CHAPTER 12

EMERGENCY

Nasa lobby na ako ngayon at naghihintay, umalis na din naman si Max since anjan na ang sundo nya.
Ilang minuto lang akong nag hintay at dumating na din naman si Ash, nasa loob kami ngayon ng sasakyan nya.
"Sorry for letting you wait, I can't let you go home knowing na mag isa ka." he said. Napatango naman ako at napa tingin sa kanya.
"It's okay I understand, besides I love going home with you." he starts the engine, and starts driving. He was holding my hand the whole time he drives. "Si Iliana?" tanong ko. Magkasama sila kanina eh. Before he answer ay pinark nya muna ang kotse sa tapat ng bahay namin.
"She has her own sundo." I pout at iniiwas ang paningin sa kanya. "Nag text sya sa akin kanina if kung pwede ba daw sya mag pasundo, kaya sinabay ko na." I pouted more. And I think he knows what I am thinking. "I did go here, before sa bahay nila pero umalis ka na" napalingon ako sa kanya, he chuckled. "Don't be jealous, it's you first before anything. Go inside, I'll wait till you get inside."
"Fine."
"You're so adorable when you're annoyed." inirapan ko naman sya. Bumaba na ako sa sasakyan nya. "Good night." I smiled.
"Good night." I said and went inside of the house. Nana was in the living room waiting for me. "Nana," I said and bless. "Asan po si mama?" I ask. She sighed.
"Nasa kwarto at nagpapahinga. Sumakit na naman daw ulo nya." napatango naman ako. Bukas darating na yung private nurse na kinuha ko para ki mama. "Kumain ka na ba? ipag-hahanda kita." tumango ako at saka tumaas.
Naligo ako pagkatapos ay pinatuyo ang buhok, I also check my phone. Meron doon text galing ki titi, kuya Zichus, Max and Ash. I open Ash text first.
Ash:
I'm home. Good night sleep well. I'll pick you up tomorrow.
I smiled in his text. I immediately replied.
Ako:
Good night. I'll wait.
Nilapag ko na ang cellphone ko, it beep again pero mamaya ko na lang titingnan at kakain na muna ako. Mamaya ko na lang din babasahin ang iba pang text sa akin.
Kumain ako ng mag isa pagkatapos ay tumaas na ako, naghilamos ako at saka sumalampak sa kama ko. Kinuha ko ang cellphone ko at tiningnan na ang mga text don.
Tito Anton:
Your house here is ready just tell me if tuloy na kayo.
I first checked Tito Anton's message. I replied.
Ako:
Yes tito. When there is no improvement I don't have a choice but to go there. I'll update you soon. Thank you.
Sunod kong binuksan ang ki kiya Zic.
Kuya Zic:
Hey baby! Are you fine? Please just go here so we can take care of you. Text me if you need me. I miss you.
I was close to kuya Zic and Mariel it's just that they decided to go to U.S. so matagal na ng huli kaming nagkita.
Pabalik balik lang si kuya Zic sa U.S. dati pero ngayon two years na siyang nag stay doon. He doesn't want to go home. Well I think he still can't move on.
I type a reply for him.
Ako:
Yeah kuya. Thank you. I miss you too.
They're family has a business that's already in the U.S.
The next text I open was Max, may text din si Ash pero ihuhuli ko na yun.
Max:
Kamusta na ang couple ko jan?
I can imagine her smile while saying her text. Napailing na lang ako. Dalawa yun na text nya.
Max:
Let go Zyra. Let yourself love him!
Natatawa na lang ako at saka nag tipa ng mensahe para sa kanya.
Ako:
Wag na baka pagtawanan mo lang ako pag nasaktan ako.
I replied as I remembered what she told me. I also text Adrian about sa wednesday. Probably Adrian knows that may balak kaming umalis. It stays between us.
Finally I open Ash text.
Ash:
Alright. Good night.
Natatawa na lang ako ata napailing, paulit ulit? but it's sweet though. I sighed heavily before deciding to study for at least two hours and go to sleep after.
Tuesday and nothing special it's just that the symptoms of mama's ill starts to be seen. And it may make my mind also. But I will still look forward in the hope that we won't leave. I'm trusting.
Gaya ng sabi ni Ash ay sinundo niya nga ako at sabay kaming pumasok hinatid nya din ako sa classroom ko. At sympre hindi mawawala ang mga titig ni Max na makahulugan. Hindi ako nito titigilan hangga't hindi ko sinasabi na okay I am wrong about my principles.
Lunch at sabay kami ni Ash kasama din namin si Max. Panay text naman sya may bago daw syang jowa. Pero bakas pa rin ang lungkot sa mga mata nya. Then she tell me honestly na mahal niya parin yung ex nya pero hindi niya alam kung nasaan. Ang hirap pala non yung iwan ka na lang bigla. Buti sa kanya nag paalam pa at nakipaghiwalay eh ako? kung aalis kami at hindi ko sasabihin ki Ash mas masakit yun. Hindi naman ako sa kanya pwede makipag hiwalay because there is no us to begin with. I'm okay naman in this situation.
Gaya ng dati hinatid ako ni Ash sa bahay ng uwian, I am getting used to it of what he does for me. It was sweet and I like it but fear can't be taken away from me. Now I wonder if there will be love that can fade the fear that I felt?
It was okay tuesday except to the fact that I saw my mama starts to be weak. Hindi na din sya nakikipagtalo pag sinasabi ko na aalis kami if ever na kailangan na talaga.
Wednesday and I am excited for this day because I will have my dinner with Ash. For this day I told Ash to at least not pick me up for this morning. But look, there he is in front of our house waiting for me. I have no choice of course but to come with him.
"Come on, get used to it, I will always pick you up." I swallowed, bitterness crept in me. I smiled.
As always halos mabali na lahat ng leeg kaka-tingin sa amin ni Ash, no one can confirm if what really the score between us. Funny because even I don't have any idea. I am only waiting for the chismosa so I could know also.
As always of course hinatid nanaman ako ni Ash sa room at syempre mawawala ba don ang mga makahulugan na tingin ni Max.
This scenario will be one of the things I will miss if ever we will leave. I have plan to tell it to Mac pero gusto ko pag nasa airport na at least kami.
She became one of the most important people in me that I can no longer hold if ever I will see her cry. That's how I get attached to someone so easily. I don't know if it's because my heart was so soft or I was just so lonely that if someone were to me I get attached so much that I can't afford to let go.
I mean who could let go of the things that are important to your life? right? If there is a person who can do that well I guess he or she is strong enough.
'So your dad is strong enough to leave you and your mama?'
Minsan gusto ko na din itakwil ang utak ko. Lalo na tong sa likod, masyadong traydor eh!
Lunch at kami lang ang magkasama ni Max since kasama ni Ash ang mga kateam nya sa basketball well he doesn't want pa nga eh pero pinilit ko na lang. He gives his time to me, all of it that I think sometimes he forgot to give some to his friends.
"Ash come on, that's your team. I will be fine with Max besides we will have our dinner." I said.
"Zyri,"
"You give all of your time to me. I like it but of course there are your friends." sa huli syempre pumayag din sya at ayun kasama nya ang mga kaibigan nya.
Kaya eto kami ni Max sa library at tinatakpan ang bibig namin sa pagsabog ng tawa. Ang gaga kasi kanina pa nagbibiro at pagkukwento ng kahit ano.
I hate to be happy right now because I know what might happen but I guess I should just take it besides pareho lang naman eh for sure pagkatapos neto masasaktan ako, thing is now I think it will be more painful.
It was more painful when it let you taste the glimpse of the light before the darkness. Because instead of preparing yourself for the darkness that will come you choose to taste the light that will actually fade and when it's gone and darkness comes you don't know anymore where to go. You didn't prepare yourself in the darkness when you had the chance to, you chose instead to be in a second of light because you thought it would be the last.
Mabilis natapos ang panghuli naming klase. Pumunta na ako sa cafe nasabi ko naman din yun ki Ash na wag nya na ako ihatid sa cafe pumayag na din naman sya, mamaya magkikita lang naman kami.
Si Max naman at ayun mag d-date daw sila nung jowa nya ngayon. Nasa cafe na ako at sinalubong ako ni Adrian na matamlay. Nginitian ko sya. Of all people now isa siya sa may alam ng pinagdaanan ko.
"Aalis ba talaga kayo?" nagkibit balikat ako. Naupo kami sa isang sulok. "Was tita Florence fine?" I sighed heavily.
"Hindi ko alam. Basta pag natuloy kami ibebenta namin tong cafe at yung shop."
"I never imagine na magiging ganon, tita Florence was a good person. You know your mother she helps me to prove to my parents that even if I am gay I can still succeed. I even planned to tell her that she will be the one na mag sasabit sakin ng medal sa graduation ko." biglang namula ang mga mata nya. I smiled sadly.
"It's life. It will stab you from the back." We both sighed heavily. It's already four at natapos na ang pag uusap namin ni Adrian at ang pag chek ko na pag desisyunan ko na umuwi na muna at mag palit.
By five thirty ay papunta na ulit ako sa cafe. Alam na din naman ni Adrian na may dinner kami ni Ash. Naupo ako sa dulo kung saan wala masyadong nakakakita at mas private.
It's six wala pa din si Ash. Well maybe papunta na siya since six naman talaga usapan namin. Pero nag six thirty na ay wala pa rin sya. Nilapitan na nga ako ni Adrian at binigyan ng juice.
It's seven and still I can't see even his shadow. Muli akong nilapitan ni Adrian. Tinanguan ko na lang sya.
Alas nuebe nag sasara ang cafe namin and it is fucking eight thirty wala parin si Ash. Come on, I'll wait till nine. Nine Ash, please come.
Pero nag nine na at hindi pa rin siya dumating.
"Ano dinner?" si Adrian. I sighed heavily at tumayo na.
"Uuwi na ako." I boredly. I give my cold and bored expression at mas nagmukha akong walang pakialam because of my sleepy eyes.
Pagkalabas na pagkalabas ko ay si Ash na nag mamadali. I only look at him. I can't be mad, pinaghintay ko din naman sya dati.
"Sorry I just got an emergency." aniya. Tinanguan ko sya. At lalagpasan na sana kaso hinawakan nya ng marahan ang braso ko. "Juliana arrives and I need to pick her up."
Juliana. Napa tango tango ako. "Okay." I said and tried to smile.
"Let's go back and have dinner." umiling ako.
"Wag na sarado na eh."
"Zyri please sorry," tumango ako.
"Okay. Let's go home." I said and smiled.
"Zyri,"
"It's okay Ash, it's emergency besides there is no point na pagtalunan pa natin ang isang bagay na tapos na."