CHAPTER 04
"Sing for me please" She begged.
She really never gives up. We are currently in her apartment, fixing another hole on her roof.
I shook my head "Focus on the roof Roseanne"
"I will if you sing for me" She propose.
I chuckled at her persistence "Sleep with rain water surrounding you then 'cause I won't still sing"
"Oh my gosh, are you for real?!" She groaned "It's just one song, it won't hurt!"
"My confidence will be" I deadpan.
"That's whyyy, you can practice it. I'll support you, we're friends so let me help you" She said trying to reach the roof, she's standing on a stool chair.
"Let me do that for you" I said, marching to replace her from fixing the roof.
"No! I will do this. You won't let me help you, then don't help me" She whined.
"You're stubborn!" I exclaimed, surprised seeing this side of her. I never thought she had this side, I thought she would be all sunshine's and clouds but she still has a little rain in her.
"Same as you" She rolled her eyes upward.
"I'm not" I chuckled seeing her eyes rolling.
"Tell me if you change your mind, then I'll let you help me"
I let her until she finish it. She went down the chair and pulled the paint in her kitchen "I will paint this not to rust"
"Let me do it" I almost jogged towards her but stopped when she faced me with both her arms on the side of her waist.
Frowning she asked "Will you sing for me?"
I wiped my hands on my face with a grin "You're so stubborn!"
She just shrugged and then tried to open the can of paint.
"At least let me open it for you, you'll get paint all over you"
She grunted as she tried her all to open the harden paint can cover "No!"
"Or let me fold your sleeves up" I walked towards her and grabbed her right arm.
I was on the verge of folding her selves when she immediately pulled back her arm "I can do it"
"No! I will do it for you" I grabbed her wrist and she flinched.
"I s-said n-no" She stuttered.
"Why? Is something wrong?" I frowned "Why did you flinched?"
Her eyes wiggled as if asking for a specific words to reason out, and then she plastered an awkward smile.
She faked a laugh "Your hands are cold. Rub it together to make it warm or wear gloves. It's already Winter, the cold is unbearable"
But I didn't eat up her excuse 'cause my hand isn't cold. It's actually warm, just standing closely to her and to be able to touch her is enough for me to get hot.
I guess I'm still a guy, I get tense up when I touch a girl.
***
And just like that, she disappeared. I don't know where she went but the next day after that night. She didn't showed up behind my door.
I waited for her for a whole day but then the next days came but she didn't showed up. It's been a week since then.
I visited next door but her apartment was locked.
Where is she? I don't know, 'cause I had a bare minimum of information from her. I only know her name and nothing else.
Did she disappeared after knowing my story? Does she hates me because of my selfishness? Because I left my parents just for my dreams?
If I was my past self, I would shrug these thoughts off 'cause I don't care.
But when she came, I care anymore. I care for her thoughts. I started opening for her.
I even let her come in and make music with me which is so unlikely me but I did.
But then she disappeared. Whatever her reasons are, my past self would just live it no care but then we're friends.
And I had these building feelings that scares me towards her. I never felt this before, but to her. She made me care and I want her to care for me too.
I just hope she comes back and give me the reasons of her disappearance for a whole week. 'Cause I won't take a silence for an answer.
**
I don't know why but my day seems weird. Me being alone seems like so unusual. It was like something is missing.
I'm done with the song. At last after a month of making it.
"Hi!" I jerked when I heard a sweet tone of voice out of my silent apartment.
I looked over my door to see Roseanne with a smiling face as if it was her supposed facade.
Like as if nothing happen. As if nothing change. As if it's just normal. And as if she didn't went M.I.A for a week.
I avoided my glance on her and act as if I was reviewing the music sheet. There's nothing to change on it, I just don't want to see her and be soft just by seeing her face.
"How are you?" Roseanne asked as she sat beside me "Oh! Did you finish the song already?"
I didn't respond nor look at her "Can I see it?" She asked as she grabbed the music sheet from my grip.
"You change the title? I thought we're going for Sweet Night?" She asked.
"You chose to use this hard to pronounce words than that?" Roseanne was just calmly asking me but I don't know why I find it annoying.
"Theo? Title songs should be easy and relatable"
I looked at her annoyed making her stopped from talking. I saw how her eyes showed fear.
I calmed myself before speaking "Look, I don't care okay? It's my song. I should be the one who'll decide which one to use. Now if you don't like, it's your opinion and it's fine but I'll stick with what I want"
I avoided my eyes after saying the longest sentence I ever said. I was never annoyed this much, even with my parents I wasn't like this. And I hate this.
I glanced at her when I receive nothing in response from her. She was shocked, and I am too with myself.
"What's with you? I was just suggesting, why are you like that?"
"Suggesting and disrespecting my decision is far different Roseanne"
"I was just suggesting!" Her voice increased "What's with your attitude today? I just left for a while and--"
"You left for a week" I corrected her "You left for a hell week without telling me"
"Do I need to tell you my whereabouts? I have to left for some personal matters"
I sighed realizing something "You know what? You're so unfair"
Roseanne just looked at me puzzled and lost.
"You're so unfair for coming into my life and knowing all my secrets. You're so unfair for teaching me to care and you what? You don't care"
Roseanne tried to open her mouth to speak but I didn't let her. I am mad, I don't want to be honest by myself but I know I'm mad because I'm falling for her and she don't care.
"It was so easy for you to walk in and then walk out. You know all about me and I don't know about you aside from your name"
"Theo" She softly whispered "I care for you okay? We're friends"
And that last two words just made me furious. I don't want to be her friend, I want to be the person she can tell secrets to and not just casually talking. I want to be that person she'll be open to and show me her stories even if it has lots of flaws.
But I guess life is just unfair. You want something but there's always times you can't get that something. Just like now, I want her but she don't want me.
"And I will always be your friend. I care for you as a friend. You know that, I know I never failed in letting you feel my sincerity as a friend"
"Friends don't keep secret" I strongly said at her meeting her eyes.
She sighed as if giving up, I saw how her eyes speaks hesitation. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out until it closed again.
I shook my head "Let's talk some other time please, I'm tired"
"Theo" She called pleading. I don't know why she sounds like she's pleading but she sounds like one.
"Just please Roseanne, just for now" I stared at her coldly.
She looked at me with both eyes pleading, she knows me well that I'll let my guard down once I see her eyes.
Even if she shows me that now, I am too mad to her to give in. What she did isn't something simple to forget, I overthink and I thought she will be gone forever.
She made me think that showing what really am was a mistake. She made me regret opening up to her, and telling her all of me.