“Magpapaturo ka sa ‘kin ng Biellmann?” Kelsey surprisingly asked France when he showed up in Ice Palace at ten in the morning with his three rink mates. She skated to their direction with Dravie following her behind. “Let me remind you that it’s not that easy at mas lalong hindi ako ang dapat mong nilalapitan. Well, if you want to compete in the women’s singles, go ask Sir Peter.”
“No, it’s not that..”
“Oh? France?” Dravie interrupted with a grin. “Hindi mo ba nakaya ang training mo ro’n kaya nandito ka? Wala pa man lang isang buwan, oh. And what’s up with the Biellmann spin? Are you that desperate to get ahead of me?”
France raised his eyebrow, a little bit triggered. “Actually, hindi ka dapat ma-concern sa ‘kin. After all, I’m just doing what I want. Whether it’s for reaching my dream or going ahead of you, it doesn’t matter to you, does it?” he said and glared back at him.
“Stop it or I’ll kick the two of you out,” Kelsey said with a serious voice. She caught both of their attention, as well as the other three behind France. “Your body’s not flexible enough to do a full Biellmann, might as well do some stretching and exercise first. Pwede ring half Biellmann muna ang gawin mo since ‘yon din naman ang starting line mo. Either way, ‘wag ka sa ‘kin magpaturo kasi hindi gano’n kaganda ang position ko. Kausapin mo ang coach mo. And stop fighting here. Hindi na kayo elementary students.”
France rolled his eyes the same way Dravie did and looked at the three at his back. “She’s that stingy,” he whispered and sighed. “I can talk to Mason about the spin but you were the ones who insisted on going here. What’re we going to do here? We already paid for the entrance fee.”
“You can ask her some tips, Francey,” Yuki suggested with eyes roaming around, showing excitement. The skating rink was at its usual condition. There were a couple of skaters around, others were the competitive ones. To everyone else, the place is probably just a usual training area but to Rob and Yuki, it brings them nostalgia, one that never makes them sure if they’re longing to be in it again. “It’s been long since I last came here so I don’t feel like going back yet. Plus, we can all just practice here. It’s not like someone else is gonna mind.”
When they started warming up, France approached Kelsey once again, aware of the unusual mood that had been growing between Rob and Yuki.
•••
France approached the jump from a forward approach on the inside edge of the blade, switching backwards just before the takeoff where he jumped from the right back outside edge with assistance from the left toepick. In a total of four rotations, he landed on the back outside edge of the same foot, with the free leg swinging backwards. “And that’s how you do a quad toe, though mine’s a little wobbly,” he told Benjamin whose eyes were fixed on his movements.
 “So it’s like a loop with the assistance of toepick?” Benjamin asked.
“Yeah. That’s why it’s called a toe loop,” France answered and placed his hands at both sides of his hips. “It’s also one of the easiest jumps you can add in combinations. If I’m not mistaken, Rob has one in his short program. A quad Lutz and triple toe combination. You should consider talking to him if you’re going to try it in a combination.”
Benjamin nodded and smiled. “Thanks. I’ll be practicing it then,” he replied and glided away.
“France!” Just as he’s about to face the same way, Jess who just entered the rink with Mavi made her way towards him. She was wearing her favorite leggings paired with a long sleeve top and a warm up jacket. “You should’ve told us na pupunta ka rito para inagahan namin ng dating. Nagulat tuloy ako no’ng nag-text sa ‘kin si Kelsey. What made you come here? And are those your friends? Ang popogi naman. Pakilala mo ako ro’n sa nakasalamin, dali,” she said and giggled.
“Kakasabi mo lang na pogi, paanong papatol sa ‘yo ‘yon?” Mavi immediately interrupted and pulled her at his side, his eyes directed at France. “What’s up? Kamusta ang practice ro’n? The first time I saw your coach, I assumed he was strict. So what’s he like?”
France chuckled and sighed after. “A lot more than that,” he answered. “I mean, it’s not like Sir Jay’s any different. Mas strikto nga lang ‘yong bago. He assigned me a triple Axel.”
“So what brought you here?”
“Uhh,” France uttered and scratched the back of his head. “May pinuntahan ‘yong coach ko kahapon at mamaya pa ang balik niya. Iyong mga kasama ko ang nagpilit na pumunta kami rito. Magpapaturo sana ako at hihingi ng tips kay Kelsey para sa Biellmann spin.”
There was silence for seconds, not that he didn’t saw it coming. Mavi was the one who gasped with eyes wider than usual. “Seryoso ka?” he exclaimed and looked at Jess who had the same reaction as his. “Dude, a Biellmann? I mean, alam ko namang may lalaki ring kayang gumawa no’n and it’s not like it’s prohibited in the men’s singles. Pero kaya mo ba? I’m not doubting your talent and skills or anything. It’s just that.. can you make it in time for August? Because I’m a hundred percent sure you won’t barge in the Challenger Series without mastering that.”
It was France’s turn to fell silent. He smiled as a response but deep inside, Mavi’s words revived his dying hesitation. Before he knew, things were starting to spark chaos again.
•••
The atmosphere by the bench outside seemed a lot calmer than inside Ice Palace. France was slightly stamping his shoes on the ground in rhythm while holding his phone near his ear. The look on his face was less tensed and he was smiling a bit while nodding every once in a while. “My rink mates are top figure skaters po, Sir Jay. Hindi ko ho kilala ‘yong mga kasama nina Mavi kasi sa ibang skating rink po ako nagpa-practice. Hindi rin po ako ro’n sa bahay ni Sir Oliver nags-stay kasi pinalipat ako ng coach ko sa villa nila,” he said.
“May bago ka ng short program? What were the elements and the music?” Sir Jay asked from the other line.
“Quad Salchow at triple Axel po ang solo jumps ko, triple-triple loop sa jump combination, flying camel at sit sa spins,” France answered and paused for a while as he breathed heavily. “Sir, I’m planning on including a Biellmann spin in my spin combination. I know it’s too bold for me to say that since I haven’t been doing pretty well lately but I thought I should do something that I’d be proud of and will make people remember me. Ayos lang po kaya ‘yon?”
Sir Jay went silent for seconds until France heard him sigh and say, “Omit the phrase, ‘ayos lang po kaya ‘yon,’ will you? Hindi ko gusto ang tono no’n. France, you don’t need to ask for my permission, or anyone’s permission for doing the things you want, as long as it won’t hurt anyone, especially yourself. You executing a Biellmann in your upcoming competitions is no big deal for me. Alam ko naman na paghahandaan mo ‘yon. Former coach mo kaya ako. Syempre alam ko kung gaano ka ka-passionate sa training. At isa pa, I would love you to do something that’d be iconic, even if it doesn’t make you ahead of others yet.”
A warm, genuine smile peeked from France’s lips as he answered, “Opo. Thank you, Sir Jay.” When the other two came out of Ice Palace, France stood up. “I’ll call you again, Sir. Aalis na po kami ng mga kasama ko.”
“Let’s go catch a taxi,” Rob said as soon as he ended the call. “Benjamin’s going to stay a bit longer because he met an acquaintance inside.”
France only nodded as he followed the two. Something’s been telling him that something happened inside since Yuki’s unusually quiet though he did not ask because that would invade his privacy. He did not want to make trouble. Whether they’d tell him or not, the decision is not up to him and he had to respect that. 
The moment they got inside a taxi, silence emerged from nothing. A song was being played in the stereo and it made the scene feel like a part in a drama movie. No one dared to talk even if they all felt like they should. And before they could come back to their senses, the vehicle stopped when it already reached its destination. France was the last to get out as he had to wait for the taxi to drive away before entering the villa’s gate. 
“France,” Rob immediately called when they got inside the villa. “Yuki wanted to talk to you. I’ll get inside to give you guys some privacy.”
Yuki was already teary-eyed when Rob tapped his shoulders and walked away. He suddenly sat on the grass and started crying helplessly. His arms lied on his knees as his tears fell on his pants. “Y-you were the kid at the funeral, right? Why didn’t I notice at first, Francey?” he said and looked up to him. “Ken saved you at an accident five years ago, right? And that’s the reason why you started skating a year after.”
“I.. I’m sorry,” France answered, startled at the way Yuki acted. It was his first time seeing him cry his feelings out.
“I’m sorry,” Yuki gently said with eyes that ask for forgiveness. “I hate that I hate you and I’m sorry for that. I’m aware it’s not your fault but I’ll have to admit that I’m having a hard time looking at you right now.”
A tear fell from his eye, followed by another, and another. France could only stare at Yuki, the most cheerful skater he’d ever known who was having a breakdown in front of him. He felt weak and responsible for his friend’s tears although he knew he couldn’t do anything to make him feel okay. He couldn’t even move an inch, afraid that his presence might even make everything worse.
“I’ve.. I’ve lived my life, lived my training and lived my career wanting to skate with my friends. Ken.. he told me before going back to the Philippines that he wanted to stand next to me at that podium in the Grand Prix Finals, with Rob. H-he said he wouldn’t care if he’d stand at the middle, left or right side, as long as he’s with us,” Yuki uttered with his eyes fixed on the ground. “That’s why I did all I can to climb up to this position.. because I hoped that someday, it’s going to come true. I’m sorry, France, because five years ago, back at the funeral and up until now, I’ve always thought you ruined everything.”
It felt as if something pinched his heart. France couldn’t take it. But just as he’s about to walk out, Yuki grabbed his hand. “Four months, France. Beat me in a competition four months later from now and I’ll get over it. Although even if you don’t, I still will. But know that you’ll have to bear with me because I’m not a really an understanding person myself. Please. This is the only thing I ask for.”
He didn’t say yes when he stood up and walked away. France’s feelings were heavy. Of course, he knew very well that everyone blamed him for everything. But having someone said it right in front of his face hurt like fucking hell. He wiped his tears and sighed. Even if he doubt he could beat Yuki, he’d still end up agreeing anyway.