The next morning was again and again still the same like the previous days. I watched a good movie on Netflix after having my breakfast then decided to take a shower. Naisipan ko kasing magsimba, may nakita akong simbahan malapit lang sa labas ng village.
I just wore a white long sleeve polo blouse with a ribbon on my waistline paired with a black jeans and white heels. I also wore the silver necklace of my lola which has a locket pendant with a picture of me and my parents. I paired it with a silver wrist watch and chose to wear my white pearl earrings.
I started walking my way out after locking the door and the gate. Lalakarin ko na lang, malapit lang naman e. I passed by the guard of the village so I told them that I'll be gone for an hour or two. I reminded them not to let anyone come for me. I still had a few minutes before the 3 o'clock mass so I walked like I was in a park. I saw a milk tea shop on the other side of the road so I decided to go there after the mass.
The place have no difference from Taguig, only that it is colder here. Nakarating na rin ako kaagad sa simbahan at nakahanap ng upuan. Karamihan sa mga tao ay mga bata at yung iba ay kasama ang mga magulang.
I suddenly felt envious.. I never experienced that. Sila Lolo at Lola ang kasama ko palagi magsimba dati.
Itinigil ko na din naman agad ang pag-iisip dahil tumunog na yung bell. The mass started at exactly 3 PM. I stayed attentive to the mass. After having the communion, the mass has ended just after a few minutes. Little by little, the crowd started disseminating.
I was already outside of the church when I saw a kid selling Sampaguita. I think he's just 8 years old. He went to me when he noticed that I was watching him from a distance.
"Hello Miss Ganda! Bili na po kayo ng Sampaguita!" He told me. Malaki ang kanyang ngiti, it was pure and innocent.
"Sige, magkano 'yan?" Ngumiti din ako sa kanya.
"Bente po ang isa, Miss Ganda!" His smile became wider, maybe because he saw me smiling back at him.
"Okay sige, bibilhin ko na iyan lahat." I tapped his head a little then bent down so that I can see his face.
Excited siyang ngumiti at nagtatatalon pa sa tuwa. I gave him a 500-peso bill kahit pa hindi pa niya sinasabi kung magkano. His smile became even much wider, it was like his first time holding a bill like that. He gave me the Sampaguitas before speaking.
"Salamat po, Miss Ganda, ha! Para ka pong angel!" Sabi niya habang nakatingin pa sa mukha ko.
Naaliw kong ginulo ang buhok niya bago ko siya sinenyasan na umuwi na. I looked at the Sampaguitas I am holding, wondering where I should put them. Naglakad na ako pauwi pero tumawid muna para pumunta doon sa milk tea shop. When I entered the shop, there are only few people inside but the setting is cozy and chill. I liked it.
"Good afternoon po Ma'am. Welcome to Qualitea! Can I get your order?" The lady on the counter asked while still looking at me with a smile, I smiled back.
"I'd like to have Oreo Cookies and Cream Milk Tea, please. 50% sugar level and add pearls, too." I completed my order, that was my usual order from every shop.
She happily nodded before writing my order on a sticky note with my name on it. I gave her my payment when she mentioned it. Kinlaro niya muna yung order ko bago siya nagsimulang gumawa. I was just waiting in front of the claiming area from the counter.
"Good afternoon, Sir Dylan! Welcome to Qualitea!" A guy from the counter happily greeted someone when the door opened.
I followed his gaze and saw a man walking towards the counter. He's wearing a white sweater with black jeans and white shoes. He had this silver chain necklace and wrist watch that made his overall look even more perfect.
Napaka-pogi! Di makatarungan!
"Good afternoon, the usual." He smiled at the guy on the counter since the girl was doing my order. The guy immediately nodded and did his order like it was already cleared to him. He didn't even ask Dylan to clarify his order. And "the usual" is like an order that he has already memorized.
"Oh.. Katherine." He called when he lined up next to me while waiting for his order.
"Hey.. Dylan." I greeted back. Muntik ko na siya matawag na Mr. Dela Vega pero buti ay napigilan ko, hindi niya nga pala alam, at hindi pa niya pwedeng malaman kaagad, na ako ang magiging tour guide niya.
"Did you order already?" He asked when he was already standing next to me. I gave him a small smile when I nodded at him, he just did the same thing.
"Okay, then." He said before looking away. He roamed his eyes around the shop. I fought the urge to tell him about the "babe" incident but stopped myself when I heard Barbie's voice nagging me about it.
"One order of Oreo Cookies and Cream Milk Tea for Ms. Katherine!" The girl said while giving me my order and some tissue papers.
I got a plastic straw from their piles and tried to put it on my drink but it couldn't open, umapaw na tuloy at tumulo na 'yung milk tea nang konti.
"Do you need help?" Dylan asked when he probably noticed that I was having a hard time putting the straw in.
"Yes, please." I gave him a sad smile which made him chuckle before he got my drink from my hand. He easily put the straw in it then gave it back to me.
"Thanks." I smiled before sipping on my milk tea. He just gave me a small smile before turning his gaze on the counter because the guy was already calling him.
"The usual for Sir Dylan!" He said before giving Dylan his order and some tissue papers, too. He smiled before nodding at the guy then attaching the straw on his drink easily. He sipped on it before looking at me.
"Pauwi ka na rin ba, Katherine?" Tanong niya bago humigop ulit sa kanyang milk tea. He's cute, he looks like a kid who's enjoying his drink.
"Yes." Tumango ako kaya ganon rin siya. He gestured the way out and let me walk first before saying goodbye to the people from the counter.
We walked side to side, he positioned himself on my right where the cars were approaching. We were sipping on our drinks while walking. Napansin ko ring matchy ang color ng suot namin, we probably looked like we're dating.
"You went to Church?" He asked out of the blue when he noticed me holding a lot of Sampaguitas. I playfully nodded before raising my arm to let him smell the flowers. He sniffed on it a little after staring for a few seconds.
"Ang bango 'no." I smelled it, too.
Naalala ko tuloy 'yung mga Linggo na nagsisimba kami, kasama ko sina Lolo at Lola, tapos bibili kami ng Sampaguita bago kami umuwi. Ilalagay ni Lola 'yun sa altar namin sa bahay, isasabit niya sa Poon. Minsan, nilalagyan niya rin 'yung pictures nila Mommy at Daddy. Nakakamiss..
"Are you okay?" He tried to catch my eyes with his when I zoned out for a few seconds.
"Yes, yes, of course." I gave him a reassuring smile. He just nodded then smiled back before sipping on his milk tea again. We were already at the gate of the village when he said something again. I knew he would say it.
"Oh, right. I'm sorry about-" he was cut off from speaking when someone called me.
"Kath." I heard a man's voice so I looked in front of me only to see an unexpected man.
"Christian?" It came out as a question. I looked at him with furrowed brows, still a little shocked because he knew my new place. I never told him that. I never told anyone except Barbie, and she will never do this to me. Saan niya nalaman?
"Let's talk please." He said to me, not giving Dylan a single glance. I was about to say something to Dylan but Christian walked towards me and tried to hold my hands but failed to do so.
"Mauna na ako." Dylan nodded in front of him without even looking at me. Nilagpasan niya si Christian nang hindi ito nililingon. Pinanood ko siyang umalis hanggang sa mawala na siya sa paningin ko at nalungkot nang konti nang hindi siya lumingon pabalik.
"What is it this time, Christian?" I asked, a little annoyed. His eyes were almost begging when I looked at him.
"Finally, I found you. I miss you, Kath." He tried to hold my hand again but still failed.
"Ano bang ginagawa mo rito?" Tanong ko sa kanya, napaatras pa siya nang konti dahil may bahid ng inis ang boses ko.
"I searched for you because I've been dying to hear your answer to me, Kath." Again, he tried to hold my hand but still failed for the third time.
"I already told you my answer Christian. It is a no and it will always be a no. I only see you as a friend so stop this shit already." I passed by him, ready to leave but he held my arm.
"Kath no.. that's not your real answer, please.. If this is about Andrea, I don't like her, Kath. I like only you. Please.. I've been courting you for one year, don't I deserve a single chance?" He pleaded, the corner of his eyes were already teary.
"This isn't about Andrea, Chris. This is about me. Kahit anong gawin ko, or gawin mo, hindi talaga ako nagkaroon ng feelings sa'yo, eh. You're actually starting to creep me out. You're starting to scare me. I don't want to lose the tiny amount of friendship I have for you because of that, because of this. So please, please stop this already." I pulled away my arm from him but he held my hand tightly.
"I'll do anything you want please, just say it. I don't want anyone else but you Kath. Please.. I will do everything.." he was already crying. I felt it when he put his cheeks at the back of my hand while he was still holding it.
"Christian, ayokong paasahin ka. I don't want to ruin our friendship. I don't want to hurt you too much so please.. stop this already. I'm starting to be scared of you. Don't make me call the guards please.." I was already pulling my hand from him but he wouldn't let go.
Suddenly, he kissed the back of my hand then looked at me with pleading eyes before letting go of my hand. His eyes turned a little red because he kept on crying.
"I'm so sorry, Kath.. if I am scaring you. I promise I will be better, I promise I'll be good. Just please give me a chance." He was about to kneel in front of me when I held both of his arms to stop him.
"Just forget about me, Chris. That's all I wish for. You have to move on from me because I am already moving on from my life back there. You deserve someone better than me, Chris." I told him. I supported his weight until he could finally stand up again.
"I don't think I can do that, Katherine." He gave me a sad smile before slowly walking back to his car.
I was still stunned by my position even after he left. Kuya Guard approached me asking if I was okay because I had been spacing out for a few minutes without moving. I walked until I reached my house. I let out a heavy sigh after sitting on my couch in the living room. I felt horrible for turning down Christian for the nth time.
Manliligaw ko na siya mula nang maging magkaibigan kami sa BGC. Hindi naging mahirap sa akin ang maging ka-close siya dahil naging schoolmate ko siya noon sa high school. Akala ko kaibigan lang rin ang tingin niya sa akin, dahil ganon lang rin ako sa kanya, pero hindi pala. Umamin siya sa akin 'nung nag-birthday ako last last year, I think? Hindi pa ako handa sa relationships 'non dahil kakawala pa lang nila Lola at Lola kaya sabi ko ay maging magkaibigan na lang kami. Pumayag naman siya, sabi niya ay hihintayin na lang daw niya ako.
Last year, after my birthday, tinanong niya ulit ako kung pwede na. Sinabi kong hanggang kaibigan lang talaga ang kaya kong ibigay pero nanligaw pa rin siya. Binigyan niya ako ng mga bulaklak, chocolates, stuffed toys, at dinala rin ako sa mga fancy restaurants pero wala pa ring nagbago sa akin, kaibigan pa rin talaga ang tingin ko sa kanya. Sinabi ko rin sa kanya 'yun nang deretsahan dahil ayokong paasahin siya pero hindi niya pinansin. Ang sabi niya, pagod lang raw ako sa trabaho kaya ko nasabi 'yon. Ilang beses akong nagpakatotoo sa kanya tungkol sa feelings ko pero pursigido talaga siya. Nakaka-guilty na mang-reject nang paulit-ulit pero mas nakaka-guilty kung sasagutin ko siya dahil lang naaawa ako, hindi niya deserve 'yun.
Mabait naman siya, sweet, masayang kasama, pero hindi ko nakita sa kanya 'yung mga katangian ng Daddy ko. Ayun kasi ang hinahanap ko sa lalaki. Pinapahalagahan 'yung pamilya, may takot sa Diyos, maraming ambisyon sa buhay, marunong umunawa sa nararamdaman ng iba, at higit sa lahat, hindi nananakit ng babae. Sa una pa lang, nakita ko na kung paano niya pinagsalitaan si Andrea, best friend ko rin, na hindi niya ito gusto, kaya hindi ko na rin siya nagustuhan.
Bago ako lumipat sa Cavite, kinausap ko siya. Sinabi kong tumigil na sa panliligaw sa akin dahil wala talagang nagbabago, hanggang kaibigan lang talaga ang kaya ko, at ayokong mawala pa 'yun dahil sa pamimilit niya. And besides, Andrea likes him so much she even risked our friendship, I don't want to do the same thing to her.
I thought he had given up on me already but this had to happen. Dylan even saw him with me. I don't know why but I was wondering what his reaction could be and what he is thinking about right now.
Pero bakit naman siya mag-iisip tungkol sa amin, diba? Wala nga yata siyang pake, bigla na lang siyang umalis.