Ito na po ang wakas. Sa wakas natapos ko rin! Maraming maraming salamat po sa nagbasa at magbabasa palang po nitong kauna unahan kong story. Alam ko pong hindi ako ganon kagaling magsulat at pasensya na po sa mga hindi magagandang scene. Pero gagawin ko po ang lahat para mag-improve. Again, salamat po sa lahat! Sana po patuloy pa rin nating suportahan sina Joshua at Amora. Maraming salamat po!
Wakas
--
"Hanna!" I screamed.
Nagmamadaling pumunta ang kasambahay ko sa kusina. Tumatakbo sya at halata ang takot sa mukha. Namumutla pa sya nang humarap sa akin.
"S-Sir?" Kabado at takot nyang tanong.
"Where's my food? Bakit walang pagkain rito?" Seryoso kong tanong na mas lalong nagpamutla sa kanya.
Tumingin sya sa lamesa at natatarantang kumilos.
"P-Pasensya na po, Sir. Hindi ko po kasi alam ang... iluluto ko sainyo. P-Pasensya na po," at mabilis na kumuha ng itlog at bacon sa ref, halos mahulog pa ang itlog sa pagmamadali.
I sighed in annoyance. I just woke up and there's no food served here? Kabago bago, puro palpak ang ginagawa. I really don't want to have a maid. But I could do nothing because that was what Dad wanted. And now that I have a maid, Mommy probably ordered that Jana and Klara no longer have to serve me. This new maid will do everything for me from now on.
Pero maid ba talaga ang tawag rito? Personal maid? Hindi manlang ako pinagluluto umagang umaga? Kagigising ko at gutom ako. Paghihintayin nya pa ako rito? Tsk.
I came out of the kitchen irritated. I went back to my room and just opened my notes. Sumasakit ang ulo ko sa inis at sa gutom na rin. Kung pwede lang sana akong tumanggi rito ginawa ko na. Bakit kasi kailangan ko pa ng bantay? Hindi naman ako ganon kabasagulero. Tsk.
But if I can't ask Daddy, I'll just find a way to get rid of that stupid maid. I smirked.
Palagi kong inuutusan si Hanna. Kahit gawain nina Jana at Klara, sa kanya ko pinagawa. I know she's studying and it may be bothering her studies but I don't care. I want her to leave here. I don't want to have a maid. I don't need it.
Kaya kalaunan, umalis si Hanna dahil hindi na nakayanan ang ugali ko. I was very happy. Daddy scolded me but he could do nothing. He closed his eyes firmly and didn't continue his sermons.
"Why did you do that to her? It's just a maid, Joshua! And do you not feel sorry for the girl? She needs money and she needs a job. Hindi mo manlang inisip yon!"
"I don't need a maid, Dad," I said, ignoring his other words.
Pumikit ulit sya ng mariin. "No. You need a maid. Sasabihin ko sa Mommy mo na ikuha ka ulit."
I was a little annoyed there but I thought I could torture whoever Mommy can get again so she can leave immediately like Hanna. It's embarrassing to have a maid at this age. My friends are laughing at me. Especially Zil. Tss.
Kunot noo kong pinagmasdan ang babaeng naghahalungkat sa ref, akala mo magnanakaw dahil tahimik na tahimik ang galaw nya. Maliit pa yung pagkakabukas ng ref kaya aakalain mo talagang nagnanakaw sya.
I looked at her from head to toe. Naka maong shorts sya na hanggang taas ng tuhod ang haba at white t-shirt. May suot syang tsinelas at nakalugay ang hanggang baywang na buhok. I can't really see what she looks like because she's turning her back on me and still looks like a thief looking in the refrigerator.
Pero kung magnanakaw sya, bakit sa ref sya naghahanap? Wala namang pera sa ref. Tss.
"Who are you?"
Napatalon sa gulat ang babae at napatingin sa gawi ko. The first thing that came to my mind when I saw her face was that she was beautiful. But I immediately ignored that and looked at her seriously.
"Uh... hi! Ako si Amora. Y-Yung bagong maid rito..." she said, bahagyang nautal sa gulat sa akin.
Amora. I don't know what is in her name but I felt something strange. I just ignored that.
Nagplano agad ako na mapa alis sya sa araw ring iyon. I tortured her at the mall and also tortured her by bringing snacks to my room. Whenever I see the annoyance on her face, hindi ko alam kung bakit natutuwa ako. Basta ang alam ko, natutuwa akong naiinis sya. Siguro dahil paniguradong aalis na sya agad dahil naiinis na sya sa ugali ko.
"You cooked all of this?" Tanong ko.
I was a little shocked because Amora, my new personal maid, cooked my breakfast. I didn't expect it. I smirked. Naisip kong hindi sya katulad nung dati kong maid. This one is pretty responsible. But I still couldn't change my mind. I still want her to leave.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit tawang tawa ako noong napatid sya sa nilagay kong tali sa may pinto. She was very irritated with me but couldn't answer or shout because I'm her boss. Hanggang gabi hindi mawala sa isip ko ang lakas ng kalabog ng pagkakabagsak nya kanina. Natatawa pa rin ako.
"Naku! Yan! Dapat dinidiligan kayo ng madalas para mas lalo pa kayong lumaki! Kailangan nyong magpaka lusog dahil kailangan na kailangan kayo ng mga tao! Kapag namatay kayo, mawawalan kami ng oxygen!"
I chuckled. Nilagay ko ang aking dalawang kamay sa baywang habang may ngisi pa sa labi. Kanina ko pa pinapanood si Amora na nagdidilig at kinakausap ang mga puno at halaman. Akala ko nung una nababaliw na sya. But I realized that maybe she always does this to enjoy herself in what she does.
"Alam nyo ba, yung mga halaman namin sa bahay? Nalanta at namatay lahat! Hindi dahil hindi ko inaalagaan! Kundi dahil sa mga batang loko loko na wala yatang magawa sa buhay! Aba! Sinipa ba naman yung mga halaman namin habang tulog kami! Nagising nalang kami puro basag na yung mga paso namin! Sira na lahat! Mga lokong bata yon..."
Lumipat sya sa isang halaman at tinapik pa ito na para bang isang bata yon.
"Pero hindi na namin pinakialamanan ni Mama. Mga bata lang naman yun, eh. Tsaka pinagalitan na rin sila ng mga magulang nila at ayos na sa amin yon ni Mama. Nagsorry pa nga, eh," she laughed.
I tilted my head and stared at her for a moment. Ang layo ko sa kanya pero dinig na dinig ko ang napaka lakas nyang boses. Ang bait bait nya rin sa iba, pati sa mga halaman, pero bakit sakin napaka sungit nya? I chuckled. Siraulo ka kasi, Joshua. Nagtanong ka pa.
I shook my head while the smile was on my lips. Tumalikod ako at pumasok na sa loob. Damn. This is my first smile this morning.
I often see her talking to plants. O siguro madalas ko syang nakikitang ganon ay dahil simula nung narinig ko syang kinakausap ang mga halaman na yon, palagi na akong pumupunta sa likod ng bahay tuwing umaga para lang abangan ang pagkausap nya sa mga puno.
I'm always smiling. I don't know why it's so funny to watch her talking to our plants. Hindi ko alam kung matutuwa rin ba ako kapag ibang babae ang makikita kong kumakausap sa mga puno. Pero sa tingin ko hindi. Siguro iisipin ko na baliw sila.
I don't know when it started. But I just found myself in bed, leaning on the headboard and thinking about Amora. I think of her smile when she's with Klara but irritated when I'm with her.
I didn't even realize I'm already smiling. I look like a fool. At first I still ignored and didn't think about the strange feeling for her but later, I realized that something is really strange.
I started to worry about her, I started to be jealous, I started to be afraid of torturing her because she might get hurt. I don't know when it started. Ganon nalang bigla.
She's different from the women I met. She's different from Hanna, she's different from Ella, she's different from everyone. Inaalagaan nya ako kahit puro pahirap ang ginagawa ko sa kanya. Alam kong dahil lang sa pera kaya sya nanatili, kailangan nila ng pera kaya sya nagtitiis sa akin. At mas lalo pa akong humanga sa kanya roon.
She can do everything for her family. Kahit sobrang mahirapan na sya, itutuloy nya pa rin para lang hindi na mahirapan ang Mama nya.
I have never been like this to a woman. So when I felt it all, everything was new to me, hindi na ako nakawala pa sa nararamdaman ko. I fell even more especially when I gradually got to know her.
She's a talkative person. Always positive. Despite the many problems she goes through, she still manages to smile. And because of that, I started to feel more for her. I started to adore her more, to like her... to love her.
Whenever she's smiling and happy, I'm smiling too. Kapag naman galit sya, iritado at naiinis, napapangiti pa rin ako. I don't know. I just know that I love all her expressions and her personality. I love all of her. I love her.
It's funny, right? Pinlano ko na pahihirapan ko sya para umalis sya agad. Pero ako rin ang nahulog sa sarili kong patibog. Now, I don't want her to leave anymore. I want her to stay. With me. Medyo hindi ako naging masaya sa pamilya ko dahil palagi silang walang oras sa akin. Kaya kahit si Amora lang ang dito sa tabi ko, ayos na.
"A-Ayoko na, Joshua..." she said as she cried.
When I heard that from her, I didn't want to believe. My world stopped for a moment. At nang makabawi, parang ayoko nang marinig pa ang mga sasabihin nya. Dahil parang alam ko na kung saan iyon papunta.
"Please don't do this, Amora..." I begged.
"Ayoko na sayo, Joshua! Itigil na natin ito!" She screamed.
Isa pa yon sa mas lalong nagpaguho sa mundo ko. At least once, I never imagined myself being hurt like this. It seems like my world is slowly stopping.
"A-Ayaw mo na sa akin?" Kahit pilitin kong ayusin, nanginig pa rin ang boses ko.
"Tama na, Joshua," anya at tumalikod.
I immediately hugged her to stop her. I hugged her tightly for fear that she would leave me forever. I buried my face in her shoulder and hugged her tightly, didn't want to let her go. Dahil natatakot akong sa oras na pakawalan ko sya, hinding hindi ko na sya mahahawakan pa, tuluyan na syang mawawala sa paningin ko.
Hindi ko alam kung anong nangyayari pero may hula na ako. Ang saya saya lang namin kanina ni Zil. Hindi ko akalaing ganito ang bubungad sa akin pagkauwi ko. Ang saya saya lang rin namin kahapon. Kaya bakit biglang nagkaganito?
"Please don't do this. Don't leave me, please... baby..." I begged.
If I have to kneel, I will do it just so she doesn't leave. I'm willing to kneel and beg just so she wouldn't leave me. I will do that if she wants.
But my world really seemed to collapse when she said these words to me. Words I never thought I would hear. At sa taong mahal na mahal ko pa mismo.
"H-Hindi na kita mahal, Joshua..."
She was looking at me when she said that. So I was even more hurt. She doesn't love me anymore. So who am I to insist on what I want even though I know it's not possible anymore and it's already wrong? This is the only love I know of. The one who will let go because the person you love is no longer happy with you. So who am I to stop her from leaving? If she doesn't love me anymore, I'm ready to let her go. Kahit ikakadurog ko pa yon ng sobra.
"If that's what you want. M-Makakalaya ka na..." I never thought I would say that to the woman I love so much. But what can I do? She said she doesn't love me anymore...
Dahan dahan syang umatras at tumalikod na para makalayo. Pinanood ko syang lumayo sa akin, nanlalabo ang mga mata sa luha. It's hurts to see her not just only walking away, but running away from me. I love her and I don't want to let her go. But I can't force her into a relationship where she's not happy anymore.
That's all I know about love...
Galit na galit ako nang bumaba sa hagdanan. Nabunggo ko pa ang maliit na table kung saan may vase na nakalagay kaya nabasag iyon. Jana screamed in shock and fear but I continued walking to the kitchen. Nang narinig kong nandito si lolo, hindi na ako nagdalawang isip pang sumugod rito.
Alam kong may kinalaman sya sa lahat ng ito.
"Joshua," kunot noong lumabas si Daddy sa kusina, narinig ang nabasag na vase at sigaw ni Jana.
I ignored him and kept walking into the kitchen. I saw Mommy's eyes widening, standing as if she was about to go outside but when she saw me she stopped. While my grandfather was comfortable and just sitting quietly in the middle, he didn't even care what was going on outside.
Gigil akong lumapit sa tabi nya. Ginagawa ko ang lahat para mapigilan ang sarili sa mga gustong gawin. Kahit galit na galit ako, mahinahon ko pa rin syang kinausap pero hindi nakatakas ang riin sa boses ko.
"What did you say to Amora?" Tanong ko.
Nag angat sya ng tingin sa akin. Lumapit naman si Mommy sa akin at hinawakan ako sa braso. She called me softly but I ignored her. Nothing can stop me now.
Lolo just sighed. Binaba nya ang tingin pero tumigil na sa pagkain. Hindi ako sinagot. Mas lalo akong nagalit.
"Ano? Ginawa nyo rin kay Amora yung ginawa nyo kay Daddy? Sa dati nyang karelasyon noon?"
"Joshua," pinigilan na rin ako ni Dad pero wala akong pakikinggan ngayon.
"Pinalayo nyo rin? Binigyan ng pera? Tinakot? Ganon ba?!"
"Joshua! Please..." pakiusap ni Mommy, naiiyak na.
I gritted my teeth. Tumigil ako dahil kay Mommy pero na kay lolo pa rin ang paningin ko. Mabilis ang paghinga ko sa matinding galit.
"She agreed--"
"Kung ganon sinuhulan nyo nga?!"
Tinignan nya na ako at tumayo na rin. Agad pumagitna si Daddy pero sumenyas si lolo na ayos lang kaya tumabi nalang sya kay lolo, bahagya pa ring pinipigilan, nakahawak sa braso.
"Joshua, she agreed and--"
"Why did you do that? What right do you have to interfere with the two of us?!"
"Joshua!" Mariing bawal ni Daddy dahil talagang tumaas na ang boses ko.
"She agreed, Joshua. It just means that she doesn't really love you. She chose the money over you," matigas na sinabi ni lolo, matalim na ang tingin sa akin.
"Hindi nyo pa rin dapat ginawa yon! Wala kayong karapatang pumagitna sa relasyon naming dalawa!" Sigaw ko kahit nasaktan sa sinabi nya.
She chose the money... over me?
"Don't be blind, Joshua. It's abvious that she doesn't love you that's why I did that. And see? She chose the money! Pera lang ang habol ng babaeng yon sayo!"
I didn't speak. I don't believe him. I know Amora. She can never do that. There must be another reason why she left. Lolo must have done something else.
"Gusto mo talagang malaman? Sige! Sasabihin ko sayo!" Sigaw nya. "Marami kaming utang! Lahat ng yon binayaran namin, Joshua! Lalo na ang mga utang ni Papa na iniwan nya sa amin na halos milyon ang halaga! Kaya naubos at kinailangan ko ulit magtrabaho! Ano? Ayos ka na? Ayos na ba? Umalis ka na!"
When she said that, I lost my grip. Her reasons are very convincing. Kahit anong paniniwala ko na hindi nya pinili ang pera, sa mga dahilan nya ngayon, nagmumukha lang akong tanga. Hindi ko na alam ang iisipin ko sa mga oras na yon.
I went back to the coffee shop but she avoided me. Nang nakita ko ang pagod at hirap sa mukha nya, hindi ko na natiis at nilapitan at kinausap na sya. Kaya lang pina alis nya ulit ako. Para bang diring diri sya sa akin. At sa bawat salitang lumalabas sa bibig nya, nasasaktan ako. Gusto kong mapagod pero mas gusto kong umasa at maghintay na baka pwede pa. Kung hindi nya na ako mahal, liligawan ko sya ngayon at sisiguraduhin kong magugustuhan nya ulit ako.
Pero pina alis nya ako. Kahit anong pagmamaka awa ko, tinaboy nya pa rin ako. Naisip ko na baka nga ayaw nya na at naiinis na sya sa akin kaya lumayo ako kagaya ng gusto nya. Lumayo ako kahit labag sa loob ko. Pero alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi ko sya kayang tiisin.
"Once you deny it, I will find Amora and torture her," lolo said.
I gritted my teeth. "Do you really need to go this far?"
"Kung kinakailangan, bakit hindi?"
Hindi ako nakasagot. I got even angrier. Gusto ko syang sigawan at sagutin. Pero kahit anong mangyari, lolo ko pa rin sya. Kailangan ko syang galangin at respetuhin. Hindi nga lang noon mababago ang matinding galit ko sa kanya.
"This is not difficult, Joshua. When you are asked, you just have to say yes. Wag na wag mong ide-deny," mariin nyang sinabi.
Pumikit ako. I'm just starting to sing so I don't have much money yet. Hindi pa ako makawala sa puder nila. Kaya wala akong magawa ngayong sinasabi ito ni lolo. I feel like a stupid boy, like a fool. Sunod sunuran. Kinuyom ko ang kamao ko.
He put both his hands on his table. I'm here in his office because he called me. I didn't expect him to say this to me.
"You will marry Daniella--"
"I will not," mariin kong putol.
"By the time you answer that in the media, you already know what will happen to Amora," laban nya.
Hindi na naman ako nakapag salita. Pinapangako kong sa oras na magkaroon ako ng sapat na pera, aalis agad ako sa puder nila. I will leave and will never return to this mansion.
He knows Amora is my only weakness that's why he's using her against me. Hindi ako makapaniwala. I gritted my teeth again.
"Yes," I didn't want to say that to the media. Pero wala akong magawa dahil iniisip ko ang kalagayan ni Amora. I feel so... stupid!
"Did you really agreed? You'll marry me finally?" Masayang sinabi ni Ella nang nasa sasakyan na kami pauwi.
Nakahalukipkip lang ako habang nakatingin sa bintana. Hindi ko sya kinakausap kanina pa. Kahit sa party. I don't think I should talk to her anyway.
"I'm not," I said it directly because it really isn't. I will never marry a woman I don't love.
Nawala ang ngiti nya. Halata ang pagkakatigil nya pero ngumiti pa rin sya.
"B-But you said yes?" Umaasa nyang sinabi.
"Just because I said yes doesn't mean I will do it," I said coldly.
I know how she feels for me and I don't want to hurt her but I know I have to tell her the truth. I don't want her to hope on me because I will never be able to like her.
"You know who's the woman I love," I said.
She was stunned, not expecting me to be so straightforward to her. Nilingon ko ulit ang labas at nagtiim bagang. Hindi ko na ulit sya kinausap. Hindi na rin naman sya nagsalita.
Kapag pumapasok ako, walang pumapasok sa utak ko. Wala ako halos matutunan. Madali na rin akong magalit sa mga babaeng kumakausap sa akin lalo na kay Ella. I also can't sleep at night. Nahihirapan dahil alam kong kinabukasan, hindi ko ulit makikita si Amora.
Kaya ilang araw ang nakalipas, bumalik ulit ako sa coffee shop. Hindi naman ako magpapakita. Hindi ko sya lalapitan. I just really want to see her. Kahit iyon lang, sapat na.
Pero ganon nalang ang takot at pag aalala ko nang hindi ko sya makita. Ilang gabi akong bumalik pero wala sya roon. Kahit sa bahay nila, wala sya. Kahit sa school. Kung saan saan ko sya hinanap pero wala sya. Hindi ko sya makita!
"Please... tell me where she is..." sabi ko kay Candy, Amora's friend here.
She sighed. She's tired of me repeatedly coming back here and begging her to tell me where Amora is. But I don't care. I will come back here again and again. Hindi ako matatahimik hanggat hindi ko nahahanap si Amora.
"Joshua, pwede bang hayaan mo nalang yung kaibigan ko? Ayaw nya nang... balikan ka!" Medyo nahinto sya roon.
"Just tell me where she is. Please. Hindi ko naman sya guguluhin..."
"Ligtas sya. Nasa maayos syang kalagayan. Ayos lang sya. Wag ka nang mag alala. Bigyan mo muna sya ng space," she said and continued to wipe my table.
I went back to the coffee shop again and again until I met Lance, Candy's boyfriend. I found out that Amora became his friend so I also asked him if he knew where she is. But he also didn't tell me anything.
I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm going crazy. I just want to know where she is. It's impossible for me not to find her. But now, I can't find her!
Sinuntok ako ni Zil at kinwelyuhan. Ngumisi ako, lasing na. I don't know where we are but I know I'm at the bar and having fun. Kaya lang mukhang hinila nya ako palabas.
"Ano sa tingin mo itong ginagawa mo? Ha?! Sisirain mo ba ang buhay mo?! Ilang araw ka nang umiinom!" Sigaw nya sa akin.
I chuckled. Hindi ako sumagot.
"Alam mong ang lolo mo lang ang dahilan kung bakit umalis si Amora! Alam ko kung gaano ka kamahal nung tao! Sa tingin mo magugustuhan nya tong ginagawa mo?!"
Tumawa ulit ako pero ngayon, nanlabo na ang mga mata.
"Bakit sya umalis, kung ganon? Mahal nya pala ako... bakit sya umalis?"
Pumikit ng mariin si Zil at binitawan ako. Napasandal ako sa pader at agad ring napaupo sa kalasingan. Humalakhak ako pero agad ring nangilid ang mga luha.
"Gusto ko lang naman syang mahanap. Gusto ko lang syang makita..." namamaos kong sinabi.
"Mahahanap mo sya! Magkikita pa kayo! At kapag dumating ang oras na yon, gusto mong makita ka nyang ganyan?"
Hindi ako sumagot.
"Umayos ka naman, Joshua! Nag aalala si tita sayo! Nag aalala kami sayo! Wag mong sirain ang buhay mo nang dahil lang rito!"
Inangat ko ang tingin sa kanya, hindi nagustuhan ang sinabi nya sa huli.
"Kung si Klara mawala sayo, kakayanin mo?"
Hindi sya nakapag salita. Pumikit sya ng mariin at muli akong nilapitan. Dinala nya ako sa kwelyo at hindi ko na alam ang sunod na nangyari. Nagising nalang ako kinaumagahan, malalim ang iniisip.
Candy know where she is and she said she's fine. Pero sapat na ba iyon para mapanatag ako? Hindi. Kailangan ko syang makita. Kailangan ko syang mahanap. Hindi ko titigilan si Candy.
Araw araw akong pumupunta sa coffee shop. I continued to study. Even though it was very difficult, kinaya ko. I don't know how long and I feel like a fool going back and forth to Candy. She was very tired of me especially when I graduated and she studied at another university, her course was architecture, I still didn't stop her.
"Hindi ka ba napapagod, Joshua? Tang ina isang taon na..." anya at pagod na pagod na tumingin sa itaas.
I didn't speak. I crossed my arms and waited for her to say more. I came here to her university again to ask. I really won't get tired. Whatever happens, I need to know where Amora is.
"Wala rin namang kwenta itong ginagawa mo, eh. Kasi kahit anong pakiusap mo, hindi ko sasabihin kung nasaan si Amora. Hiling nya ito sa akin kaya tutuparin ko yon. Sana naman respetuhin mo yon, Joshua," she said.
I sighed.
"Tsaka pinagtitinginan na tayo, oh! Salvador ka! Baka isipin nila girlfriend mo ako! Palagi mo pa naman akong pinupuntahan rito," maarte syang tumawa. "Gosh. Ang haba ng hair ko."
"Nasaan si Amora?" I ignored her words.
Iritado syang tumingin sa akin. "Nasaan si Amora! Nasaan si Amora! Palagi nalang ganyan! Hindi ko nga sasabihin sayo kung nasaan sya! Ang kulit mo! Wag ka nang mag alala! Maayos sya, okay? Ako na ang nagsasabi sayo! Maayos sya! Gosh! Paulit ulit nalang! Ano bang ginawa ko nung new year? Hindi naman tayo magkasama nung new year pero bakit ito palagi ang nangyayari sa akin?"
I sighed. Minsan naiisip ko ring walang kwentang pumunta sa kanya pero umaasa pa rin akong sasabihin nya. Damn it. I'm so desperate to find Amora.
Kalaunan, hindi ko na sya kinulit. Wala akong mapapala sa kanya. Lumipat na ako ng bahay at nagsisimula nang kumanta sa iba't ibang tv shows. Kilala ako dahil isa akong Salvador at mas lalo pang nakilala nang maging singer. Hinayaan na ako nina Mommy at Daddy sa gusto kong gawin. Maski si lolo, hinayaan na ako.
Sa ngayon makakampante muna ako sa impormasyon kay Candy. Na maayos lang si Amora. After all, she's her friend. Nagsasabi naman siguro sya ng totoo. Hindi pa rin ako mapakali pero nagtiwala ako.
"Ang galing nyang sumayaw..."
"Ang ganda pa..."
"Kilala mo ba sya?"
Nakapikit ako habang inaayusan dito sa dressing room ko. I ignore the whispers of my make up artists. But when I heard Zil's voice, I opened my eyes.
"Josh!" He called, pumasok sa dressing room ko.
Tamad ko syang nilingon. Nagmamadali syang pumunta sa akin. Bahagya pa akong nagulat nang hawakan nya ang braso ko at bigla nalang akong hilahin! Natigil ang mga nag aayos sa akin habang hinila naman ako palabas ni Zil.
"What? Bitawan mo nga ako," iritado kong sinabi nang makalabas.
Humalukipkip ako at kunot noo syang tinignan.
"Nakita mo na to?" Sabi nya at pinakita sa akin ang cellphone nya.
Sa youtube iyon. May sumasayaw na babae. At para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig. Agad kong nakuha ang phone ni Zil at tinignan maigi ang sumasayaw.
"That's Amora, right?" He said.
Lumunok ako. Amora L is the name of her youtube channel. I clicked on it and saw only five of her videos. I returned the phone to Zil and took my own phone. I immediately searched her on youtube.
Si Amora nga yon!
Zil smirked. "Sa tagal ng panahon..." hindi nya tinuloy.
"Shut up," sabi ko at pumasok ulit sa dressing room ko habang tinitignan ang mga videos nya.
No one knows how happy I was when I saw her again. Tama nga si Candy. She's fine. She's fine. She still looks like that but has become a bit sexy now. She danced even better. Her movements are in beat and she never forgets to smile while dancing.
Doon nakampante ako. Ayaw nya daw malaman ko kung nasaan sya kaya hindi ko na pipilitin. Kuntento na akong nakikita sya sumasayaw at maayos. Dalawang taon akong naghintay at ngayon, nakikita ko na sya.
Simula noon, palagi ko nang inaabangan ang mga bago nyang videos. She uploads new ones every week. And as I watched her videos over and over again while there was nothing new, I didn't realize that I was already smiling. Kahit dito lang, kuntento na ako. Masaya na ako.
Kaya lang, nang malaman ko kung sino sya, nabuo ang galit sa dibdib ko. She's a Legaspi. I know she didn't intend to lie but I immediately concluded that she did lie. And that was my mistake. Inuna ko ang galit ko.
Kaya lang, nagalit ulit ako nang kulitin nya ako. Ilang taon syang nawala, hindi maganda yung paghihiwalay namin noon, tapos babalik syang ganito? Pinaparamdam nya na naman sa akin na gusto nya ako? Without explanation?
But that's okay. Atleast she's here now, right? I also don't care about the past. I don't care if she chose the money. I no longer care at all. The important thing now is that she's here again.
Damn. I'm sure I'm not that in love, right? Tss.
Bumalik ang galit ko sa lolo ko nang malaman ko ang totoo kay Amora. Sabi ko na nga may iba pa syang ginawa noon. Pero alam kong ayaw na ni Amora ng gulo. We are all fine now. So I should just forget that but I don't think I will be able to forget it. Muntik nya na kaming sirain. Even though he's my grandfather, he still did something wrong.
We didn't have a chance to go to my condo yesterday so now we go. She said she wanted to see my condo. I smirked.
"Ang laki! Ikaw lang mag isa rito?" She asked. Nililibot ang paningin sa malaking condo ko.
"Yes," sabi ko at nagtungo sa pinto ng kwarto ko. "This is my room. Nandito ang dress mo."
Excited syang sumunod sa akin. Nakangiti ko syang pinagmasdan. I bought her a simple brown dress. Simple lang yon. Hanggang pulsuhan ang manggas ng damit at hanggang taas ng tuhod ang haba ng skirt. I know she doesn't wear sexy clothes so this is what I bought for her. At kahit naman gusto nya ng mga sexy na damit, ganito pa rin ang ibibili ko sa kanya.
"Wow! It's so beautiful! Gusto ko nang sukatin!" She said.
I chuckled. Binitawan nya sandali ang dress na nakalagay pa sa plastic at hanger. Nilibot nya ang paningin sa buong kwarto ko. My room is just simple. There's a king size bed, side table, large walk in closet, sofa and large chandelier. Sa labas may malaking kitchen, sala at may dalawa pang kwarto.
"Ang laki pala ng kwarto mo..." Amora said.
I walked towards her and hugged her from the back. "Mmm..."
"Ikaw lang talaga mag isa rito? Wala kang kasama kahit yaya?"
"Wala..."
"Sayang naman. Ang laki nitong condo mo."
"Ikaw? Gusto mong tumira rito kasama ko?"
Natigilan sya roon. I smirked and kissed her on the cheek.
"A-Ayoko nga! I mean... ayoko pang mahiwalay kina... Mama..."
I chuckled. I kissed her again on the cheek and nodded. "Okay, then," I smirked.
Matalim nya akong tinignan saglit. Natawa ako at hinarap sya sa akin. I saw her cheek red. I smirked and pinched it.
"My baby is blushing," I chuckled.
Iritado nyang iniwas ang mukha nya at hindi makatingin sa akin. Tumikhim sya at kunyari tinignan ulit ang dress. I smiled and hugged her again from the back.
"Do you like it?" I asked.
"Of course! I even love it!" She said.
I smiled and hugged her even tighter. Ilang taon man ang lumipas, I still don't lose my love for her. She's still the woman I want to be with always, the woman I always want to smile, the woman I always want to be happy and I want to be with for the rest of my life. Sya lang at wala nang iba. Sana... ganon rin sya sa akin.
Her birthday came. Pinaghandaan talaga yon ni tita Anna. Malaki ang party. Maraming dumalo. Marami ring media. The media is not really in the plan. But tita Anna wants it because she wants everyone to see what will happen later. I'm nervous but happy at the same time.
Maraming ilaw ang nagflash nang lumabas si Amora. Pinagmasdan ko sya. She's so beautiful with her long red dress. I can't believe that I'm the boyfriend of this beautiful woman. But I think... I'm not contented for just being her boyfriend anymore. I smirked.
"Good evening, everyone! Thank you for coming here tonight. I'm really happy that you're all here. Even in my birthday, you guys still supports me," Amora laughed a little. "But I'm really thankful that you're all here. Let's enjoy the night!"
Nakatitig lang ako sa kanya buong oras. Kasama nya ako pero hindi ko maalis sa kanya ang titig ko. Kapag may bumabati naaalis pero agad ring babalik. She's so beautiful. I can't help but stare. Damn.
I'm in love with her. I'm so in love with her. I'm in love with this beautiful girl. I don't know why I love her very much. All I know is I love her. She's a very talkative person. It's not my type but... I still fell. She's a very beautiful person. A very nice girl. Damn! Am I too in love?
She wore the dress I gave her when we were about to dance. I smiled. Nagmamayabang pa sya nang ipakitang iyon ang sinuot nya. I'm happy that she wears it. Bagay na bagay sa kanya yon.
"Am I too beautiful? Kanina ka pa nakatitig, ah?" Sabi nya sabay hagikgik.
Nasa harapan kami at nagsasayaw, kami lang dalawa. Nanonood sa amin ang lahat. Nakatutok ang spotlight sa amin at maraming nagkikislapang camera.
I chuckled. "Yeah. You're so beautiful. I can't take it."
She chuckled too. "Ang gwapo mo rin ngayon. Handang handa ka, ah?"
"Of course. It's your birthday."
She smiled. "Thank you. Wala ka bang regalo sakin?"
Tinitigan ko sya. Sa sinabi nyang yon, dahan dahan akong ngumiti. I have a very big gift for you. But I'm too... nervous.
Hindi ako sumagot kaya nanliit ang mga mata nya sa akin. "Wala kang regalo? Pero ayos lang! Kiss nalang, mamaya!"
I chuckled at that. Ngumiti rin sya at hindi na nagsalita. Tinitigan ko naman sya ng mabuti. Kinakabahan ako pero mas gusto kong gawin ito. Huminga ako ng malalim at bahagyang ngumiti kay Amora.
I used to think that the word love was not true. Akala ko dati nararamdaman lang natin ang pagmamahal sa pamilya at mga kaibigan. Nakita ko rin kung paano magsama ang mga magulang ko. They always do business and they are always busy. I never saw the love between them. So I became even more convinced that love is not real.
But when I met Amora, when I was with her and when I gradually got to know her personality, I realized that the true meaning of love shouldn't be based on other people relationship. Na nakita mo lang sa dalawang tao na wala silang pagmamahalan sa isa't isa, ibig sabihin hindi na totoo ang pag ibig.
You will never know and understand in other people the true meaning of love. Because only you can know and feel that.
Nalaman ko ang lahat ng ito nang makilala ko sya. I realized that there's real love in this life. Love not only for family and friends, but also for someone you don't expect to meet. Someone destined for you to be with you for the rest of your life.
Dahan dahan kong inilapit kay Amora ang noo ko. Pinagdikit ko ang noo namin. Pumikit ako at huminga ng malalim.
"What?" Gulat na tanong ni tita Anna.
Napanganga si Amara at hindi makapaniwalang natawa. Sumandal sya sa inuupuan nya at umiling.
"Are you sure about this?" Tito Brayden asked seriously.
"Yes. I'm sure about this, tito..." I said seriosuly.
They sighed.
"I hope you give me the permission to hold your daugther's hands, tito... tita... Amara..."
They sighed again. Tinitigan ako sandali ni tito pero maya maya lang, natawa at umiling. Hindi kalaunan, pumayag sila sa akin. Sobrang saya ang naramdaman ko.
"Make sure to take care of my Amora, hijo," tito Brayden said.
"Yes, tito. I promise," sabi ko at ngumiti. Hindi pa rin makapaniwala na pumayag sila.
Ilang sandali lang, bumitaw ako kay Amora, bahagyang lumayo sa kanya. Natigilan sya at nagtataka akong tinignan. Binitawan ko ang kamay nya at huminga ng malalim. Sumeryoso ako at dahan dahan, lumuhod sa harapan nya. Amora's eyes widened and her hand flew into her mouth in shock.
Umingay ang mga tao sa venue. Mas lalong dumami ang kislapan ng mga camera. I took a deep breath before looking up at Amora. I didn't speak immediately. I took the mic out of my suit pocket and took another deep breath. Tsaka palang ako nagsalita.
"Amora..." I called. "We have been through a lot... and we have overcome it all. Even a few years have passed, our love for each other is still here. And I'm so thankful... because God gave me someone like you..."
Mas lalong umingay. May nagsisigawan pa pero nagpatuloy ako.
"Thank you very much, Amora. Thank you so much for teaching me to understand and respect others. Tinuro mo sakin na hindi dapat dinadaan sa init ng ulo ang mga bagay bagay, you should be patient in anything. And when there's a problem, it should be discussed properly. You also taught me to be kind to the people around me. Na hindi porket mataas ang estado ko, mamaliitin at papahirapan ko na sila. Thank you for being with me all the time. And most of all, thank you for teaching me how to love."
At habang natututunan ko ang mga bagay na yon, mas lalo pa kitang minamahal at nararamdaman ko nang hindi na kita kaya pang pakawalan.
She's so shocked but she's also about to cry. Mas lalo nyang natakpan ang bibig nya. Mabilis syang umiyak kaya paniguradong maya maya lang, tutulo na ang mga luha nya. Bahagya na ring nangilid ang luha sa mga mata ko.
"So Amora..." namamaos kong pagtawag sa kanya habang tinitingala sya.
I licked my lips and took a deep breathe. Tumulo na ang luha sa mga mata nya. I smiled even though my lips are trembling. Kinuha ko sa suit ko ang kulay asul na kahita at hinarap sa kanya. She cried even more. I slowly opened it and stared at her. Tinitigan ko ang mga mata nyang alam kong hindi ko pagsasawaang titigan kailanman.
"Will you be my forever?"
Narinig ko ang sigawan ng mga kaibigan nya sa mga table nila. My eyes stayed on Amora. I'm nervous because she might not agree. She has only been able to fulfill her dream for a few years. I know she still wants to continue dancing so I don't know if she will agree now.
Pero sa mga oras na yon, dahan dahan syang tumango. At narinig ko na sa kanya ang pinakahihintay kong sagot.
"Yes... Yes... I will be your forever..." she said.
Mas lalo kong narinig ang sigawan. Dumami ang kislapan ng camera, hindi tumitigil. Dahan dahan naman akong napangiti at parang natanggal ang mabigat na nasa puso ko. I smiled and stood up. I slowly put the ring on her ring finger. Nanginginig pa ang kamay nya habang sinusuot ko yon.
Mabilis ko syang niyakap pagkatapos kong isuot iyon. I kissed her forehead and hair before closing my eyes and hugged her tightly. I can hear her sobbing. Maski ako, nadadala na rin ng damdamin pero pinipigilan ko.
I went to her ear. Nasa tenga ko na rin ang mukha nya at naririnig ko na ngayon ng mas maayos ang hikbi nya. I kissed her cheek.
"I love you..." I whispered.
"I love you too..." umiiyak nyang sinabi.
I smiled. I pressed my forehead to her forehead and stared at her. Her eyes and cheeks were full of tears. I gently wiped it off and also gently kissed her on the cheek and forehead.
She smiled even though there were still tears in her eyes and put her hands on my shoulders. She pressed our foreheads together again. I grabbed her waist and pulled her closer to me. She smiled more.
We stared at each other's eyes for a moment. Ngumiti sya at humagikgik maya maya. Hindi ko alam kung anong nakakatawa pero ngumiti nalang rin ako. This is all just matters now. Her smile... and she's mine.
--
Forgiveness is a choice. If you choose not to forgive, your heart will be filled with darkness and pain. But if you choose to forgive, your heart will be filled with joy, love, happiness and peace. - jhelly_star