I received his greetings for my graduation the night before. I didn’t replied. I’ve exhausted all of it, I don’t think I’ll ever look at him in the eye and smile the same way. After packing my stuff, I told my parents I’m ready to go home. Heita went off a day earlier than me.
“Just call me if you’re in the city. I don’t think I’ll last a month at home anyways,” he said with a soft smile and bid her goodbyes.
She never told me her plan after college and I didn’t either. I didn’t know then that it will took us nine years to see each other again. The last time was outside our accommodation. I didn’t hear from her and I can’t reach her either.
“You probably miss your school by now, aren’t you?” Mom asked, looking back at me from the passenger seat. Dad was managing the wheels.
I shrugged “It’s too early to be nostalgic, Mom.”
She laughed and then returned in her storytelling of how her college was fun, that the moment it ended, she cried. I just sat there listening to her while my eyes are watching the greens we are passing by.
Since I had many luggage, I told them I can’t ride a bus all alone carrying all of it. They decided to fetch me in the city and I agreed since it’s a lot easier.
“Anyways, Ilio has been asking me about you. You don’t reach out to them?” Dad asked.
“I’ve been busy packing and too tired to hold my phone. I’ll see them there anyways.”
I heard Mom sighed. “Are you not okay with them? You have not talked with them ever since that happen?”
“We’re okay, Mom,” I dryly replied.
“Naro’s waiting for you,” Mom suddenly asked after a long silence. It ringed my ear. The statement she made stopped my train of thoughts. Who’s waiting for me again, Mom? It broke my heart a little hearing her said that.
I didn’t said anything.
We arrived early in the afternoon. On my tracks in the stairs bringing one luggage with me, I heard Mom talking to a familiar voice asking about me. Ilio’s excited voice made me fasten my steps until I reached my room. I then locked it.
I waited for the knock. It came after minutes of standing behind the door.
“Ilio’s here, Bien. He’s with Naro and his fiancée. They’re looking for you,” Mom said.
I don’t want to see them. I almost said it. I don’t want to be reminded of what’s not used to be anymore. Of who’s not here and who’s here. I don’t want to face the reality that Gimena’s not with us and that Naro’s getting married.
Mom knocked again and I didn’t respond. I slowly and carefully laid on my bed. The next thing I knew, I opened my eyes. Completely forgotten I’m in my childhood room for a moment. It was dark outside then I remember that Ilio’s waiting along with Naro and his fiancée. And that college has ended days ago.
Sadness loomed over me as I laid in a single size bed I used to jumped on when I was young. I closed my eyes again. It was morning the next day.
My parents did not asked me about yesterday. After breakfast I locked in my bedroom. I spent most of the morning arranging my things and making my room feel like me again. I think this room no longer knows me. The moment I went for college, it no longer has the privilege to know me.
Three in the afternoon when I decided nervously that I’ll have a stroll in the field. I brought my digital camera with me. Ten minutes in, I was already sweating hard. I wiped my nape with the back of hand. I never let my hair grew. It stayed the same length from the last time I have it cut in the coastal town of Heita and Shiloh.
I took pictures of every wild flowers I pass by. I reached the field where some people are having a picnic. There’s a car parked in a far rocky road. I sat there for a while. With this heat, it would be nice to swim in the river, I thought. I have not been there for years. I wonder what it looked like now.
I head to the river without a thought. I was almost by the big rock when I heard splashes of water and giggles. The back of a man was the first thing I saw and from a far was people swimming. It was when I stopped my track that he looked back at my way. Our eyes met and from there I recognize who it was.
He matured. I didn’t look at him that much that February. His hair was in a neat cut and he looked good. He annoyingly looked good. Naro looked surprise then a smile formed.
“Bien!” I heard Ilio’s scream from afar.
I forced a smile at Naro and walked towards him. I took a glance at his back and saw a familiar girl walking towards us, along with Ilio. This is the first time I seen her physically.
“You look good,” Naro said, making me look at him.
“You too.”
“Your hair never grew.”
“I never let it,” I smiled.
He reached for me. I let him hug me. I pat his back. It didn’t last because Ilio reached for me too.
“I miss you, Bieven! You’re not replying to me,” Ilio said as he squished me in his hug.
It felt strangely home. The corners of my eyes watered. I hugged him tighter. They introduce Leila to me even though Naro already did that New Years Eve through phone call.
She has a long straight hair and she smiled brightly. She’s in her bikini so I can see clearly her small scattered tattoos, mostly in her belly. She has a nice figure.
They invited me to swim which I declined. I didn’t have my clothes with me. I wore my bikini because at the back of my mind, I would swim here, only if they’re not here. Ilio persuaded me but I politely declined.
“Okay then. You two stay here, as always,” he said as he turned his back on me, bringing Leila along with him. “ They are always like that ever since. We often had a hard time persuading them. Aries things, scared of water.”
His voice faded with Leila’s laugh, slightly looking back at us. Oh how I wish, Ilio! I should have joined you! I thought Naro’s going to swim since he’s only wearing his shorts.