After ng mahabang discussion namin nila French‚ napagpasyahan kong mauna na sa kanila kasi nga ay may meeting pa raw kami ng family sa kung sinong taong hindi ko naman kilala‚ kung tao nga ba or sumshit. Kidding aside haha. Ayokong ma-late at baka ako na naman ang maging center of attention tapos magalit sa akin ang aking butihing pamilya. This day is not yet over but I’m drained already so ayoko na lang dagdagan ng sakit pa ang ulo ko later.
“Too early‚ huh. ” Kuya Thaniel approached me as soon as I entered our house.
“Yeah. Wala na rin naman na akong gagawin pa sa school kaya umuwi ako nang maaga para makapag-prepare pa‚ ” sagot ko na lamang sa kaniya.
“Better. Mom is waiting on you upstair. ” sabi niya at tumalikod na rin sa akin. Akala ko magkakaroon pa kami ng mahabang discussion. Him‚ speaking on behalf of my mistakes to shatter my defenses. Alright‚ this is a new chapter of throwing barbs to my lovely brother.
Umakyat naman na ako agad pagkaalis niya. Baka si mama naman ang maabutan kong naghihimutok sa galit. As I reached her room‚ I knocked 3 times before I entered it.
“Good afternoon‚ Mom. ” I said when I entered her room. Tinitigan niya lang ako at iminuwestra ang upuang katabi niya. What’s the matter?
“Pinapatawag mo raw ako. May rapat ba tayong pag-usapan? ” tanong ko sa kaniya.
“Nothing actually. I just have my secretary bought these dresses so you would look presentable later. Change your clothes and prepare yourself. We’ll wait for you downstair. ” wow‚ Thaniel told me a while ago that she’s waiting for me upstairs tapos ngayon iiwan niya naman pala ako rito ngayon at maghihintay naman siya sa baba. So what’s next?
Pagkaalis na pagkaalis ni mama ay namili na rin ako ng susuutin. A simple one could do. Hindi naman siguro kailangan bongga kasi mukhang hindi naman patungkol sa business ang dadaluhan naming hapag. More likely‚ it's one of my mother’s friends‚ kung sinoman siya or sila‚ ewan ko‚ bahala na later.
Matapos gumayak ay bumaba na rin ako. Ayaw na ayaw nilang pinaghihintay nang matagal. Naabutan ko sa baba ang masamang hangin‚ dejok lang hahaha. I mean‚ my dearest Cassandra sitting on our coach‚ mother checking her phone‚ more likely‚ reading a message from someone I don’t have any idea who might be. My lovely Thaniel irritably waiting on our main door‚ problema na ‘to? Nakakunot na naman noo niya. Yeah‚ one of the problematic peeps in this world.
“Buti naman naisipan mo pang bumaba‚ ” bungad sa akin ng aking butihing ate.
“Yeah nga eh‚ ” mapang-asar na sabi ko sa kaniya na sinabayan pa ng aking ngiti. She rolled her eyes on me showing how my gesture has an inverse effect on her.
“Let’s go‚ ” my brother said and lead the way. Sungit‚ pinaglihi siguro ni mama ang aking mga mapagmahal na kapatid sa sama ng loob.
I took the backseat of the car while silang dalawa ng aking napakabait na ate ang umupo sa harap. Mom used her own car while magkakasama kaming tatlo. Ideal fam‚ ‘di ba? Tss. Here’s an another chapter of sarcasm naman haha.
“How’s school? ” my sister asked me. Himala‚ anong nainom na potion na ‘to?
“Quite fine‚ ” nakangiti ko pa ring sagot.
“Stop smiling. Ang creepy‚ sobra. " sabi naman sa akin ng aking kuya. Yeah‚ whatever.
“You? How’s your med life? ” I asked my sister without throwing her my glance.
“Fine too. But yeah‚ getting busier and busier each day since graduating student ako. ”
“You might have it hard‚ ” sagot ko na lang sa kaniya at tumingin sa aking kuya. “And you? ”
“Cases as usual‚ ” walang gana niyang sagot.
Then the whole car broke into deafening silence. Tumingin na lamang ako sa labas ng bintana nitong sasakyan habang tinatanaw ang nagtataasang building sa labas. Been a while since nakasama ko sila sa iisang sasakyan and it's kinda weird‚ you know? Being with someone but still feel alone. Napakasaya kasi naming pamilya. Alam mo yun‚ malayang-malaya. Kung tutuusin‚ wala na nga kaming pakialam sa buhay ng isa’t isa.
After almost an hour na byahe‚ nakarating na rin kami sa aming destinasyon. Not that extravagant restaurant‚ but yeah‚ kinda fancy the first time you look at it. Parang mga pang-middle class chuchu. Bumaba na ako agad ng sasakyan. Kung hihintayin kong pagbuksan ako ng pinto ni kuya‚ para akong naghihintay ng shooting star sa kasagsagan ng umaga. Well‚ possible but not visible.
Naunang maglakad sa amin si kuya habang sabay naman kami ni ate sa kaniyang likuran. Naabutan namin si mama’ng nakaupo sa mahabang silya habang nakikipag-usap sa isang pamilyar na tao.
“T-tita Yvette? ” sabi ko ng makarating na kami sa tabi nila mismo.
“You must be Ashterielle. Ang laki mo na‚ ” sabi niya at niyakap ako ng mahigpit. Darn‚ I miss this warm hug from her. “Been a while. I’m missing you so much. ” sabi niya nang humiwalay siya sa pagkakayakap sa akin.
“Opo nga po eh. Huling kita natin ay noon—” naputol ang aking sasabihin nang may naaninagan akong papalapit sa aming pwesto.
“Keanu? ” bulong ko sa aking sarili.
“Oh‚ anak‚ nandiyan ka na pala. Take your seat dali. ” sabi ni tita at hinila ang kaharap kong silya.
“Sorry‚ I’m late. Galing pa akong group meeting eh. ” he said then kiss his mother’s cheek and look at each of us. From ate to mother then kuya‚ and me.
“You’ve grown beautiful‚ ” he said as our eyes met. I raised my brows at him. Kadiri haha. Maganda raw‚ eh maganda na rin yata ang hanap ko ngayon. Kidding‚ I just don't like compliments.
“Ash‚ this is Keian‚ Keanu’s older brother. ” Pagpapakilala sa akin ni tita sa kaniyang anak. May kuya pala si Kean. All this time‚ akala ko unico ijo siya ng pamilyang Ellis.
“It’s my pleasure to meet you‚ Sir. ” sabi ko at nakipag-kamay sa kaniya.
“Nice to see you in person too. I didn’t got the chance of being there on my brother’s funeral and able to see you but yeah‚ glad to meet you now. ” sabi niya at ngumiti. Those smiles on his eyes‚ kuhang-kuha ni Keanu.
“Galing siya sa States kasama ng aking mga magulang kaya hindi na niya nagawang makauwi pa noon. Busy sa school eh. As much as he wanted to but his study was holding him back then‚ ” sabi naman ni tita. Ahh that’s answered kung bakit hindi ko siya kilala. Quite sad na hindi niya nagawang samahan ang kapatid niya sa huling sandali ng buhay nito. Pero nakapagtataka lamang‚ impossibleng hindi niya man lang nadalaw ang kapatid niya sa ilang taong pamamalagi nun sa hospital o baka nakalimutan or nakaligtaan ko lamang.
“Ahh okay‚ ” sagot ko na lamang at itanango ang aking ulo. Umupo na rin ako at gayon din naman ang kaniyang ginawa.
“Anyway‚ Yvette‚ this is Cassandra‚ pangalawa ko‚ then here’s Thaniel‚ ang aking panganay. ” pakilala ni mama sa dalawa ko pang napakabait na mga kapatid.
“Nice to fin'lly meet the Sayco’s offsprings. " malawak ang ngiti na sabi ni tita at tinitigan kami isa-isa.
“Ikaw ba‚ sis. Hindi na ba nasundan pa si Keanu? ” natatawang biro ni mama kay tita.
“Naku! May edad na ako para magkaanak pa. Maghihintay na lang akong bigyan ng apo nitong si Kei. ”
“Mom‚ I’m only 21‚ ” kakamot-kamot sa ulong sabi ni Keian. Should I call him kuya since he’s 3 or 4 years older than me? I don't know‚ he might be turning 22 this year so it’s in between 3 or 4 gaps.
“Ikaw naman‚ Kei. Ang bilis kaya ng panahon. Malaki ka na rin. Ni minsan hindi ka man lang nagpakilala ng babae sa akin. Kung buhay pa siguro si Kea ngayon‚ naunahan ka na ng kapatid mo na iyon. ” dagdag na biro ni tita.
“I'm in race with no one. Kahit mauna pa siya sa akin or ako sa kaniya‚ eitherway‚ I support him. " sagot na lang ni Kei kay tita.
“Itong batang ito‚ napakaseryoso sa buhay. Ikaw ba‚ Ash‚ may bago na ba? ” bakit ako nadamay riyan? Nanahimik ako rito eh.
I smiled at her‚ “Your son is irreplaceable. No one else comes close to me. ”
“You really love him‚ don’t you? ” Kei asked me.
“Ofcourse‚ I do. ”
“Hmm. I hope you could find a new place to call home so soon‚ ” tita Yvette told me.
“Hindi naman po ako naghahanap‚ ” natatawa kong sabi.
“Huwag tuldukan agad‚ iha. Better things in life comes after a comma or a but. ” she said then smiled at me. Yeah‚ ewan‚ basta nabubuhay ako. Okay na ako roon. Hindi na ako maghahangad pa ng panibagong sakit sa ulo at sa puso. I’ve had enough from my past.
“She’s full of anger from her past. ” Thaniel said then throw quick glances at me.
“Hmm? Are you? ” Kei asked me once again.
“Instead of asking about someone’s resentment‚ why can't we ask them what’s wrong or what pains them? ” I answered.
“What pains you then? ” I looked at him with disbelief. Is it appropriate to talk about that in this dining table made for two different families filled with diverge perceptions?
“Wala. ”
“Are you mad? " isa pa‚ Kei. Isang-isa na lang. The whole attention is on me now. Sheesshh‚ I hate how this conversation going.
“No. Please excuse me. ” sagot ko na lamang at humarap sa kanilang lahat. “Mom‚ can I take some time outside? May hinihintay pa naman yata tayo. ” paalam ko kay mama.
“Go ahead‚ ” she said.
“Hinihintay ko parin si Isaac. Baka na-traffic pa. ” sabi ni tita na pinatutungkulan ang kaniyang asawa.
After getting their approval‚ dali-dali akong tumayo at lumabas nitong restaurant. Bwisit‚ nakabibwisit. Ang daming p’wedeng ma-topic‚ si Keanu pa talaga. Sarap din ibaon ng buhay ang aking magiting na kuya. Akala mo nakatulong yung pananalita niya. Lalo lamang lumalim yung convo. Bwisit talaga.
“I’m sorry‚ ” someone said behind me. I faced him.
“For? ”
“What happened inside. ”
“Nah. I don't mind. " sagot ko na lamang.
“Pero nag-walk out ka? Your actions speak different. ”
“Wala. I just don't like the atmosphere inside‚ ” sagot ko sa kaniya.
“Chill‚ ” kung makapagsalita siya akala mo siya nasa position ko. Napaka-insensitive. “Pretty sure‚ you're judging me on your mind already. ”
“Yeah‚ whatever. ”
“Don't let an anger brace you for a fraction of minute. A minute of being angry consume your 60 seconds chance of feeling something better than anger. ” Keian said to me.
“I don’t make most of my minutes throwing hatred to someone who done me wrong so don't think that I'm mad at you because I'm not. I'm throwing grudges to the situation rather than the person itself. ” sagot ko na lang sa kaniya.
“If cases like this na may nagawa o may nasabing mali sa iyo ang isang tao‚ address it in a calm way without losing your composure‚ ” dagdag niya pa.
“Did I lost my composure tho? ” I asked him and he nodded.
“The moment you turned your back during a discussion showed how you just lost your calmness. ”
I stared at him for a seconds then turned my gazes to those cars passing by and people crossing the pedestrian lane.
“A wasted second could make you lost an opportunity already. Learn to master the art of fraction of time. ”