Several weeks later
“Did Sir Jay call you?” Oliver asked France as soon as they stepped out of the airport. The sound of bags and suitcases being lugged by more than a hundred passengers in Salt Lake City International Airport entered through their ears. People were chattering as they made their ways towards the cars and taxis.
France, who walked beside the coach nodded and wore his mask as he answered, “Nag-good luck lang po. May mga tinanong din po tungkol doon sa free skate ko.” Their team got inside the bus occupied by the members of the Japanese team.
When France spotted Yuki at the back part of the bus, he signaled at him when their eyes met. He immediately approached him when the Japanese took his headphones off and waved his hand. “Do you mind if I sit here?” he asked and sat beside him when the response was a nod. “Rob’s stuck inside.”
Yuki laughed. “His fans must’ve missed him so much,” he commented. “I tell you something.. he’s always been the crowd’s favorite, though it’s a different story in the Grand Prix Series. He gets chased by girls.. like every single time.”
“I don’t see the reason why not,” France uttered as they both chuckled. A few minutes later, the vehicle started running. He took out his phone and sent a text message to his sister, saying that they had safely arrived at the city. He then looked at the direction Yuki had his eyes on.
A glance outside was enough to make him stare at the view from the window. Salt Lake City might look like any other cities at the country but there was something unique and intriguing about the way it had enthralled France. The mountains became a contribution on how he loved nature. He’s not to blame, though. The county was encircled with mountains that bordered the eastern part of the city, containing narrow canyons. Moreover, the Great Salt Lake surrounded the northwest part, prior to its location in the northeast corner of the Salt Lake Valley.
“I have a feeling that things are bound to go wrong,” Yuki commented and sighed heavily.
France’s eyes shifted to the Japanese skater. “Was it about Luigi?” he asked, concerned. “I can find a way for you guys to meet up. He’s pretty cool with me so I think he’ll listen. It’s also my suggestion that you talk to him after the competition. You wouldn’t want to throw up your performance, would you?”
Yuki nodded twice and leaned on his seat. “We shouldn’t let Rob meet him first, though.” There was a hint of worry on the tone of his voice. Nevertheless, he was certain of his decision. If they were to immediately see Luigi at the hotel or at the practice arena tomorrow, he shouldn’t let the two meet first. There’s going to be chaos and he’s sure of that.
•••
France had regretted that he was the first to go to their hotel room. He was already sweating when Dravie came in after a few minutes. When their eyes met, he immediately avoided his stares and headed right to the bathroom.
He knew it was immature for him to do that. It’s okay to feel sad or not be able to face his fellow skater directly but obviously avoiding him was out of the line. France had already accepted the result during the past weeks. He had accepted the fact that he wouldn’t be the one who would represent their country in the upcoming Olympic qualifier event. He just really found it hard to talk to Dravie, knowing that there had always been a gap between the two of them and it eventually grew larger because of his actions.
The look that was plastered on his face when he walked out of the bathroom showed a hint of seriousness even if he really wanted to not show anything at all. When he saw Dravie glance at him from his peripheral view, he could only head straight to his bed to get his phone from his bag.
“We’re not strangers.” France paused. “Nasa junior level ka pa lang ay kilala na kita. You hated my guts more than anyone in this world, so don’t act like you don’t know me at all. None of those are funny,” Dravie said.
France felt bad. Guilt was eating him up as he picked up his phone. After a couple of sighs, he turned to Dravie and answered, “Look, if you’re thinking that I’m doing this dahil natalo mo ako, nagkakamali ka. Of course, I feel like I’m inferior to you. Pero hindi ko naman intensyon na iwasan ka o ano dahil una sa lahat, wala naman akong tinatagong galit sa ‘yo.” He shrugged his shoulders after. “Dati na tayong hindi close.”
Dravie just looked at him. He closed his eyes for a second. “But you still wished they’d change their decision, right?” he replied, provoking him. France’s crumpled brows were something he already saw coming even from miles away.
“I mean, who wouldn’t?” France retorted. “I deserved that as much as you do. Hindi ko masasabing best performance ko ‘yon pero alam kong alam mong kaya ko. And to be honest, I expected that. Ganoon naman talaga minsan, ‘di ba? May mga panahong alam na natin ‘yong resulta. Alam na natin kung mananalo tayo o matatalo. But even in the slightest chance, naniniwala pa rin tayo na baka pwede. Kahit medyo wala na talagang pag-asa, umaasa pa rin tayo na baka pagbigyan tayo, ‘di ba? Because it’s not like we know what would happen. That’s why I wished for it, kung ‘yan ang gusto mong marinig.”
No one responded after that. When France knew he said what he needed to, he walked to the door with a straight face but before he could open it, he heard Dravie cleared his throat. He turned to him upon knowing that he still had something to say.
“I know,” Dravie began. He smiled and breathed heavily before looking at him. “You did what you can. It’s not just your best program. You haven’t met it yet. Mayroon ka pang igagaling at alam kong mas deserve mo na sumali sa competition na ‘yon. But you can at least.. act like you’re happy for me, even if you don’t think you do.”
It was unfair that Dravie was the one to walk out first because France had been dying to do that but then, he felt like he finally understood him. He was silent for seconds, or minutes. When he finally snapped to reality, he slowly walked downstairs, still dumbfounded. He was feeling guilty but it’s not like he could easily apologize for being insensitive. His pride was on edge and if he was to say sorry, he wanted to make him feel that he really meant it.
“France!” When he roamed his eyes around, he found Rob with a group of skaters. Upon realizing they were his teammates, he immediately flashed a smile. “Have you seen Yuki? I didn’t find him at the lobby,” Rob said as he signaled his friends to go to their hotel rooms without him.
“He was downstairs, though,” France answered as they both walked at the hallway. “Maybe they’re still not finished with the accreditation.”
“I did see some of his teammates there…” Rob took a glance at France who seemed unusually quiet. His curiosity wasn’t visible through his facial expression though he was tapping his fingers on the strap of his bag continuously. “You okay?” he asked.
France threw a confused look that seemed fake so that Rob wouldn’t know that the answer to his question was no. “Yeah, I’m fine.. really.” He knew it sounded suspicious. But when the American responded a nod, he was relieved. He didn’t want him to worry that much even if everyone knew what he’s gone through. The thing was that each one of them had their own problems and he didn’t want to be a burden, let alone have them concerned. It wasn’t that he didn’t need help. He just wanted to be able to overcome things on his own.
“I’m relieved then,” Rob said and smiled at him. “I know I can’t keep it from happening but I wouldn’t want to see you, all of you.. feeling down again because it’s devastating for me too.”
Something inside him fluttered. France knew it very well. He was aware that he already was playing a part in both Yuki and Rob’s lives. The moment those two met him, they probably had considered him as a friend but the thought that he was being treasured brought him pure happiness. The fact that they were there for him as he was for them was something he never saw coming although he liked how it influenced him.
“You’re aware that it’s also the same for us, right?” France responded as Rob went quiet for seconds and nodded after. “We were also overwhelmed when we saw you cry, especially to me.. because I didn’t know that you felt that way. I didn’t know what happened to begin with, anyway. It’s not that I’m asking you to tell me everything. But if you ever feel like you can’t take anything anymore, just know that I’m here.. though I doubt that would lessen the pain. But having someone by your side is better than nothing, right?”
The two of them both agreed with that with just their glances at each other. Upon reaching the lobby, France’s eyes searched for Yuki. Realizing that the skater wasn’t there even if their team was talking to some hotel staffs, he panicked, especially when a group of skaters wearing their team jackets that had Italy printed on its sleeves entered the hotel. Just when he was about to turn to Rob, he saw that he has already started walking towards the Japanese team.
“Takada-san,” Rob called Yuki’s companion at the men’s singles before bowing his head in front of them. “Is Yukiharu around?”
“Uh.. yes,” the skater answered and nodded. “He’s talking to a guy outside.”
France knew that that was already a signal. After looking at Rob who was also surprised, the two of them rushed outside the building. Their eyes had to roam around the area and it wasn’t until they got to the parking lot when they lost their composure. Though they weren’t able to hear the sound of their hearts beating rapidly, they were aware of it because standing on the ground with that view felt like hell.
He wasn’t able to stop his friend from approaching the two. France could only follow him slowly, gulping as if he’s getting ready for what’s about to happen. “Yuki,” Rob called without glancing at the Italian skater. “Go get accredited inside. Your team’s waiting.”
Yuki’s lips were pale. When France held his shoulders, he felt weak at the fact that his friend was slightly trembling. “We’re going inside, okay?” he whispered at his ears. It made the skater snap into reality and nod twice.
“France.” Luigi’s voice made him pause. “We meet again,” the Italian said and smiled for the first time since they approached them.
France felt like he was trapped in the situation. Part of him was saying that he should ignore him and another part was that he shouldn’t be too rude. His side was on his friends but to make the atmosphere less heavy, he forced a smile and answered, “Yeah. It’s.. it’s nice to see you again. Good luck to you and your team. Let’s both do our best.”
Rob didn’t want to see Luigi’s playful smile, let alone his eyes. He didn’t want to remember how he looked like despite the fact that he was dying to take a glimpse at the flaxen hair that he used to brush with his fingers before. It was frustrating to remember the past in the midst of their awkward situation and he wanted to punch himself for that. Nevertheless, he remained silent.
“Good luck to you also. Then.. let’s all see each other at the rink,” Luigi said and placed the strap of his bag on his right shoulder. He then glanced at Rob and bowed in front of Yuki after. “I’m looking forward to skating with you again.. Rob, Ishida-san.”
The urge to punch him right in the face crawled up to Rob’s mind. It was a good thing that he’s able to control himself as he grabbed the collar of Luigi’s shirt instead. He closed his eyes for a second when he looked at him. “You.. you can’t call him by that name.” His lips trembled. “Of all people.. you knew you can’t,” he uttered.
“Oh.” Luigi covered his mouth for a moment. “I’m sorry. I guess I forgot,” he replied as his grin made the three of them silent.