CALEB VINCENT:
"You love flowers?"
I just stared at the chat he sent. I was still thinking if I should reply or just delete this app.
"Try to reply, he looks kind," Sierra said and handed me back my phone.
I looked at it for a while before replying. Maybe there's nothing wrong with replying. Poor guy, maybe he keeps checking his phone every hour waiting for my message. But... why would he even wait for my reply?
I sighed and pressed the send button.
ELIRA SHANE BUENAVENTURA:
"Hi! Yes! I like flowers, I actually work at a flower shop."
Oh no! I said too much! He might think I'm too excited. This is so me-expecting something that's not even there.
I turned off my phone and sat properly on the sofa beside Sierra, who was chatting with her boyfriend. Our two other friends, who came all the way from Central Cebu, were also there.
The four of us have been friends since senior high school. Because of them, I became more confident when talking to people.
Since kindergarten, I've always been shy. I used to cry when my mom left me at school. I still remember my first day. I thought she would stay with me inside the classroom until the end, but she already left.
I was holding tightly to my mom's shirt because I was so scared she would leave me there. New faces and a new place-that's why when I was young, I wanted my mom to guide me.
Maybe until now, I'm still scared to be alone. I got used to having someone with me wherever I go. That's why people call Sierra and me a couple even if we're both straight (though I'm not really sure if I am). I'm already 22 years old, but I still haven't discovered my identity. It's a lot of pressure because people around me already know what they want and can see their future selves. Me? I can't even picture one scene of my future. Do I really need to see myself in the future?
"Elira!"
I blinked twice when Samantha called my name. I quickly came back to reality. They were all looking at me, confused.
"Are you okay, girl?" Venice asked, holding a plate with pizza.
Today is supposed to be about us, but my mind keeps thinking about my problems. I really need to separate my thoughts from real life to avoid distraction.
"Oh... why?" I asked, confused.
"There she goes again, lost in her imagination. She's like that when she doesn't have a boyfriend," they laughed. But Sierra looked at me seriously. "Are you really okay? If you have a problem, don't keep it to yourself. We're here to listen, Elira."
I bit my lip and slowly nodded.
It's not that I have trust issues, but... can I really trust them? In this generation, no one can be trusted. Even your family can become your enemy. Or maybe I'm just overthinking... maybe I'm just paranoid.
I shook my head to clear my thoughts and looked at the three of them one by one. "I'm okay. I just remembered when we first met each other. I just got emotional," I said with a small laugh.
"Ah, I see. I never thought we'd still be together after all these years even if we have different goals," Elira said while drinking her can of beer.
It was still noon but they were already drinking. I hope their kidneys are fine. I also drank-but only juice, because I can't handle beer. It's too strong for me and I'm not used to drinking. I can only take one to five shots.
We kept talking until the topic turned to love life. I went silent. I couldn't relate.
"Our first meet-up was at 7-Eleven two weeks ago, and that same day I said yes to him," Sierra told them. Her smile was so wide-she was really proud of her boyfriend even if she didn't know him that well yet.
"What? Girl, maybe he cast a love spell on you. You said yes too fast. You don't even know him properly yet," Samantha said right away, even though she did the same thing before.
Sierra rolled her eyes playfully. "Bitch, we've been talking for a long time. I met him on a dating app... the same one Elira is using now!" she said with a teasing tone.
The two looked at me, shocked. It's the first time they knew I was using a dating app. They always thought I only focus on school, work, and home-which is true.
"Finally! Elira's craving for a boyfriend too!" Venice raised both hands while still holding her can of beer, like she was offering something to the heavens.
"Huh? What-no! I mean, I'm craving love, but having a boyfriend is not in my mind yet..." I said, a little panicked.
The three of them looked at each other, like they were teasing me, clearly knowing I was just lying.
Why am I so shy about my love life? What Venice said is true-I do want a boyfriend, but I don't want to say it. What if they set me up on a blind date? That would be so awkward for me. I just want it to be smooth, and I want to be the first one to meet him.
"Ha! Pretending not to want it but really wanting it, that must be her birthday wish too. No wonder it took so long to blow out the candles," Samantha said, and all three of them laughed so hard.
Sierra held her stomach from laughing, while Venice's tears started falling from laughing too much. Even I couldn't help but laugh at what they were saying.
Our conversation as friends was so fun and emotional. We catch up, shared stories about what's happening in our lives, and gave each other advice.
This kind of friendship is something you can't find just anywhere. It's so rare that you'd have to cross two rivers and climb the tallest mountain just to see them.
That's how I felt, because I've never had friends that lasted more than a year. I'm super grateful for them, but sometimes I feel guilty because there are problems I can't tell them, like... my trust isn't fully there yet, even though we've been friends for years.
Maybe I'm just paranoid from everything I read on social media.