"Hihintayin kita."
Zillian determinedly stated and leaned against the wall outside the dance studio.
Seems like I can no longer stop him from doing what he wants. Kanina pa siya!
I stomped my feet on the ground and put my right hand on my waist. I sighed in irritation and looked daggers at him. He just bit his lower lip and tried to hide his smile. Parang walang epekto sa kaniya ang matalim kong tingin.
"I already told you, right? We'll finish late, you'll get tired of waiting here!" My voice raised that made other students looked at our direction. I just ignored them and faced Zillian again.
His expression changed. His eyes became serious, there's no more hint of teasing on it. "I'll never get tired of waiting for you." He slightly bent down to lever our gaze with each other.
Halos maduling na ako dahil sa lapit ng mukha namin sa isa't-isa. Our faces were just mere inches away from each other. I lifted up my palm and pushed his face away from mine.
"Umalis ka na." Mahinang pilit ko uli at tinulak ang balikat niya.
He shook his head repeatedly and licked his lips. "Paano ka mamaya pagkatapos ng practice niyo?" He worriedly asked.
Seriously, why is he acting like I'm a child?
I gave him an obvious look and rolled my eyes eventually. I stepped backwards until I'm already at the doorway of the dance studio.
"I can handle myself. Susunduin din naman ako ng driver namin."
He stared at me for a long time with hesitation until he puffed out a loud breath. "I'll just see you tomorrow then."
Parang mabigat pa ang kalooban niya noong tumalikod siya at dahan-dahang naglakad. Bagsak ang balikat at mabagal ang bawat hakbang. Mukha siyang batang inapi.
We've been arguing since earlier because of his stubbornness! He wanted to wait for me until our practice was over. This is already our second day practicing for the event. Yesterday, I let him wait but when I finally stepped outside, I saw him on the floor sitting. He fell asleep. He was also tired because he had a lot to take care of because he was the class president. I don't wanna put another burden to him.
"One two, three four, five six---" Mel, our vice president, suddenly stopped dancing. Sinusundan lang namin ang steps ng sasayawin namin.
She left her spot and walked towards one of the members of our club. Iginiya niya ito kung paano ang gagawin sa kamay niya at tinuruan ng iba pang steps.
While waiting for them to finish, I just practiced the steps on my own. The others sat on the floor and watched Mel teaching the other member.
Kanina pa kasi nagkakamali 'yung member na iyon kaya paulit-ulit lang din siyang tinuturuan nina Tyra at Mel. Though, they didn't show irritation on their expressions. They're both patient towards us. Parehas silang mabait.
Tyra clapped her hands three times, catching our attentions. "Break muna for five minutes!" She announced and hurriedly sat down on the wooden floor.
The other members shouted cheerfully. We're all exhausted.
I silently walked towards the corner of the studio to get my hydro flask inside my backpack. I brought this 'cause I know I would be thirsty while practicing. Hindi ko rin kaya kapag wala akong tubig. My lips are always dry.
I opened my hydro flask and drank on it. Naubos na ito kaya naman ibinalik ko na sa loob ang aking bag. I untied my hair and combed it using my fingers. I just let it down until our practice finished.
I directly went to the powder room to change my clothes. I was just wearing a sweatpants and a white shirt. Nagpalit din kasi ako bago magsimula ang practice. I know I would sweat a lot. Pangit namang tingnan kung school uniform ang suot ko habang nagpapractice, hindi ba?
I hung the straps of my backpack on my shoulders. I silently walked on the corridor while holding a paper bag on my other hand. Inside of it were the clothes I had taken off. It doesn't fit in my bag anymore.
I can't help but to noticed the surroundings while crossing the path that will lead me out of the university. Napakatahimik na rito, halos wala ng mga tao bukod sa mga teachers at admins. The sun is about to set as well. The skies were filled of orange colors with a touch of the color of the blood.
My arms automatically wrapped around myself when the wind blew hardly.
Nakasabay ko pa ang ibang mga kasama ko sa dance club. They burst out laughing while happily talking to each other about how their whole day went.
One of them instantaneously gazed at my direction.
"Uy, Freinne!" The girl greeted me. She has a shoulder length hair and she's also pretty.
I was shocked because I didn't expect her to know my name. All of us new members introduced ourselves to them the other day but still... I didn't expect someone to remember me. I was just silent and didn't bother to socialize with them.
"Why?" My voice turned out to be sluggish, maybe because I'm already exhausted.
"Saan ka dadaan? Gusto mo sabay ka na sa amin?" Magiliw niyang tanong at ngumiti pa.
I looked at her friends behind her. They seem to be bored because their friend was still talking to me.
"Ah, no." I immediately refused her invitation.
"Let's just go. Why do you even want her to go with us?" A girl with fierce look irritatingly asked her.
"Right. Suplada naman 'yan, e'." The last girl interfered.
The girl with shoulder length hair didn't able to do anything when her friends dragged her away from me. I was left here alone, still standing.
It's better that they think of me that way. I don't want to be attach to other people as well. I don't easily trust anyone.
When I got home, I decided to go directly to my room. I was just about to open the door when Maggie came out of her room. She rolled her eyes at me.
"So, why did you go home at this hour? It's late." Curiosity was evident in her voice. She even checked the wall clock near our paintings.
She arched one of her brows and crossed her arms over her chest. I don't get why she's still talking to me. Lagi lang naman siyang nagmamaldita.
"Why do you even care?" I calmly asked her back and coldly looked straight into her eyes.
She chuckled in disbelief. "Me?" She pointed herself and shook her head. "Caring for you? As if it will happen."
I got irritated somehow. "Then why are you questioning me?" Imbis na nagpapahinga na ako ngayon, nang-aabala pa siya.
"I'm just curious. Kahapon, ganitong oras ka rin umuwi. Hmm, where are you going after your class, huh? To your boyfriend? Gumagala ka pa? I should probably tell it to Mom." Pagsususpetsa niya pa sa akin. Nang-aasar pa ang tono ng boses.
"Yeah, go ahead." I don't wanna argue with her anymore. The last thing I would want to do right now is to lay on my bed and doze off to sleep.
I turned my back on her. Pinipihit ko na ang doorknob noong hinablot ni Maggie ang braso ko. Her nails dug on my arm. Nakalmot niya pa ako. I felt a sting on my arm. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko noong may makita akong kaunting dugo. My heart pounded violently as I stared at it before eyeing her again.
Maggie just smirked while looking at what she did to me. Mukhang nasisiyahan pa talaga siya.
I just calmed myself and finally went inside of my room. I went to my bathroom to wash my arms. I don't wanna have a fight with her because I know it wouldn't do any good. But ... I don't want to be in this house anymore. It was suffocating. I prefer to stay in the school because there, I don't feel pain. I don't mind even though other students threw bad things towards me. But why in this household, the way they treat me, the hurtful things they say towards me always leaves scars deep inside my heart.
The next day, before we headed to the university, I told Kuya Danny to drive me to the cemetery. I need to visit my sister.
I sat on the bermuda grass and wiped off the tombstone of Iyah. Binunot ko rin ang mga damo sa palibot ng lapida dahil natatakpan na ang pangalan ng kapatid kong nakaukit doon.
"Iyah..." A long silence filled me right after I called her name. "Please, don't be jealous, okay?" Mahina akong tumawa sa sarili ko.
I decided to tell her something.
"Your sister found a new friend. But, hey! You're still my best friend. No one can replace you, but my new friend was really nice. He can make your ate laugh by his humorous jokes!" I exclaimed while remembering my happy moments with Zillian.
Damn that man. He really entered my life without even trying hard.
"I'm sorry, ngayon lang uli ako nakabisita. Ate became busy these past few days." I continued telling her, as if she will reply to me. As if I will hear her angelic voice again. As if... It will happen again.
"Babawi ako... Babalik din ako agad. I'll bring my friend with me and I'll introduce you to him." I promised her.
I guess, I'll just find a right time to bring Zillian with me.
"I love you, Iyah." I whispered into the thin air before going back to our van.
I really hate myself. I almost forgot to visit her. Nawala na sa isip ko ang pagbisita dahil nga marami na akong ginagawa. Unlike before, my routine was just to study all over again. I can't believe I almost forgot to make time for my sister.
"Magkakaroon kayo ng report by pair." Our History teacher announced out of nowhere.
Of course, others immediately complained.
"Kung sino ang seat mate ninyo, ayon ang kapareha niyo." The teacher left us and reminded us to prepare. He also assigned our topics. Kyle and I are the first pair to report tomorrow.
"Ito ba babasahin ko?" Kyle asked and smiled. Itinuro niya ang isang paragraph sa book niya.
"No." I shook my head. Lumapit ako nang bahagya sa kaniya upang maituro ang parte niya. "This is yours, then you're going to explain it once you're done reading it to the whole class."
He put his fingers on his lips and played with it. Mukha namang naintindihan niya na ang ipinaliwanag ko.
"Okay."
"Pag-aralan mo na 'yan." I commanded and shifted to my seat. I flipped the page of the book and studied the topic assigned to us.
"I still have a question." Kyle added that made me glance at him again. My brows shot up while asking what is it.
"Are you going to allow me to court you?" His face went closer to mine. He even caressed the strands of my hair so I instantly took his hand away from me.
Umusog din ako upang maiwasan ang mukha niya. "How many times do I have to tell you that it's forbidden and I don't want to?" I muttered, frustrated now.
He was always bothering me, telling he would court me but I'm always rejecting him. He doesn't seem serious, though. I see him always with different women every other day. I don't want to have a suitor either.
"Oh, c'mon, Freinne. Don't be hard to get." He smirked and tried to touch me again.
I stood up before he could do that.
"I'm not being hard to get. I just don't like you." I hid my smile when he got caught off guard.
He wasn't able to speak a thing. I guess, this is the first time someone told him that she doesn't like him.
I just headed to the library to continue studying our topic. When I went back to our room, I saw Kyle reading the book. Masama ang timpla ng mukha.
I stepped on his ego earlier, I guess. That's alright. Bagay lang sa kaniya para matigil na rin siya sa kakakulit sa 'kin.
The days passed quickly. Today is already the last day of our practice. Zillian and I were walking together to get to the dance studio. As usual, kinukulit niya na naman akong maghihintay raw siya.
I sighed in defeat. I nodded, a sign of agreement. "Oo na."
His lips formed an 'o' while his eyes were rounding like he couldn't believe what I just dictated.
He even threw a fist in the air. "Yes! I'll just stay here." He pointed at the wall of the studio. Nandito na pala kami.
Sa sobrang tuwa niya, napapalakpak pa siya na parang tanga lang.
"Diyan ka lang talaga. You're not allowed inside." I ran my fingers through my hair and fixed my slightly crumpled shirt.
"Bakit naman?" Para pa siyang nagdududa sa akin.
Matalim ko siyang tiningnan at namaywang. "You might distract us." Of course, that was a lie.
I was just the only one who will get distracted. What will I act if he was inside? I wouldn't be able to focus on the steps, I'm sure of that! Because I know he was watching me. What if he'll find it funny while I'm dancing? Malakas pa naman siyang mang-asar!
"They will get distracted because of my handsomeness." He proudly said and did a pose.
He put his left hand inside the pocket of his slacks while his other hand went to his nape. He gave me a serious expression. If I didn't know him, I would definitely think that he was a model. The way he stood up gave me an aura of a model.
"Whatever, Zillian." Kunwaring naiinis kong sabi kahit pa nakaramdam ako ng kaunting paghanga sa kaniya.
He ignored what I muttered. He displayed a wide smile on his lips and spread his arms. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to him. I could almost smell his manly perfume.
"Here, a good luck hug for you." He whispered.
Is it just me or his voice really became deeper? I just noticed it right now, maybe because we're always together that's why I didn't able to notice right away his voice becoming manlier.
"Why does he have to embrace me?" But it feels warm to be in his arms.
I cleared my throat and pushed him away. Hindi ako tumingin sa kaniya noong pumasok na ako ng studio.
I held my chest when Tyra and Mel showed up in front of me. They were both wearing a suspicious look that made me confused.
"Is that your boyfriend, Freinne?" Para pa siyang kinikilig noong ngumuso siya sa labas.
Even if I don't look outside, I already know who she was referring to.
Mel's hands went to my shoulders. Bahagya niya akong niyugyog habang nakangiti rin nang malapad. "That's also my question. I've seen you many times, you're always together!"
My eyes rounded. My face heated because of their assumptions! They're wrong!
"No! He's not my boyfriend. He's just my friend." I tried to reasoned out.
They got the wrong idea! Hell!
Do men and women can't really be friends without others thinking malice on them?
"Okay, sabi mo, e'. Pero bagay kayo." There's a ghost of playful smile on Tyra's lips.
"Pero papasukin mo, kawawa naman kung maghihintay sa labas." Sumulyap sa labas si Mel bago sila nagtungo sa may pinto upang kausapin si Zillian na tahimik lang doon habang kinakalikot ang camera niya.
I heard them inviting him to enter but to my surprise, Zillian politely refused. I thought he wanted to watch me?
When I finally went out of the studio, I found Zillian sitting on the floor. Nakataas ang mga tuhod at nakapatong doon ang siko. Nakayuko siya kaya't hindi ko malaman kung tulog na ba talaga siya.
I knelt to the ground and reached for his cheeks. I caressed it gently while examining his foreign features. I tapped his cheeks until his eyes slowly opened. We stared at each other until we both diverted our looks.
Hindi ko alam ngunit para akong nakaramdam ng kakaiba. Hindi ko maipaliwanag.
Seconds passed until I got a courage to eyed him again. He was just looking intently at me.
"T-they invited you to go inside. Why did you refuse, Zillian?" Why did I even stutter?! It's just him!
Umangat ang kamay niya upang haplusin ang tuktok ng ulo ko. "I know you wouldn't able to practice if I'm watching you so I just stayed here." He genuinely smiled and messed my hair.
"But it was full of mosquitoes here. You fell asleep." He pouted and just gave me a pleading expression.
"Let's go home. Kailangan mo nang magpahinga." Ayaw ko na siyang pagalitan dahil pagod na rin siya.
The next day was already our program. We went up on stage and did our formation. My heart was pounding loudly and violently right now. Ako pa ang nasa gitna!
A lot of students were cheering for our club. They're shouting the members' names. I haven't heard someone screaming for me. Well... Not until I heard him.
"Go, Freinne!" He winked at me that made me chuckle. Medyo gumaan na ang pakiramdam ko dahil sa kaniya.
The song we performed was 7/11 by Beyoncé. I was just dancing through the beat of the song and feeling it whole heartedly.
My ears almost deafen because of the applause of the students for us. I instantly went down and ran towards Zillian. He was at the side of the stage while holding a camera. I saw him taking photos and recording our dance earlier.
He spread his arms and wrapped it immediately around me. Ginantihan ko na lang din siya ng yakap dahil sa tuwa. Sa wakas ay natapos na rin kaming magperform. We really did our best. Good thing, I didn't make any mistake awhile ago.
He puffed a breath when he let go of me. "You just took my breath away while you were dancing earlier." He unbelievably muttered.
I showed him a smirk and avoided his gray eyes. Bumalik ang tingin ko sa kaniya dahil ramdam ko pa rin ang kaniyang titig.
"Take your eyes off me. Baka mahulog ka niyan." Biro ko at siniko ang kaniyang tagiliran.
Napakagat siya sa kaniyang labi niya at lalo pang natulala ngunit kalaunan ay nagsalita na rin siya.
"Sana nga hindi pa."
"Joke lang, Freinne!"
He finally came back to his senses and exclaimed that after a long minute of
silence.
He laughed, as if he was trying to tell me he was joking. What he said to me earlier had me completely baffled. I was just kidding him as well. That thought came to me out of nowhere, but I quickly cringed because of myself! What in the world am I thinking?
Bahagya akong tumingala sa kaniya dahil mas matangkad siya sa akin. I met his eyes. I looked at it for a moment, trying to figure out if he was telling me the truth.
I nodded my head repeatedly, convinced now since he didn't avoid my gaze. "I thought it was true." Parang nakahinga naman ako nang maluwag sa isiping hindi totoo ang kaniyang sinabi.
His chuckles had faded. A small grin crept into his lips. He lifted up his right hand and rested it above my head.