9:47 a.m. — Central Library, 2nd floor.
The AC was insanely cold, cold enough to make goosebumps rise on Kyla’s arms. The smell of old carpet mixed with the scent of books that had been collecting dust for years. Outside the window, the London sun was already scorching, but inside the library, it felt like a refrigerator.
At the farthest corner table, Kyla and Ara had been sitting since 9:30 a.m. They were supposed to arrive at 9, but Ara had something to take care of first.
On the table was a familiar mess: two laptops that were already starting to heat up, four thick Indonesian Literature books filled with theories about language styles that made anyone sleepy, a pile of crumpled pink and yellow sticky notes, two tumblers filled with coffee, and one bottle of mineral water that was already half empty and no longer cold.
Kyla was wearing a baby-blue blouse, long jeans, and her hair was tied up messily with an already-stretched rubber band. Her round glasses had slipped to the tip of her nose.
On her laptop screen, a Word document was open:
"THESIS_KYLA_CHAPTER3_REVISION7_FINAL_FINAL2.docx"
She had only added two paragraphs since 10 a.m. Two paragraphs. Even though her target for today was five pages.
Ara?
Ara had already typed three pages while listening to Spotify through one earbud. Ara glanced at Kyla, then at Kyla’s laptop screen, which had been stuck on the exact same paragraph for the past two hours.
“Kay,” Ara whispered because they weren’t allowed to be loud in the library. “What have you been doing this whole time? Your Chapter 3 is still exactly where it was. Are you writing or stalking?”
Kyla didn’t answer. Her fingers were still hovering over the keyboard, pretending to type, but her eyes... Her eyes weren’t on the laptop. They were in the bottom-right corner, on her phone, which was on silent but whose screen kept lighting up on top of the stack of books.
12:12 p.m.
Kyla checked her phone. The screen lit up, displaying her wallpaper: a photo of Kyla and Ara in London.
There was no new message from Nata. The last message was still the one Kyla had sent that morning at 7:23 a.m.
“Ta, are you coming to the library? Ara and I are on the second floor.”
Two blue check marks. Read. But no reply.
12:22 p.m.
Kyla checked her phone again. Still nothing. Kyla locked her phone a little too harshly, then pretended to open her language-style theory book.
12:32 p.m.
Kyla checked her phone again. This time, she stared at it longer. Kyla opened Instagram and checked Nata’s story.Nothing. No new story. Nata had really disappeared.
Ara was starting to get annoyed. She slowly closed her laptop.
“Kylaaa!” Ara lightly slapped the table, but her tone was already irritated.
“Focus, girl! You’ve been checking your phone nonstop! Every ten minutes! Nata, Nata, Nata is all that’s in your head! Your thesis is crying because of you!”
Kyla immediately panicked and closed her phone, her face turning as red as a boiled crab.
“What are you talking about?! I’m not waiting for Nata! I’m waiting for my thesis supervisor to reply to my message! My supervisor is in a meeting!”
Ara gave her a mischievous grin, clearly enjoying how flustered Kyla was.
“Oh, really? Your thesis supervisor’s name is Nata now? Did you save his contact with heart and fire emojis? A thesis supervisor who feels like a boyfriend?”
“SHUT UP!” Kyla smacked Ara’s arm a little too hard, making the library staff turn their heads. Kyla immediately lowered her head and apologized.
But twelve minutes later...
Kyla checked her phone again. She couldn’t lie. Her heart really was waiting for him.
On the second floor of the library, every time the sliding door opened with a sreeeek, every time she heard a guy’s footsteps, Kyla automatically looked up.
Her heart raced. Maybe Nata had come to the library after all. Maybe Nata would suddenly appear carrying coffee like he usually did. Even though Kyla knew he wasn’t coming today. Nata hadn’t said a single thing all day. He had completely disappeared.
12:40 p.m.
Ara went to the bathroom on the first floor.
Kyla was alone at the corner table. The table wobbled. The AC was freezing. A pile of thick books sat in front of her. Her laptop was hot.
Kyla was alone. Finally, Kyla allowed herself to be honest with herself. She opened Nata’s chat. She typed a long message, her fingers trembling.
"Ta, where are you? I’ve been at the library with Ara all day since 10, and you haven’t said anything at all. I’ve been waiting for you since earlier. Where are you?"
Kyla read it again. For too long. Then she deleted everything.
She typed again, shorter, trying to act cool.
"Ta, are you busy?"
She deleted it again.
Too stiff. Finally, after thinking for ten minutes, the only thing she sent was:
"Ta, are you still going to the café this afternoon?"
Two check marks. Blue. Read? She didn’t know. No reply. Nothing.
Kyla felt so stupid.
Why did she have to wait for a guy who hadn’t even messaged her all day?
Why did she have to care about a guy she had only recently met?
Kyla closed her laptop a little too hard. Then opened it again. Then went back to working, annoyed.
3:30 p.m.
The dangerous hour. The most dangerous hour of the entire day. The time when Kyla usually started getting ready, organizing her books, touching up her powder, fixing her hair, and preparing to go to the London café at 4.
The sacred hour.
In the library, Ara was extremely sleepy. Her head was almost falling onto the table, and her earbud was already crooked.
Ara opened her eyes halfway.
“Kay, are you going to the café at four? You usually leave around this time, right? You’re already dressed up and smelling good by now. Are you leaving today too?”
Kyla stayed silent for a long time. She stared at the time on her laptop.
3:31.
3:32.
3:33.
“No,” Kyla answered quietly. Her voice was small. “I’m staying at the library today. Besides, Nata hasn’t said anything. What’s the point of going to the café if his seat is going to be empty?”
Ara, who had been half-asleep, immediately woke up completely. She moved her chair closer to Kyla and hugged her from the side. The scent of Ara’s perfume mixed with the smell of old books.
“It’s okay,” Ara whispered.
“Guys are like that. Sometimes they disappear all day without saying anything. And you’ve already done great today. You added two paragraphs, even though it took you five hours to write only two paragraphs. It’s okay. Take it slowly.”
Kyla laughed. But the laugh was empty. Her eyes were slightly watery. Not because of her thesis. Because she was tired, sleepy, annoyed, missing him, scared... Everything was mixed together like iced tea with way too much ice.
4:05 p.m.
Five minutes past four.
Kyla and Nata’s sacred hour at the London café. Today, it was empty. Of course it was empty.
The wooden corner table they had been sitting at for the past few weeks, the one that now had tiny scratches from the names they had jokingly carved into it, would probably be occupied by someone else today.
No Kyla. No Nata.
Kyla looked at the clock on her laptop.
Five minutes past four. Her chest felt a little tight, as if something was gently pressing against it.
“Ra, I’m so annoyed,” Kyla said quietly, almost inaudibly because of the noisy AC.
Ara immediately took Kyla’s hand. “Annoyed about what? Your thesis, or Nata for not messaging you?”
“Both. I’m annoyed at myself for waiting for someone who hasn’t even said anything.”
Ara didn’t answer. She simply rubbed Kyla’s back gently, like she was petting a cat.
6:00 p.m.
The library was about to close.
The library lights were already flickering, and the staff had started walking around with their keys.
“Twenty minutes until closing, okay, everyone? Please put your books away.”
Kyla suddenly realized that she had been in the library all day, from 10 a.m. until 6 p.m.
Eight hours. And Chapter 3 had only gained two paragraphs. She had gotten absolutely nothing done. All because she had been waiting for a message that never came. All because she checked her phone every ten minutes.
Kyla and Ara packed up their books, returned the four thick books that weighed like bricks to the highest shelves, and shut down Kyla’s laptop, which was so hot it could probably fry an egg.
Kyla’s bag was heavy.
Inside were thirty pages of printed material she hadn’t read at all, plus two books she had basically forced herself to borrow because she was afraid her lecturer would ask about them.
6:15 p.m.
Kyla and Ara left the library. The London sky was already dark. The rain had just stopped. The roads were muddy, and the air smelled like wet earth. The library parking lot was nearly empty. Only Ara’s motorcycle was there, its seat still wet.
Throughout the ride from the library to Kyla’s house, Kyla stayed quiet.
Unlike usual, when she would constantly talk.
“Ra, I saw this earlier.”
“Ra, I heard this earlier.” Kyla hugged her bag tightly.
Ara’s oversized helmet made Kyla’s face look even smaller. Ara shouted from the front while riding, fighting against the wind. “WHY ARE YOU SO QUIET?! ARE YOU STILL THINKING ABOUT NATA?!”
Kyla shouted back, “NO! I’M THINKING ABOUT MY THESIS THAT NEVER GETS FINISHED! ONLY TWO PARAGRAPHS ALL DAY!”
A lie. A huge lie.
Kyla was thinking about Nata. She was thinking about why Nata hadn’t messaged her. She was thinking about whether something had happened to him.
✿✿✿
8:30 p.m.
They arrived home.
Kyla got off Ara’s motorcycle, her legs slightly numb from sitting for so long at the library. Ara waited in front of the gate, her motorcycle still running. She wanted to make sure Kyla safely got inside the house before leaving. Ara really was the most solid friend anyone could ask for.
Inside the living room, the lights were extremely bright. Kirana was sitting on the brown sofa, wearing a floral house dress. Her expression was serious. Her arms were crossed over her chest. Her leg was bouncing impatiently.
The TV was on, showing a soap opera, but she wasn’t watching it. The volume was low. The moment Kyla opened the gate, the gate made a creak that sounded just like Nata’s bicycle.
Kirana immediately stood up. “Kyla, where have you been? You’re only coming home now? It’s 8:30 at night! Do you even know what time it is?!”
Kyla was startled. “I was at the library with Ara. I spent the whole day working on my thesis at the central library on the second floor, since 10 this morning!”
Ara didn’t leave immediately. After hearing Kirana’s angry voice, she joined in from outside the gate, shouting so Kirana could hear. “Yes, Sis! I swear, Kyla was with me at the library all day! Since this morning!”
Kirana didn’t even look at Ara. Her eyes stayed focused on Kyla. Her eyes were red, as if she had either been crying or was simply furious.
“The library? The library until 8:30 at night? You’re lying, aren’t you? You met Nata again, didn’t you? That poor kid? The one who rides that beat-up bicycle?!”
Kyla couldn’t stand hearing Kirana insult Nata. “Sis, seriously? I really was at the library! Ask Ara! I didn’t see Nata at all today! Nata didn’t even message me all day! My phone was literally on silent all day!”
Kirana raised her voice. Her voice trembled. She wasn’t just angry. She was scared.
“Don’t lie to me! Every time you come home late, it’s always the library, the library, the library. But you were with Nata, weren’t you? Now you’re even using Ara as an excuse. You were with Nata! Why can’t you ever listen to me?!”
Ara, still outside the gate, was starting to panic. She got off her motorcycle and walked into the yard because she felt uncomfortable just watching from the gate. “Sis, I swear to God, Kyla was with me all day! From 10 this morning until the library closed at 6! Then we stopped to get some food because we hadn’t eaten since noon. We even got caught in the rain over there! Kyla’s bag is full of books, not a change of clothes for meeting Nata!”
“You’re her friend! Of course you’re going to defend her! I know you two are covering for each other!”
Kyla was at the end of her patience. She had spent the whole day freezing in the library AC until she was shivering. She had checked her phone every ten minutes until the battery was almost dead. Her thesis wasn’t finished.
Only two paragraphs. She had waited for Nata’s message that never came. She had gotten caught in the rain. And now she had finally come home exhausted, carrying a heavy bag, only to be accused of lying.
“SIS, I REALLY WAS AT THE LIBRARY!” Kyla’s voice cracked.
Loud. Almost crying. Her voice broke in the middle of the sentence.
“I DIDN’T SEE NATA AT ALL TODAY! I WAS WITH ARA THE WHOLE DAY! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS THINK I’M WITH NATA?! WHY DON’T YOU EVER TRUST ME?!”
The living room went silent. The soap opera was still playing on the TV, but no one was watching.
Ara stood silently in the yard. She didn’t dare say anything. Her fingers tightened around her helmet.
Kirana was shocked that Kyla had yelled at her. It was the first time Kyla had ever shouted at Kirana with a voice that sounded so close to tears. Her eyes were watery. Her thesis bag was still hanging from her shoulders.
Kirana’s lips trembled. She wanted to say something. But nothing came out. Kyla didn’t wait for Kirana’s answer. She immediately went into her room. She didn’t slam the door. She simply closed it gently. Kyla didn’t have the energy to be angry anymore. She had already spent all of her energy throughout the day.
Inside her room, Kyla sat on the floor with her back against the door. Her thesis bag was still on her shoulders. She hadn’t even taken it off.
It was incredibly heavy. Her phone was in her hand.
The screen was still showing Nata’s chat, with the two blue check marks and no reply since 7 that morning.
Kyla opened Nata’s chat again. She typed with trembling fingers. Tears had already started falling one by one onto the screen.
"Ta, Kirana yelled at me because I came home late. She thought I was with you, even though I spent the whole day at the library with Ara. I’m so tired today. I waited for you all day."
Kyla read it. Then deleted everything. It was too long. Too dramatic.
She typed again.
"Ta, where are you? I miss you."
Kyla deleted it again. She was embarrassed.
In the end, Kyla could only cry quietly on the bedroom floor. Her bag was still on her shoulders. Her phone slipped from her hand and fell beside her. The screen was still lit up on Nata’s empty chat.
Outside the room, Kirana was still sitting on the living room sofa. She was silent. Her arms were no longer crossed.
Instead, she covered her face with her hands. Kirana could hear Kyla quietly crying inside her room. She felt guilty. But she was also scared. Scared that something might happen to Kyla if she kept coming home late with a guy.
Ara had already gone home. The sound of her motorcycle had disappeared. Only muddy tire tracks remained in front of the gate.
In the living room, there was only the quiet sound of the soap opera still playing on the TV. The soft sound of Kyla crying inside her room. And the ticking of the wall clock.
Tick-tock. Tick-tock.
That day, there was no Nata.
No 4 p.m. café.
No friend to vent to.
There was only Kyla, who had spent the entire day waiting for a message that never came until her phone was almost dead.
Ara, who had been a living witness but wasn’t believed at all.
And Kirana, who had misunderstood everything—not because she hated Kyla, but because she cared too much and was afraid of losing her.
✿✿✿✿✿✿
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