"JESSICA!" Nagising ang diwa ko sa malakas na tawag ng tatlo kong kaibigan dito sa hapagkainan. Ang mga kilay nila'y nakatagpo sa gitna ng noo saka ang mga mata nama'y puno ng panunukso at katanungan.
"You're saying?" Naubosan ako ng ideyang pwedeng isagot sa kanila sabay subo ng bacon at inom ng orange juice dahil wala talaga akong alam sa kung anuman ang pinag-uusapan nila. Ngayon ko pa napansin na pati pala ang mga kasambahay ay nakatuon ang atensyon sa akin dahil na rin sa sobrang lakas ng boses nilang tatlo.
"Ang sabi namin, sasama ka ba sa camping samakalawa? Bakit ka kasi nakatulala sa cellphone mo?" Nakataas na ang kilay ni Marz ngayon samantalang ang kambal ay nagpatuloy sa pagkain ngunit hindi pa rin inaalis ang mga matang mapanukso. Gaano ba katagal lutang ang isip ko? Kasalanan niya ang lahat ng ito, tatlong gabi akong napapaisip kung anong ibig sabihin nung sinabi niya sa akin sa stop by namin sa Alalum falls ang mga katagang paulit-ulit na naglalaro sa isip ko. Pagkatapos niyang sabihin 'yon ay hindi na niya ko kinausap sa buong byahe at hindi siya nagparamdam sa mga magkasunod na araw. Kahit text or updates sa social media ay wala akong natanggap sa kanya, kahit isa.
"Baka may inaabangan n-" Naputol ang sasabihin ni Jia nang may pamilyar na boses ang bumati mula sa aking likuran.
"Ang aga mo naman Captain para bisitahin ako. Miss mo na ko?" Napaayos agad ako ng upo sa silya at sa ubas lang nakatitig na sinerve ni Manay nang biglang bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko, nagdadalawang-isip pa kung lilingon ba ako o hindi. I think my feet were glued on the floor while Marz who's adjacent to me stood and turn around the dining to greet him back.
"Good morning rin Captain." Jia greeted him then her brows moved up and down teasing me while Hazel just replied with a quick smile.
Hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat gawin kaya imbes na lumingon at batiin siya ay hindi ko na tinapos ang pagkain na nasa aking pinggan at iniwan nalang ito sabay kumaripas ng takbo papuntang music room. Pagdating sa music room ay napahawak ako sa dibdib kong parang sasabog na sa lakas ng pintig nito. I muttered a curse under my breath.
When my elevated blood pressure went back to normal, I decided to play Yiruma's playlist to calm me, the one he gave me as promised. I pressed the open button of the player and placed the CD on the disc drive motor, and it took a few minutes to finally hear the music after the spinning process inside the player. Eventually, the heavenly music wafted the lonely air of the room. I opened the windows and allowed the fresh air from the outside add vibrancy that I missed to do ever since I left the mansion for a long time. I closed my eyes and smiled as music in the air slowly enveloped me before...
"I miss that from you."
Naidilat ko agad ang aking mga mata nang marinig ang boses niya at sa isang kumpas ng kamay ay bumalik ulit ang malakas na tibok ng puso ko at ngayon nama'y mas lumala pa ito dahil nahihirapan akong huminga. Hindi ko siya nilingon sa pangalawang pagkakataon at sa labas lang nakatitig. Naramdaman ko ang paglapit niya sa direksiyon ko at huminto ang mga yabag sa tapat ng piano. He started pressing connecting keys and stopped to ask me.
"Why are you avoiding me?" Napalunok ako ng laway sa sinabi niya at hindi pa rin siya nilingon. Walang nagsalita sa amin at tanging ang malungkot na musika lamang ang pumapagitna sa aming dalawa. Sa kabila ng malakas na musika ay narinig ko pa rin ang mabibigat na pagbuntong-hininga niya na tila'y nahihirapan siyang nakikita ako sa malapitan pero hindi naman nililingon o kinakausap.
"Here's the flash drive you've asked last night. I wonder why you still need this though." I huffed in disgust and finally turned to face him, my arms crossed in front of my abdomen and my eyes darted against his.
"So, you came here just for the flash drive? At kung hindi ko 'yon tinext sayo kagabi ay hindi ka pupunta dito?" I arched my brow when he grinned annoyingly.
"Now I get it. So, you missed me?" He confidently stood and walked fast going in my direction.
"Hell no! Of course not! And why should I?" He grinned again completely annoying me then moved his brows up and down.
I stepped back when he was about to step further towards me still wearing his grin that I want to rip out from his mouth. He continued to step forward and I also keep stepping back until I lose my footing when my back bumped the open window. I panicked when my back continued to arch out from the window leaving me no choice but to close my eyes bracing my fall.
But...
I didn't feel my back on the ground nor the roof instead, an arm pulled my waist and the other cupped my head back inside before I would fall from the window. The next thing that happened was too fast and the last thing I knew was my safe landing on his chest. Consequently, I was on top of him, my face on his chest while his arms wrapped me carefully like I'm a fragile doll.
"My gas! Gus Abelgas!" Marz covered her mouth shocked and next to her were the twins who pushed Marz who's blocking the door to witness the scene as well.
"If you missed each other, you should do it in the bedroom and not here in the music room." My jaw dropped with what Hazel just advised and I automatically stood away from that awkward position and didn't even help Marc to stand.
"Romantic kasi ang music dito kaya 'wag na natin silang disturbohin." Jia added that made me want to be devoured by the ground right at this moment.
"That's not what you think it is." Finally, Marc spoke but before he could explain to them the whole story, I immediately answered my phone without looking who's the caller. I knitted my brows when I heard Jacob's voice on the line calling my name.
"Yes, Jacob?" I saw how Marc's reaction changed and looked outside the window avoiding my eyes.
"Jess, are you free tonight?" Ano na namang kailangan nito?
"Yes, I'm free. Why?" Pati ang mga maingay kong kaibigan ay natahimik nang marinig ang pangalan niya maliban kay Marz na lumapit agad sa akin para makichika.
"Mom asked you to join us for dinner, if it's okay with you." Bakas ang kaba sa pag-usap niya sa akin kahit sa phone at kitang-kita ko ang mukha niya habang kinakausap ako. At ako namang kulang sa tulog ay pumayag agad nang hindi nag-iisip.
"Sundoin mo nalang ako dito sa bahay at 5 pm." Nakita ko kung paano mabilis nakalingon si Marc bilang pagtutol subalit nakapasya na ko 'tsaka hindi pa ko ready kausapin siya.
"So, it's a yes?" Tinatanong pa ba 'yon? Baka gusto niyang bawiin ko nalang.
"Yeah, see you." I lazily dropped the call and grabbed the flash drive above the piano frame and left them without looking at him and the twins followed.
The whole morning, I faced my laptop selecting the best pictures that I will use to completely break Ivy and Jacob's world apart once and for all. For Jacob, I chose the most painful scene from Dad's apartment where Ivy and her lover secretly met doing a sinful scene. On the other hand, I chose the best among the stolen pictures from my meeting with Jacob in the cafe, during the opening in public, and for the trump card is the painful revelation scene where Jacob hugged and kissed me in the grand hotel. Let's see how Ivy will react once she saw this.
After sending the pictures on their mobile phones as anonymous, I decided to get some rest for the afternoon to save energy for later. My stupid alarm woke me up but I kept snoozing it not until 15 minutes had passed and so I pushed myself to get ready. After taking a bath, I randomly pick an emerald, green dress that falls below the knee. It's silk and the back is open but the neckline forms an H so it's simple yet sophisticated. I partnered it with a black loeffler randall tassel sandals because my fashionista mood is not active. I didn't wear any jewelry nor styled my hair. I just let my silver hair flow down and I applied minimal makeup then I'm ready to go. I buzzed my lips when I watched myself in the vanity mirror. I smiled bitterly when my finger reached the scar on my undereye, though I covered it completely with a concealer but still in my eyes I can clearly see it. I was disturbed by a loud knock on the door, I grabbed my black clutch after checking myself for the last time in the mirror and then open the door to check who's knocking. I raised a brow when Amy handed me a brown envelop because as far as I remember, I don't have any orders online this month.
"What's this for?" I asked, confused.
"Para kay Sir po." I immediately get the envelope from her hand and raised my hand dismissing her then went back inside the room to safely placed the envelope inside my secret drawer since Dad will arrive tomorrow. After securing the envelope, I exited the room and directly go downstairs to the front porch of the house where Jacob was leaning on his BMW, tossing his keys in the air while waiting for me. He's wearing a crimson red polo shirt and tan jeans paired with black Adidas pump shoes. He dropped the keys when he sensed my presence, now his mouth formed an o as he scanned me.
"Sorry for making you wait." I smiled when I reached his proximity and leaned to give him a quick peck on the cheek. He stiffened when I distanced myself and traverse my hand from his shoulder down to his back to open the shotgun seat. He stepped back and tried to open the door for me but he's already too late since I quickly entered the car.
Tahimik kami sa buong byahe at kanina pa siya nagnanakaw ng tingin sa akin. As a diversion, I asked permission to turn on the radio and he smiled at me as a yes. At first, the slow rock music lightened up the awkward atmosphere between us and he continued smiling, stealing glances at me like a mad man. However, when our favorite song entitled 'Could I Love You Anymore' wafted the air, we were stuck in traffic of rush hour. I pursed my lips while listening to the song because I learned to hate that song, I refused to play it on the piano and even deleted it from my playlist ever since that horrible day.
I shifted in my seat a little getting uncomfortable by the song and accidentally caught his sad eyes. Everything went slow when a tear left his eyes and as it fell, my heart ached. An urge to reach his face and wipe his tears lived up inside me but I remembered... Marc.
INSTEAD of reaching his face, I looked away and turned off the radio before the song ended and focused on the road until we reached their mansion. He exhaled heavily before getting out of the car and open the door for me. He offered his hand to me, and I held on to it with a slight doubt. Tahimik kaming pumasok sa mansion at binati kami ng Mom niya sa may living room na malumanay na inuutosan ang mga kasambahay kung saan ililipat ang ibang picture frame pero ang pinagtataka ko ay ang absence ni Mr. Fuentes. Since at the opening, I can feel that he disliked my presence and he's avoiding me but the shock in his eyes when he saw me gave me an inexplicable feeling that we are somehow connected to each other.
"Good evening Ms. Fuentes." I made a courtesy as greetings and Ms. Fuentes clapped her hands to dismiss the remaining maids before turning her attention to us.
"It's nice to see you again iha." Ms. Fuentes accepted me with open arms and gave me a beso. Since it's still early to have dinner, Ms. Fuentes decided to give us time to tour the mansion, and obviously, I need to stick to Jacob the whole time whether I like it or not since it's my first time in his place. In fact, he's still holding my hand even though it's not necessary since no one was watching us. I tried to let go but he held my hand tighter instead, so I just let him be.
Malawak ang espasyo ng mansion nila at aaminin kong mas malaki ang mansion nila kompara sa amin. Jacob was talking a lot, but I was not paying attention. My mind was flying somewhere else, thinking of someone. I keep on nodding as if I was listening to what he was saying not until he appeared in front of me in a pavilion full of fireflies and around us were colorful flowers.
"Alam mo bang hanggang ngayon, ikaw pa rin ang naiisip ko gabi-gabi?" Kung may iniinom man ako ngayon ay baka nasamid na ako dahil sa sinabi niya.
"Iniisip ko kung ayos ka lang, kung inaalagaan mo ba ang sarili mo, if you're healthy." Once again, I was curious, and I want to know the answers to all the whys in my mind. Maingat niya akong pinaupo sa bench ng pavilion at tumabi sa akin para pagmasdan ang mga alitaptap.
Ngayon ko rin nalaman na medyo malayo-layo na rin ang nilakad namin mula sa main mansion. I blinked twice before meeting his lonely eyes again waiting for him to say more but he didn't.
"Bakit? Bakit mo pa ba ako iniisip?" I curled my toes on the ground when he intertwined our fingers and locked it carefully as if he never wants me to go away. Napatingin ako dun at hindi ko na mabilang ang ilang beses na pagkirot ng aking dibdib sa tuwing kasama ko siya. Nagulat ako nang hawakan niya ang aking pisngi saka inangat ang aking mukha, tinatantya kung gaano kalalim ang napapakiramdaman ng aking mga mata. Hindi ko mawari pero sa tuwing nagtatagpo ang aming mga mata, alam kong nasasaktan siya at nasasaktan rin ako.
"Wala akong ibang dahilan. Sadyang mahal lang talaga kita." He smiled painfully and leaned his forehead against mine. I felt his hand cupping my neck then slowly, I felt his warm tears pricking my cheeks. The boulder that caused pain inside me is not just an ordinary heartache anymore. I became numb as his tears melted me and now my heartache... became a remorseful grimace consuming me. I want to run away from him but this time, I became attenuated. He fumbled in his pocket a small brown envelope and opened my hand to place the letter on my palm.
"Here's the letter I want to give you ever since you came back but I don't have the courage." Nagdadalawang-isip akong buksan ang sulat, natatakot na malaman ko ano ang laman nito. He stood and left me in the pavilion to give me time to read the letter and after my brain cells battled for a short period of time, I closed my eyes and exhaled forcefully before opening the envelop and get the letter. I stopped when the familiar handwriting greeted me.
It's...
Kuya Zion.
Dear Jacob,
Bro! Pasensya na kung hindi na ko nakapagpaalam ng personal at ito nalang ang iniwan ko sayo. Alam kong mahal na mahal mo si Jessica dahil wala kang ibang bukambibig araw-araw kundi siya. Alam ko ring labis ang pagsisisi mo noong makita mo siyang nahihirapan dahil sa isang pagkakamaling matagal mo ring nilihim sa akin. Akala ko best bro mo ko at wala kang isisikreto sa akin pero nagkamali ako. Bilang pinsan at Kuya mo, patawarin mo ko kung nasaktan kita nang malaman ko ang kagaguhan mo. Bro, hindi ko sinasadya yun.
Nahihirapan rin akong makita kang unti-unting nawawala sa sarili dahil habang dumadaan ang mga buwan ay magiging ama ka na. Gusto kong mapabuti ka, gusto kong tulongan ka pero kailangan kong gawin 'to. Kung anuman ang kahihinatnan ng pag-alis ko, gusto kong ibigay mo sa mahal mo ang parteng kailangan niya para mabuhay at para sa inyung muling pagkikita. At ang huling payo ko, gawin mo ang lahat para sa mahal mo.
~Zion
Kasama ng sulat ay isa pang nakatuping papel na minadali kong buksan at sa hindi inaasahan, napatakip ako sa bibig nang mabasa ang laman nito. It's an organ donation form that Kuya Zion signed 3 years ago. Nabitawan ko ang sulat kasama ang envelop sa sahig at hindi ko na mapigilan ang umaagos na tubig na mula sa aking mga mata na parang ilog na rumaragasa. I covered my eyes in frustration and silently screamed in my head. Jacob was telling the truth... pero bakit ngayon ko pa 'to nalaman kung kailan naisagawa ko na ang paghihiganti ko.
Bakit ngayon lang?
Bakit kailangang humatong sa ganito?
Bakit kailangang mangyari ang lahat ng ‘to?
These corneas were from Jacob's cousin, from Kuya Zion.