that the Helly he's with now is suffering from Leukemia. I looked up to stop my tears from flowing. Damn, not now! I don't want Dawn to see me crying!
“I miss you, Dawn…” I whispered back. My voice almost cracked.
He then looked at me and kissed me gently on my forehead. I closed my eyes while feeling it. I badly wish that we can stay like this forever but I know we can't. This is the reality, not fairytales.
His eyes darted on mine again and then snake his hot arms on my waist. My love is hugging me.
I really am feeling guilty. I want to tell him about my condition as I don't want to hide anything from him when it comes to him.
However...
“Don't leave me again, I don't want to lose you in my arms again Helleon. Please stay, I love you.”