My dad and I started packing our things. I only have three bags, and he got one. I already sell my stuff online to have money because I am zero right now. My watches, rings, clothes, two laptops, and even the cellphones I have are already gone. We moved to the slum area somewhere in Manila. The rent was cheap, but the apartment was not in good condition. It looks like one blow and it will collapse. The apartment was on the second floor, which is good because it is much more relaxed. Even though I don't have a fan, the natural wind is nice. The apartment was made of a low material with only one toilet, one-bedroom, and a mini living room with a mini sink.
I think that is a kitchen. That’s it: no table and chairs or anything. Once you open the door between the two mini windows, it will go directly to the toilet, but that is fine instead of nothing. I don’t want to sleep on the street anyway, and I don’t want my dad to sleep on the road too. He is too old for that. He might not take the cold and the pollution. I looked at the ceiling to check if there was any leak, but good thing there Was none. There’s water at the sink and inside the toilet. The drain is not clogged, and there are four sockets and four-light bulb sockets. One is outside the house, and one bright light is in the living room. Enough to light the whole apartment since the apartment is small. PERFECT! I will start my new life in this kind of place with my dad since I don’t have a choice now.
“This is the only apartment for rent that is left, all are occupied,” The landlady said, and she looked at me, waiting for my reply.
“Don’t worry; it’s safe here… I am locking the gate at night, and my husband is a barangay chairman here, so no one dares to mess us up,” She said, trying to convince me to rent the tiny apartment.
“Okay, I will take this,” I said, and she smiled at me and said, “You need to pay one month's deposit and two months advance, all in all, it would be P7,500.”
“I will give you the payment later. I will just sort my things out,” I said, and she nodded.
“Okay, I am just next door if you need me. We are neighbours,” She said and left.
I am renting the second apartment on the second floor. I don’t know how many tenants are renting right now, but I know I need to make a big adjustment in my life. I looked at the three bags I had and started sorting my things. The good thing is the previous renter leaves a mini cabinet. I put our bags there, and I took a blanket and put it on the floor in the mini bedroom so that my dad could rest and sleep. I know the floor is cold, but I have nothing to do because we don’t have a bed. My money was not enough to buy a new mattress for us, and I didn’t even know where to get money or how to start my new life. I am planning to put up a small business with the money I have now and begin finding a new job. Even I don’t know where to find a job. I have a cell phone, but I don’t have the internet to browse online. Maybe tomorrow I will start walking around to familiarize myself with the place, maybe I can find a job by walking around. I took my wallet inside my bag to pay the rent. I count what I got. I know my money is not enough to survive us for the whole year, but I don’t have a choice but to pay the rent or else my dad and I will sleep on the street.
“I will just go to the landlady and pay the rent,” I said to daddy. He didn’t answer, but he smiled and nodded.
I went out and closed the door and went to the landlady who was living next door. I think it is only ten steps away from my apartment. I knocked on the door, and she immediately opened it. I know she is waiting for my payment because she smiles when she sees me.
“Here’s my advance payment and my deposit,” I said and handed her the money that I was holding.
“Wait,” She said, and she immediately took the old notebook and black ballpen. She wrote my name and date, and then she received the money before she wrote the word ‘paid’ and let me sign it.
“Thank you, I hope you enjoy your stay in our place,” She said with a smile. The landlady is an older woman. I guess she is already seventy-eight years old. She looks friendly and kind. She is living a simple life with her husband and her cats. Her house is the same as ours, and the difference is they have a second floor. I guess it’s their bedroom.
“May I know where the nearest store is?” I asked her, and she immediately answered me and pointed out where the store was.
“Thank you,” I said, and she smiled at me. She went inside and closed her door while I went outside the compound and went to the store that she pointed to.
The place is messy. There were a lot of people outside. Some are playing cards, while the others are drinking beers under the hot sunny afternoon. The kids are playing with no sleepers on their feet, not wearing shirts, and not yet taking a bath. I guess they are just around three to 4 years of age, while their mothers talk while smoking. They are busy chatting to each other while their kids are dirty. People were looking at me when I passed them. Maybe because they know that I am new here, I am new in this kind of life. I don’t know if I can stay here for long. The environment is stressing me.
I reached the store that the landlady pointed to me. I don’t know what to buy while standing at the front of the store. The man in the store is looking at me, waiting for me to buy. I remember my life before this and the food that I am eating. Probably now, I already have my lunch at the fancy restaurant, but things change so fast, and shi* things happen unexpectedly.
“Are you going to buy it or what?” The man asked while looking at me. I looked at him and answered, “Yes.”
“I want to—” and then I stopped. I am about to say that I want to buy a ham, but I remember that I don’t have a stove and pan to cook it. I don’t have anything with me.
“Yes?” He asked again while still looking at me and waiting to complete what I would say.
“Do you have a cafeteria here?” I asked. I plan to buy ready-to-eat food instead. Even though I don’t know what to buy a cooked meal because I don’t have an idea what to eat, I know I am hungry and want to eat. It is just my movement is limited now because aside from there’s nothing left on me. I need to budget my money until I find a job.
I reached the cafeteria, where the man pointed to me. I didn’t expect that the food on the platter was just placed at the table outside the house and under the hot sun with a glass cover. Enough to see what is inside. I checked the food on the platter, and I saw some dishes that I knew, such as adobo, fried fish, picadillo, and fried egg with sausage. They have hot rice too.
“How much is the rice with adobo?” I asked the woman who was guarding the food that they were selling. She is holding a swatter to avoid the fly or any other insect to go to the food.
“It is P65.00”, She answered. She took plastic to put the adobo that I will order and another plastic for the rice. When I suddenly remember that I don’t have utensils. So how can I eat? I sighed and scratched my head. I am already hungry, but I don’t know how I can eat.
“How many orders?” The woman asked while waiting for my response. I took a deep breath and scratched my head again.
“I forgot that we don’t have utensils, I am new here, and I am not yet settled. '' I said and cleared my throat. This is too hard. I want to eat, but I don’t have a pan to cook my food. I want to buy cooked food, but I don’t have any utensils that I can use to eat. Haist!
“Do you have cup noodles instead?” I asked, and she nodded and answered, “How many are you going to buy?”
“Just two,” I replied.
“And if you can put hot water, please?” I asked. I am asking her to put hot water to cook the noodles because I am already starving and my daddy too. I don’t have a kettle to boil water.
“Okay,” She said. She went inside the house and left me.
After a moment, she comes back with a cup of noodles. She is holding it with her two hands. The noodle is hot, and the aroma of it makes me want to eat it right away, but I need to go back to my apartment because my dad is waiting for me, and I know he is hungry too.
“How much?” I asked her
“P30.00 for two”, She answered, and I gave her my payment.
I took the hot noodles and slowly walked back to my apartment. When a commotion happened. A man is running because a police officer is running after him. I guess he is a snatcher because I saw him throw the bag he was holding. When he bumped me, that made me drop my cup noodles, and it spilt on my clothes, and then it fell to the ground. My noodles are now gone. It is all now on the ground.
“Fuc*!” I shouted in frustration. The cup noodles were my only hope for me and my dad to eat, but now it was spilt on the ground that burned me, and then I heard a gunshot. I saw a man lying on the ground with blood coming out from him. The police shoot him, and now he is dead because he is no longer moving. I know in an instant that he is already dead.
I saw black smoke coming from somewhere passed in front of me, and went to the dead man and I heard him shout because the black smoke grabbed him and dragged him to nowhere, and he was gone as well as the black smoke, but his body was still on the ground. I shook my head and scratched my eyes because I didn’t know what I saw. I am not even sure if it is real because I am already hungry. My last meal was last night. I might just hallucinate. I heard the woman screaming and crying while the police stopped her from going near the dead body lying on the ground. She must be the wife or the sister. I don’t know. The woman and the dead man now is surrounded by the crowd. They are whispering, and some take photos or videos about what happened. I know they will post what happened on their social media account.
“Ahhh!” The woman screamed in pain of losing someone she loved in just an instant.

I noticed that my shirt was wet and smelled like noodle-flavoured seafood. That is why I walk back to my apartment while they have a commotion. This was my first day, yet I saw a commotion, and I witnessed a shooting that killed a man. I returned home with nothing but a wet shirt and an empty stomach. It is hard to eat today, and good luck for me because I don’t know what to do now because of my hunger. I heard my stomach rumbling. That is why I decided to buy bread and cheese instead after changing my shirt. I opened the door and found my dad having his coffee. He is already awake, and it’s good that he provides coffee for himself to ease the hunger even for a moment because I don’t have something to give him. I smiled when I saw him still using the magic mug that I gave him. My first gift to him was when I received my first salary in my first job. I called it a magic mug because once you pour hot water in it. The photo will suddenly appear, and that is our photo when he was hugging me when I was a teenager. He still has the cup and he is still using it until now. I guess it was his favourite and I am so touched, seeing my father enjoying his coffee with the mug that I gave him as a present. I didn’t know how he managed to go out to buy coffee. Didn’t he know about the commotion? Well anyway. That is not important because he is having his coffee now.
Knock! Knock!!
Knock! Knock!!
Someone is knocking on the door. I wonder who it is because I didn’t expect any visitors. That is why I stood up to check who it was. I opened the door and found no one. I closed the door again, and when I turned around, I saw the man who was shot sitting beside my father.
“Help,” He said with his blood dripping from his chest. I looked at him closely because I couldn’t believe what I saw. He looks alive and real except for the blood dripping.
“Help,” He said again.
“Can you see me?” He asked me, but I still looked back. Maybe he is talking to someone else even though I know he is talking to me because there’s no one but my father and me. I couldn’t believe that there was a dead man inside my apartment.
“I can see you, but you’re already dead,” I said, and then my dad laughed. I looked at my dad and looked back at the dead man.
“Stay away from my dad, don’t hurt him,” I said, and my dad laughed more.
“Of course not, I am not harmful,” The man said with the blood still dripping from his chest that distracted me.

“My name is Simon” He introduced his name, but I am not interested because I know he is not real and I am just hungry and hallucinating.
“And I need your help,” He said, and I pretended that I didn’t hear him. I looked at dad again and asked him,
“Can you see him?”
My dad nodded. Well, I guess we are both hungry because we didn’t eat breakfast and haven’t eaten our lunch yet. I looked at both of them and decided to buy something to eat to ease our hunger. I know I am already hallucinating, and I haven’t changed my shirt yet. I opened the door and was surprised when I saw a woman standing at the door. I guess her age is 26 years old. She smiles at me while holding a bowl, and I can smell the aroma that makes me more hungry. I looked at her, touched on her forehead, and asked,
“Are you real?”
She looked at me and answered, “Of course I am.”
She looked at me like a weirdo. No! I am not weird. I am just hungry. Hungry like a wolf, and I think she is just right on time.
“How can I help you?” I asked him nicely, even though I wanted to grab the food bowl that she was holding.
“My mom wants to give you this porridge. She knows that you are not yet eating,” She said with a smile. Her dimple is showing off, which makes her cuter.
“Oh,” I said, pretending to be surprised, and took the bowl of porridge that she was holding.
“Here’s the spoon,” She said and gave me the spoon.
“Thank you,” I said. Finally, there’s an angel who came down from heaven to feed the hopeless and hungry me.
“What is your mother’s name?” I asked before she turned around and left.
“Divina”, She answered

“And your name?” I asked again to her. I want to know her name for nothing. I just want to know.
“Tania”
“Okay, thanks Tania and please tell your mom thanks as well,” I said to her, and she nodded and left.
She went down and went back to their apartment. Tania is a pretty lady. I didn’t know that Divina had a daughter. I thought she was with her husband and cats only. Divina is my landlady, and they are living on the first floor while I am on the second floor and my apartment is facing theirs. That is why I can see them well. Anyway, that is not important. Divina gave me food and at last. I can eat now. I went inside the apartment, and I remembered that we didn’t have chairs and tables. So we just sat on the floor and started eating with my dad. The hot porridge tasted good. I can taste the ginger and the garlic which makes it more tasteful aside from the tenderness of the chicken. I know it doesn’t even match the hot weather this afternoon, and it makes me sweaty, but I am thankful that finally, I was eating now after the long night last night, and this is better than nothing.
“Can you help me?” Simon asked while looking at me. Eating.
I didn’t mind him because I knew he was not real, but he repeatedly asked me. If I can help him, it annoys me. I know he will be gone soon once I am full and not hallucinating anymore, but I am wrong because he is still here and keeps asking me, which irritates me.
“How can I help you? You’re already dead?” I asked him irritably, and yes, I am talking to the dead. I couldn’t believe it.
“Help me cross to the other side”, He answered, and I looked at him, like seriously? Help you cross to the other side? Like I know how to do that? YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!
“It is your job… I guess,” He whispered
“Look, Simon,” I said
“I didn’t know why those cops shot you, and I know it is not my business to know but please… spare me… what you are asking me is impossible.” And I paused because I noticed that I was talking to the dead man. Like seriously? There’s a dead man inside my apartment who asked me to help him cross the other line. WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME?
“Please,” He begged, and I shook my head.
“I never stole anything… I am just a water delivery boy who witnessed a stealing happening inside the water station, and the one who did it is the son of the owner… and he framed me up; that is why I got shot,” He said, and he looked down. I know how he wanted to cry by losing his life in an unacceptable situation.
“My life was stolen”, He sadly said. I looked at him, and I felt pity. I know he is not real, but I feel pity for him. He seems to be telling the truth.
“Why are you holding the bag?” I asked him like he was real.
“It is a part of the frameup”, He answered, and he couldn’t look at me.
“Please?” He begged, and I shook my head and sighed.
“Because you need to remember who you are,” My dad said
“Soon, God will call you to reconcile”, He added, but I didn’t mind him because I started to become
confused. I know I am no longer hungry, but I am still hallucinating.
“I will just buy water first, and let me think about it,” I told him, giving a spark to his eye that gives him hope.
Drinking water will help you circulate your blood, which I need right now. I need to drink water so that my blood can circulate well. Maybe this is the reason why I am hallucinating. It is because I need water. I went out, and I went to the store to buy water. I will know later when I come back. Simon is no longer there because he is already dead. While walking, I heard two mothers talking. One is holding his infant while smoking. At the same time, the other one keeps on scratching his nose. I don’t know why but she looks high. I heard them talking about what happened a while ago, and Simon is the talk of the town. Hot and sizzling. I confirmed that he was Simon because he told me his name, and I heard it from the buzzing woman.
“Poor, Simon,” The woman said, and she threw her cigarette on the ground and stepped on it while still carrying her infant thin and dirty and who’s about to cry.

I went back to the apartment, and I saw Simon inside. He didn’t disappear. He didn’t go and the way he sat before I went to the store to buy water. That is how he sat when I came back from the store to buy water. I gave the other bottle to my dad because I knew he was thirsty. I Open another water bottle and drink it until I finish the water. I am so thirsty, and the cold water refreshes me.
“Can you help me now?” He asked, but I didn’t answer because I tried to convince myself that he was not real. He is dead, but he is not in my apartment asking me to help him.
“I know you believe that we are real,” He said, trying to convince me to help him. I remain silent and think for seconds because I don’t want to go crazy, which I think I am now. He is looking at me and waiting for my reply. His cold eyes give pity on me. I know he is a good man and the bad ones are those who framed him.
“Or can you just tell my wife I am sorry, and I love him so much?” He said and now asking me a favour. I shook my head and didn’t reply.
Please,” He begged. I looked into his cold and begging eyes and said, “Okay… okay.”
“What’s the name of your wife, and where can I find her?” I asked.
“Jackie, and we live in the next barangay”, He answered.