“Every child, whether planned or unplanned, is a priceless treasure and should be treated as such.”
---
— Cecile —
“So, you’re pregnant?” Bernie’s voice was calm, almost too calm. I had expected a note of surprise or even disbelief, but it was as though she had seen this coming long before I had.
“Yup,” I replied, adjusting the pillows behind me for comfort. The bed wall wasn’t doing much to support my aching back, and I suddenly felt like I needed all the comfort I could get.
“How far along are you?”
“That…I have no idea,” I admitted with a faint shrug.
Her gaze narrowed, and a sly smile crept onto her face. “But you’ve been intimate almost every day since your wedding night, right?”
I felt my cheeks grow hot, and I couldn’t hold back the embarrassed laugh that escaped me. “Seriously, Bernie? Who asks that?”
“Am I wrong, though?” she pressed, clearly enjoying my discomfort.
“Fine,” I muttered, looking anywhere but at her. “Yes.”
“Then, it’s quite possible you’re right,” she said matter-of-factly, leaning back in her chair.
“Maybe.” My voice was sluggish, my energy draining fast. I didn’t want to admit it out loud, but this whole situation had me feeling more overwhelmed than I cared to let on.
“What’s your plan now?” Bernie’s question hung in the air like a challenge, daring me to give an answer I didn’t have.
“I don’t know,” I confessed, my voice barely above a whisper. “I just feel—”
“Overwhelmed?” she interrupted gently.
I nodded, grateful for her understanding. “Yes. I had so many goals and dreams I wanted to pursue, but this…this wasn’t part of the plan.”
“You never thought you’d get pregnant?”
“Not this soon.”
“But you didn’t take any precautions, did you?” Her words stung, but they were true. The realization hit me like a cold wave. I hadn’t planned for this, yet I hadn’t done anything to prevent it either.
“No,” I admitted, shaking my head.
“Then I guess you’ve got your answer.” She paused before adding, “You should talk to Joel about this.”
“I will.”
“You better.” She hesitated, then her tone turned playful. “I still can’t believe I’m going to be a godmother soon!”
I rolled my eyes, but her words brought a faint smile to my lips. “And I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that there’s a little one growing inside me.”
“It’s normal, Bess. You’ll be fine.”
“Will I?” My voice trembled, betraying the fears I had been trying to suppress. Everyone says the early days of pregnancy are the calm before the storm, but the storm already felt like it was here.
“Yes, you will,” she said softly. Her voice was like a warm hug, wrapping me in comfort. “Don’t worry. I’ll be with you every step of the way.”
“How?” I asked skeptically. We weren’t college roommates anymore, and her life was busier than ever with her marriage and career.
“I’ll be your best friend and personal therapist,” she said with a grin.
“And how will you find the time for that?” Tears welled up in my eyes, and my voice cracked.
“I will, Bess. We make time for the people we care about, and you’re one of my top priorities.”
“What would I do without you, Bernie?”
“Well, you’ll never have to find out because I’m not going anywhere.”
“Always and forever, besties,” I said, laughing through my tears.
“Always.”
---
“So…your bestie is more important than me, huh?”
I hadn’t even realized Joel was standing there until he spoke.
His pout made him look like a child, and I couldn’t help but chuckle as I reached out to pinch his cheeks. “You know you’re my favorite person in the world, right?”
“What about your bestie?” he teased, his tone dripping with mock jealousy.
“She’s my second favorite,” I said with a coaxing smile.
“Okay, then.” He eased into a grin and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close.
“Wanna talk about it?” His voice was gentle, unhurried, giving me all the time I needed.
I nodded, and he waited patiently.
“I never thought I’d get pregnant this soon,” I began, my voice shaky. “I had so many plans…a master’s degree, a career. But now…”
“Now, everything feels uncertain?” he finished for me.
I nodded again, tears streaming down my cheeks. “Did you ever expect this?”
“In a way, yes,” he said simply. “You never mentioned not wanting kids soon, so I just assumed we were okay with it.” His honesty was disarming, and I found myself feeling super guilty.
“I wrote another poem earlier. Should I recite it for you?” Joel’s voice was soft, filled with a tender care that I’d grown to love. I nodded, unable to speak. As poets, the best way we’d learned to pour our hearts out was through writing. Words had a way of reaching where reassurance couldn’t. And right now, nothing could soothe the storm within me except something raw, honest, and tangible—like poetry.
“Dad,
Does Mom not really
Want me?”
Our little one asked
Me last night,
While you were asleep,
And we were having our
Daddy-son bonding.”
The first stanza alone had me choking back tears. Joel was already calling our unborn child a person—a son. How could he sound so sure? How could he see joy when all I felt was fear?
“No,
That’s not it,
Son.
She does want you.
She just feels a bit
Overwhelmed right now,
As she dreads the
Coming days
And the shattering
Of her plans.”
“Oh...
But am I not meant
To be a priority?
I am a part of her.
Of you, too...
A symbol of your
Undying love.
Isn’t that enough
For her?”
“You don’t understand,
Son.
Your mom is ambitious,
A goal setter,
A dream chaser.
When things don’t go
The way she planned,
It’s easy to feel
Lost and scared.”
“Okay, Dad.
But do tell Mom
That I love her already
And can’t wait
To meet her.
Also remind her
That the world
Lights up when
She smiles,
And when she laughs?
The sky bursts
With shining stars.”
“Okay, Son.
I will.”
“I love you too,
Dad,
And I can’t wait
To meet you.”
“Same here, Son.”
The tears came then, uncontrollable waves I couldn’t hold back. Joel didn’t rush me. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me as I let everything out.
“I’m sorry for being so selfish,” I hiccuped, staring into his eyes—so full of love, so steady.
“You’re not selfish, Joli,” he said gently, wiping my tears with his thumb. He kissed both my eyes, his lips warm and soft. “You had plans. This wasn’t one of them. And that’s okay.”
I nodded, trying to absorb his words.
“It’s okay to feel scared, overwhelmed, even lost. But you’ll rise above it, I know you will—because our son needs you.”
His words wrapped around me like a warm blanket. I clung to him tighter, letting his strength anchor me.
“How do you know it’s a boy?” I asked, curiosity cutting through the haze of my emotions.
“I just know.” Joel smiled, his hand brushing through my hair. “A boy who will protect his mama when I’m not around.”
I couldn’t help but laugh softly through my tears. “Yes.”
“You’ll be fine, Joli. You’re going to be the best mom ever.”
“You believe in me so much, Joel...” I whispered, my voice thick with emotion.
“More than you could ever imagine,” he replied, his certainty unshakable.
I rested my head on his shoulder, letting his heartbeat calm me. “Thank you for understanding. I love you, Joel.”
“I love you more, Joli. Thank you for this priceless gift.”
The tears came again, but this time they were warm, healing tears. I held on to him, feeling safe, loved, and a little less afraid.
“Looks like the pregnancy hormones are already kicking in,” Joel teased, and I couldn’t help but laugh again, nodding in agreement.
---
A/N: What do you think of the chapter, guys?