"Ivan, buti naman at nagka-oras ka na." bati ko nang mapuntahan niya ako sa bahay kinabukasan.
"Hey." he smiled and hugged me tight. Sobrang higpit ng yakap niya pero hindi ko 'man lang nasuklian 'yun.
"I missed you so much. How are you?" he asked softly.
"Okay lang naman." ngumiti ako ng tipid.
"Are you mad at me?" parang medyo kinakabahan siya. I sighed and shook my head a bit.
"Hindi naman. Uhm, pwede ba pala tayo mag usap? May balak ka ba puntahan ngayon?" tanong ko.
"Kahit saan mo gustong pumunta, Seah. 'Di ba nga, babawi ako sa'yo?" he smiled and hugged me again. This time, I hugged him back but not as tight as his hug.
"Sa library mo." tipid kong sabi. Tumango naman siya at hinawakan ang kamay ko bago kami naglakad palabas ng bahay.
"Are you okay? You're not talking too much." puna niya habang nasa biyahe kami. Ngumiti nalang ako ng tipid at tumingin sa bintana. Tumahimik naman na din siya matapos 'non pero hindi niya binitawan ang kamay ko.
"Galit ka ba sa'kin?" tanong niya maya-maya.
"Hindi." tipid kong sabi nang hindi 'man lang siya tinitignan.
"It seems like you're mad at me." mahinang sabi niya.
"Madami lang talaga akong iniisip." I shrugged. He sighed and squeezed my hand lightly.
"You can tell me anything. I'm your boyfriend, Seah. Feel free to share your thoughts and problems with me. I'm always willing to listen." he glanced at me a bit pero agad niya din ibinalik sa daan ang tingin.
"Kung may tinanong ba ako sa'yo, magsasabi ka ng totoo?" mahinang tanong ko at liningon na siya. His brows creased a bit but he answered later on.
"Of course. Why would I lie to you?" he chuckled a bit.
"Sino si Camille." malamig na tanong ko. His lips suddenly formed into a thin line which made me raise my brows.
"We already talked about her, Seah. She's nothing but a fragment of my imagination." he said calmly.
"Really? So your so called imagination can write love letters now, huh?" I laughed a bit.
"What are you talking about?" naguguluhang tanong niya.
"'Yung box sa kwarto mo, Ivan." I massaged my temple a bit. I just can't move on from that. Iniisip ko pa'rin 'yung tungkol doon up until now.
"I already told you, hindi ko alam kung kanino 'yun. Let's not talk about her and that box again. Please, Seah. Just forget about it." nagtitimping sabi niya. His hold on my hand also loosened a bit, parang gusto nang bitawan.
"Bakit ba ayaw mo siyang pag usapan? May hindi ba dapat ako malaman tungkol sa kanya?" I glared at him a bit and let go of his hand. He parked his car silently which made me look outside the window. Nasa tapat na pala kami ng bahay nila, hindi ko 'man lang namamalayan.
"I just don't want to." tipid niyang sabi at lumabas na ng sasakyan niya. Ang akala ko ay iiwan na niya ako doon pero pinagbukas niya ako ng pinto sa gilid ko at sinenyasan na bumaba.
Tahimik lang kami habang naglalakad kami papunta sa kwarto niya. When we got there, umupo ako saglit sa kama niya at tumitig lang sa puting pader.
"Hindi ba tayo papasok?" he asked and turned the knob of his library's door.
"Kailangan natin mag usap, Ivan. Pwedeng dito nalang? Medyo sumasakit kasi ulo ko." sabi ko at tinitigan siya. He stared at me a bit before nodding slowly.
"Tungkol saan ba?" tanong niya at sumandal sa pintuan ng library niya.
"Naaksidente ka na ba noon? 'Yung malala..." marahan kong tanong habang nakatingin pa'rin sa pader. Naramdaman ko ang paninitig niya sa'kin bago siya nagsalita.
"Oo. Car accident. 'Nung nineteen ako." walang emosyong sagot niya.
Napanganga ako at biglang naalala ang sinabi ni Camryn. There might be a possibility that he got amnesia from that accident. Pwedeng girlfriend niya noon si Camille tapos nakalimutan niya lang. Kaya niya siguro napapanaginipan palagi noon. Because she's part of his past after all.
"Did you, uh... did you have amnesia or-"
"I did. But I immediately recovered and got my memories back after a few months." tipid niyang sabi.
Natahimik ako at tumango nalang, naguguluhan pa din. Everything's so unclear to me. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang susunod kong itanong dahil pakiramdam ko, hindi niya din alam ang magiging sagot.
"I don't remember much of my highschool days, kaya ikaw ang tinatanong ko. I want you to answer honestly, Ivan. Magkakilala ba tayo noon?" I asked while still staring at the blank wall in his room.
"You don't remember anything when you were in high school? Why?" he asked instead. I smiled sadly and just sighed.
"I don't know. I just seem to forget." I answered honestly.
"I see. You still don't remember..." bulong niya kaya napalingon ako sa kanya. He looks sad and devastated but when he saw me staring, he smiled.
"What?" I asked him. Umiling lang siya at nag iwas ng tingin.
"Why are you asking about that all of a sudden?" he asked.
"I saw a picture of us." I said in a small voice. Dahil doon ay napalingon siya sa'kin ulit.
"It was in a box, inside my room. It came with books and other stuff that I don't own. And this, too." sabi ko at ilinabas ang maliit na silk bag sa shoulder bag na dala ko.
"What is that?" he asked curiously and walked near me.
"It's a necklace." tipid kong sabi at ilinabas ang kwintas na nasa loob 'non. Inabot ko 'yun sa kanya at pinanood lang ang magiging reaction niya.
He stared at it for more than a minute. Nakatitig lang siya doon at wala 'man lang kahit anong emosyon ang lumandas sa mukha niya.
"Kamukhang-kamukha ng kwintas mo." mahinang sabi ko. Binalik niya 'yun sa'kin at huminga nalang ng malalim.
"May kasama pa ba 'to?" tanong niya at tinitigan ako.
"Mga libro, may wallet, mga panali ng buhok. Tapos may maliit na envelope." sagot ko naman.
"What was inside that envelope?" he asked carefully.
"Picture ng dalawang teenagers. Kamukhang-kamukha natin, Ivan. Sigurado akong tayo 'yun." naiiyak na sabi ko.
Gulong gulo na ako at pakiramdam ko, wala akong alam sa mga nangyari noon. Parang wala kasi talaga. Like I don't even know myself.
"Do you have the picture with you?" he asked. Tipid akong tumango at hinanap 'yun sa bag ko.
Inabot ko sa kanya 'yung picture at matagal niya ding tinitigan 'yun.
A tear escaped from his eye but he immediately wiped it away.
"May kasama pa 'yan." sabi ko at inabot 'yung papel na may nakasulat na pangalan nila ni Camille.
His hand was shaking when he held it and his eyes started to pool but he immediately blinked his tears away.
"Ngayon mo ako sagutin, Ivan. Sino si Camille? Please, just tell me who she is." I asked desperately and started crying. Napayuko ako at pilit na pinakalma ang sarili ko habang inaantay ang magiging sagot niya.
"Seah-"
"Ako ba?" tanong ko na siyang ikinatigil niya. I wiped my tears and looked up at him again.
"Ako ba si Camille?"