"It's nice to see you again, Miss Hancock." I looked at the person who's smiling widely at me.
     "Not same as yours, Miss Sanchez." Walang gana kong sagot dito.
I know that she's flirting with me. Ilang beses lang naman kaming nagkita sa isang business conference pero para na siyang linta, dikit ng dikit sa akin. She was become my stalker for almost a month. She's always sending me flowers, chocolates and even a love letter. But all of those things that she gave me, I threw it in the trash can.
     "Ang init naman ng ulo mo, umagang-umaga."
She came closer to me. Hindi ako gumalaw sa kinauupuan ko. I don't care about her presence. I'm used to it anyway. Pero hindi ko inaasahan na hahawakan niya ako kaya tumaas ang balahibo ko nung himasin niya ang braso ko. And that gives me a reason to hate her. Damn! Nakakakilabot siya. Ang ayaw ko sa lahat ang hinahawakan ako ng iba.
     "Stop doing that, Sanchez." I spoke so low but coldly.
     "Why Zamara, don't you like it?" She asked me flirtatiously.
She whispered in my ears. Napalayo ako bigla sa kanya. I looked at her with anger flashed in my eyes. I'm mad. Who was she to dare touch me? Damn this woman!
     "Stop flirting with me, Sanchez because I don't have time with you. I'm here to attend a meeting, not to flirt with you. So back off."
I walked away from her baka hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili kong masaktan siya. And I don't want to happen that inside of Mr. Alexander's territory. Ayaw kong mapahiya sa harap niya.
I glanced quickly at my watch. I still have twenty minutes to go around in this building. I've been one of a shareholders in M&A Corporation just last year. I already met the head of M&A Corp, which is Mr. Raymond Alexander.
He's the uncle of Robin. It wasn't a coincidence that I have a share in this company. I really want to be part of M&A Corp. because I want to see her again. Pero isang taon na ang nakakalipas at wala pa rin akong nakikitang Robin, kahit ni anino niya sa building na 'to. But I didn't pulled out my shares in this company because it's nice to be part of M&A Corporation. Maganda maging ka-business partner ang M&A Corp. especially that they are the second largest companies in the world.
Who wouldn't believed that Robin is not just a simple woman whom a good older sister in her three siblings, an owner of a famous restaurant and a student whom always perfect in her exam. But a multi-billionaire. A heiress of M&A Corporation. Or let's say that it's more than what I thought. Who knows?
But for me, she's still the woman that I loved the most. The woman that I lost. The woman that I still loved until now. The woman that I've been waiting for to come back in my life.
     "Miss Hancock."
Bumaling ang tingin ko sa taong tumawag sa akin. I saw Mr. Cruz walking towards me.
      "What do you want from me Mr. Cruz?" I asked.
      "Miss Hancock, you can't attend a meeting here. You have to go---"
I didn't let finished his words.
      "My team know what I expect of them. They can do without me for a few days, and I'll keep in touch. If that's what you worried about, Mr. Cruz." I said frankly.
He was silent for a moment. He's a head of my team but he has no confidence in his team na ako mismo ang nagbuo nun.
     "But Miss--"
     "I could call my secretary and tell her I'll be a while coming home," I said fiercely. "So now, leave."
------
I already here inside the conference room, we were all waiting for the person who summoned us today's assembly. Lahat ng nandito sa loob ay mga sikat at matagumpay na businessman sa bansa.
      "Hi. It's you, Zamara Boa Hancock. The CEO of Hancock Corporation. Finally, I already meet you in person."
I raised my eyebrow on this man. Nakalahad ang kamay niya sa harapan ko. Who is he? Napansin naman niyang wala akong balak na makipagkamay sa kanya kaya binaba niya ulit. He's young. Same age of mine, I think.
      "Oh sorry, yeah. My bad." He's laughing. Wierd. "I'm Jason Fuentes. I can't believe it, my dream girl is in front of me now." What the heck did he say? "You're really beautiful." And now, he's fucking creepy.
     "Leave me alone, whoever you are. I'm not interested with you." I said coldly.
Bumaling ang tingin ko sa harapan but this boy is persistent as fuck. Nasa harapan ko na naman siya.
     "Can I get your number, please?" He pleaded.
Nasusuka ako sa pagpapa-cute nito sa akin. Damn with this people! What's wrong with their brain? Hindi marunong umitindi.
     "If I said, leave me alone. Leave me alone, you dimwit." I harshly said.
Bigla namang lumukot ang mukha niya dahil sa tinawag ko sa kanya. At wala akong pakialam.
      "You'll be mine soon, Zamara. Remember that." He said angrily before I saw him smirked.
Hindi ko alam kung matatakot ba ako o mapapailing nalang sa naging banta niya. He didn't know me at all. He should never messed up with me. I'm not Zamara Boa Hancock for nothing.
Napaayos ako ng upo nang makitang pumasok ang taong hinihintay namin. He's arrived on time, exactly. He never gets late or never arrives first. Mr. Alexander always on time.
      "Good morning. I'm glad to see you all gathered in here again." He said in authoritative tone. "But I didn't summoned all of you right here in just a simple meeting," he paused significantly. "But to introduce the heiress of M&A Corporation. She's here, will wait until she came before we start this meeting."
My heart was racing. Siya na ba? Makikita ko na ba muli ang babaeng hinintay ko ng tatlong taon. I'm glad that she's back.
Minutes have passed when someone opened the door with force dahilan para mapatingin kami sa pinto and I almost take my breath away because of her.
I.. Is this for r-real? She's here! Hindi naman ako namamalik-mata diba? She's here, inside this room. Oh my God! She's real. Hindi ko maitago ang ngiti sa labi ko dahil nasilayan kong muli ang babaeng matagal ko ng hinintay na magbalik.
      "You know her?" I didn't glanced the person beside me.
I can't take away my eyes from the person who's breathtakingly beautiful walking in front. Like she doesn't care about those stares from those people inside this room. And I was like a possessive girlfriend when I heard someone admiring her.
      "She's breathtakingly gorgeous. A real definition of a goddess. I felt like I fell for her when I saw the beauty she had. Who is she?"
Nagpintig ang tenga ko dun. I looked at the person beside me. I know I don't have a right to become a possessive one when it comes to her but I can't let this guy admired my woman. She's mine. She will, sooner.
I don't know him, who is this monkey beside me?
      "Excuse me?"
I can't hide my irritation towards this man.
      "Yes?"
Hirap na hirap pa siyang lumingon sa akin dahil parang wala siyang balak na tanggalin ang mga mata nito sa babaeng nasa harapan na ngayon.
       "What did you say?" I asked quietly.
I don't want to get their attention on us. Pagsasabihan ko lang ang walang modong lalaking ito.
      "I'm sorry?" He asked me, curiosity written in his face.
My tongue twisted. I raised my eyebrow and looked at him blankly.
      "Don't try to flirt with her or come near at her, if you don't want me to ruin your life." I said, in a deadly cold voice.
I threatened him, I can clearly see that his buying it. And if he didn't do what I said, I would do what I said. Hancock is my last name, never messed up with a Hancock.
Bumaling ang tingin ko sa harap and then she finally turned her way, and for a moment our glanced locked.
It was just a seconds but I felt that I was overwhelmed just by her glanced. Damn! She's more beautiful now. But the light died from her eyes. Wala na akong mababakas na emosyon sa mga mata nito.
      "Good morning ladies and gentlemen. I want all of you to meet the heiress of M&A Corporation. Please give around of applause to Miss Nico Robin Jane Maureal Alexander."
Hindi ako kumibo sa tabi ko. I was just looking at her intently, with an admiration in my eyes. Ang laki ng pinagbago niya.
      "Thank you. Thank you for the warmed welcomed. Please be seated and let's start the meeting."
Both her eyes and her voice were cold. Titig na titig ako sa mga kilos niya. I can't take away my eyes from her mesmerizing beauty, and her graceful posture.
      "Miss Sanchez, you can start now."
     "G-Good morning ladies and gentlemen. Good morning Miss A-Alexander." I can see how blankly her face while looking at Sanchez. "This is what I'm trying to add to M&A cosmetics..."
Wala sa meeting ang isip ko ngayon kundi sa babaeng walang ganang makinig sa sinasabi ng taong nagsasalita. I don't know if she knows that I was looking at her or she really doesn't care about me, looking at her entirely.
     "Stop!"
My mouth was agape at the suddenly rose of Robin's voice. As it had been when she told Miss Sanchez to stop from talking.
     "Why Miss Alexander? Her presentation is good for the M&A Cosmetics. New products are more attractive to the eyes of the people."
      "What Mr. Alfonso said is true, Miss Alexander."
Nagbago bigla ang ekspresyon niya. I saw one emotion in her eyes, anger. And she closed her eyes just to hold her anger.
I took a deep breath, trying to find the courage within myself to speak. "Miss Alexander, I think they're right."
Nagwagi ako sa kaloob-looban ko dahil hindi ako nautal sa pagsasalita.
      "Thank you, Zamara--- I mean Miss Hancock that you're in my side, too."
Napaismid ako sa narinig ko mula kay Sanchez. Ni hindi ko nga alam na nandito pala siya sa tabi ko. And I'm not in her side. I was trying to help what's good for the company. New products can truly attract to the people.
      "Enough of that," I could see the fury in her eyes. "I know your kind. Many people trying to impressed me that they're smart, wise and a competitive person but they're not. Those people was just like you. Talk about charm! The trouble was, charm was all they had--- unless you include a genius for spending other people's money."
I was speechless.
      "Wha---" Miss Sanchez trying to complained her side to Robin. But I didn't give it a damn. My focus and attention is on the woman in front.
      "Am I being unreasonable?" She asked these people inside, suspiciously. "Am I against you just beacuse other people are for you? I know I'm a bit contrary. At least, folk claim that I am. They say I'm difficult, stubborn, an evil --- and that's just what judgemental people talking. But I've got a good life. I have a career that gives me all I want, and I'm immune to those people who are trying to be smart, intelligent--- well, sort of immune. Most of the time. You do nothing for me. Nothing at all. You can pulled out all your shares IN MY COMPANY, you useless creature."
I faltered. For a moment I had glimpsed the fierce will inside her, and it had almost frightened me. She changed a lot. My face softened because I know I'm the one who've caused that.
      "Yes, you're being unreasonable Miss Alexander. Everyone is on my side---"
      "Oh well, perks of having a lots of money," she said, impenitently. "But money is not the issue in here, because as far as I know I AM THE BOSS here, I think you forgot about that Miss Sanchez. Now, step out of this room before I'll call the security to drag you outside. Choose."
Once again, I was speechless. Hindi ko akalain na naging ganito na siya kalamig. Walang pakialam sa nararamdaman ng iba. Pero galit ako sa sarili ko dahil ako ang may gawa nyan sa kanya. It was me who turned her into a heartless woman.
Lumapit sa kanya si Mr. Alexander. Kumunot ang noo ko kung bakit nagbaba ng ulo si Robin. Is she sick? Have a headache? Because she's massaging her temple.
      "The meeting is adjourned."
I gasped when I heard the monotone voice from Mr. Alexander. Telling those people that they must've listened to him. Nagsilabasan ang mga tao na nandito. I stood up and I saw a guy in front of me, blocking my way.
My forehead creased because of this man. "Step aside." I hissed.
      "Where are you going, Miss Hancock?" He asked me.
The hell he care?!
      "Step aside or I'll kick your manhood. Choose wisely." I drew back, looking at him coldly.
Tumabi naman ito sa daraanan ko. Naglakad ako ng mabagal papunta sa kinaroroonan ng babaeng nakayuko ngayon. I was looking at her intently. Akala ko nagbago na ang lahat sa kanya pero hindi pala lahat. I can clearly see that she's still my girl that I loved.
Dahan-dahan ang pag-angat ng ulo niya at mukhang nabigla siya nang makita ako sa harapan niya. Ghad! I've missed her so much. Ang tagal kong hinintay na makita siyang muli at hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala na nandito na siya sa aking harapan. All my emotions for these past three years that I hid is all coming back when I met those hazel brown eyes of her.
      "Can I talk to you, Robin?" I asked, contritely.
Blangko ang mga mata nitong nakatingin sa akin.
      "Miss Hancock, why are you still here?"
I didn't glanced at Mr. Alexander beside me. Ayaw kong ibaling ang tingin ko sa iba or kahit saan baka kapag nalingat ako sandali, mawawala ulit sa akin ang babaeng matagal kong hinintay na bumalik.
      "I'm sorry Mr. Alexander but I want to talk to Miss Alexander in private if you will allow me."
I need to asked Mr. Alexander's permission because he's Uncle of Robin. But I did not take away my eyes on the girl in front of me.
     "I---"
She cut the words of Mr. Alexander. And looked at me with no emotions that I can see in those hazel brown eyes.
     "I'm sorry Miss? Hancock, right?" I curiously looked at her. "Miss Hancock it is. I'm sorry but I have something important to discussed with my Uncle, so if you'll excuse us."
I was speechless what she just did. I've felt that my world was falling apart when she looked at me blankly or she treated me like she doesn't know me.
Naiwan akong mag-isa rito sa loob. Nakatayo pa rin at hinihintay na bumalik siya. Or baka may babalikan siya dahil may naiwan. Umasa akong babalik siya, pero ilang minuto rin akong naghintay at walang Robin na pumasok sa kwartong ito. Alam kong ayaw niya akong makita pa. What should I do? Followed her and force her to talked to me. I can't do such a thing like that. Baka habang-buhay na niya akong hindi kakausapin.
Bakit ngayon pa? Bakit ngayon pa naging blangko ang isip ko? Argh!
Naglakad ako at nilisan ang kwartong iyon. I have to talk to her. Kung hindi ko yun magagawa ngayon, baka tuluyan na siyang mawala sa akin.
I asked one of the employee who's working in this floor if where is the CEO's office? Tinuro nila ito. Nadaanan ko pa ang opisina ni Mr. Alexander pero pinagsawalang-bahala ko muna ito. I need to see her, and talk to her.
Nang makita ko ang office na sinabi sa akin nung employee ay napahinto ako. My heart was racing, once again. Gusto kong umurong, bumalik sa pinanggalingan ko at maglakad papalayo sa pintong ito pero hindi ko na maigalaw ang mga paa ko. Because there's a girl in front of me who's looking at me coldly. Can't see any emotions in those eyes.
I'm starting sweating. Para akong sinistensyahan ng kamatayan sa harapan niya ngayon.
      "What are you doing here," she asked, in a deadly cold voice. "Miss Hancock?"
Shit! Where's my voice? Wala akong mahanap na salita sa bibig ko.
     "I don't want to repeat myself once again." She asked me, wryly.
     "I...I-I..ahm." I paused. I'm fucking trembling. "I-I want to t-talk to you R-Ro--- I mean M-Miss A-A-Alexander."
     "What for Miss Hancock?"
     "A-About us." I murmured.
She laughed. "About us? You're joking, aren't you?" She growled. "Funny."
      "R-Robin.. p-please talk to me." I was sounding so desperate.
Yes I am, just to have a time with her. I have to talk to her and tell how truly sorry I am for being a jerk, a cheater and an idiot for fooling her and letting her go.
      "Okay, if that's what you want. Follow me." She said sternly.
She turned her back on me and started walking. I followed her until we reached to the rooftop.
It was a moment of silence before I heard her talk.
      "So, what lies you want to tell me this time?" She asked pointedly.
I smiled faintly and shook my head.
     "T-That's not true, Robin--"
     "It's Miss Alexander for you."
     "M-Miss Alexander, listen to me please. I've never meant to hurt you, cheating on you. That was a mistake. I was fooled too----"
     "I would never make a lame excuses to cheat," she interrupted me. "Does being a person, like you, gives you the right to hurt me by cheating on me? If that's how you think, maybe you're still a girl who wasn't ready for a serious relationship. If ever times come when I fail and cheat on you, then I don't deserve a woman like you. An imperfect being destined to failed many times. But regardless, I would never tolerate myself to cheat on my partner because I can't do such a thing like that to hurt the love of my life."
I'd been prepared for this pain, but not for her rage and scorn. I trailed off, not sure what I'd hoped for, but ready to accept her rage that would make her satisfied and let her emotions taken over her. Kahit saktan, sampalin at suntukin pa niya ako just to ease those pain that I've been caused her three years ago.
      "I truly love you, Robin. I love you more than I love myself."
She laughed bitterly. "How can you say you love me when you are not willing to give your loyalty with me? True love is selfless and sacrificial. And there is nothing selfless and sacrificial about cheating on me." Nakita ko muli ang mga emosyon sa mga mata niya. "Love isn't supposed to hurt. If it does, then it is absolutely not a true love."
The wind was knocked out of me. I couldn't stand to see her being like this, because I knew I was the one who did that to her. Love isn't just about the emotions I'm feeling. It's about what Robin means to me.
I've missed you. Gustong-gusto kong banggitin ang mga salitang iyan sa kanya pero I'm fucking coward. Ayaw kong dagdagan ang sakit at poot na nararamdaman niya para sa akin.
But...
I'm not sure I'm ready to put this into words but I know if I don't try, I'll continue regretting not putting into words what needs to be said. So, at least at the end of this, no matter how it ends, I can at least say I tried.
I forced myself to say.
      "I.. I-In this past years without you in my life, I've learned a lot. When I love or care about someone, I let my entire world revolve around them. And I've learned about how jerk I was when I cheated to the person I truly loved." I said, tortured by this scene, unable to endure more. I paused as I came to something that was hard to say. "T-That's what I did with you. You came into my life at a time when I wasn't ready for anyone, pero nahulog ako sa 'yo. Your unique personality, your incredible way with words, your delectable charm - it all seemed too good to be true. I didn't take the time to figure out what I wanted and what I needed from someone - from you."
But damn! I made a mistake that I've never thought na kaya kong gawin 'yun sa kanya, sa taong minahal ko ng sobra. But most of all, I just want her. All of her. But in the end, I am the reason why we were in pain and I could do nothing to get it back as before because the damage has been done. I can only hope that she will come back in me, in my life.
My answer roused her anger again.
      "I'm going to be honest with you," she said, ceasing abruptly. "Galit na galit pa rin ako sa ginawa mo sa akin. I thought, damn, three years Zamara I thought I was over with you but I'll never forget what you've did to me." She paused. "I invite you into my life, my heart, my family. That is all very special, and not everyone I meet is entitled to those things. I've given you almost everything and in return, you were fucking cheating on me."
I was shocked to see her crying. Pinaiyak ko na naman siya ulit. Ang laki-laki na ng kasalanan ko sa kanya at hindi ko na alam kung paano pa ako makakabawi.
This is something I've been dealing with for a long time because honestly, it hurts too much. I'm holding on because I hope things will change, but I can't change how things happened to us. I can't change the fact that I've hurt her, and I can't change the fact that I cheated on her.
Hurting her will have lasting effects on me. I make one bad judgment and it never goes away. I'm feeling unworthy of love since she doesn't love me anymore. Because I know she's protecting herself from being hurt by me, further. Ang sakit isipin na nawala na nang tuluyan ang taong minahal ko. And I'm responsible for placing myself in this position.
Seem harsh? It feels cruel to me, but it is a harsh reality. Sin is sin, lies are lies, and mistakes are mistakes. No one is perfect. We have all lied, been unreliable or responsible for disappointing someone in our life, especially those we love the most.
      "You are one of the most important person in my life. But, I only have one life, why spend it with someone who doesn't make me feel like the most important person in their world?" She said, tears streaming down her face.
Ang mga salita nito ay parang kutsilyo na sinasaksak ako ng paulit-ulit sa dibdib. I can't find my voice. I can't even talked or moved. It was hurt like hell. I felt my value decreased the moment she didn't want me.
My heart ached as I watched her walked away from me. I discovered that it wasn't easy for her to forget what I did, my whole body tense, shaking. I wanted to reach out and touch her, but she wasn't here in front of me. She would never come back, and the tears were pouring down my face.
This will be something I never quite get over. I'm going to feel heartbroken-like a failure, I'm stupid and foolish because I let those bad things happened to us. But, life sucks sometimes. The most I can do is embrace the heartache and hold onto my pride which I have slowly been losing with these past three years.
I love her. I've never cared about anyone as much as I do for her. I would do almost anything for her-anything she ask of me. But staying away from her is not going to happen, I'll never do that. Dahil ayaw kong mawala siya nang tuluyan sa akin. Hindi ko na kakayanin pa.
And that's the sickest thing, ang sumuko ako sa kanya. Hindi ako papayag na mangyari ang bagay na iyon. Even though she will be angry and upset and yell and kick and scream at me, but never will I let her go. I can't. And that, above all else, makes me the most pathetic person I've ever known.
Kasalanan ko naman lahat-lahat kung bakit siya lumayo sa akin. Kasalanan ko kung bakit siya nasasaktan pa rin hanggang ngayon. Magpapakamartir na ako para lang makuha ko ulit siya. Hindi ako mapapagod sa kanya dahil mahal na mahal ko siya.