Okay, let me get this straight. I am not a psycho, and I totally am not what Riley thinks I am. I didn’t have a choice! So, how could I not kill that dog?! Maybe I did have a choice. But imagine being a six-year-old and your father is a drunkard who loves to pick on anyone he thinks is too weak to fight him back. You’re a kid and all you do is to try your best to meet your father’s expectations so you won’t die the next morning. I was scared. Alone all my life, trying to meet everyone else’s expectations, and if you fail, you leave. I left home when I turned nine. No moral compass. No mother to lean on. I became homeless.
I was weak enough to stand up for myself. If I hadn’t done that in the first place…
Maybe I would still be under my father’s roof. The place which I hated. The place where everything that’s happened to me started. It was the root of all my problems. I became an alcoholic, a Chain smoker, and a gambler at a very young age. I stole, robbed, and killed. I’d done all that until I was 14. 
Right. Who cares?
I raised myself holding guns, counting bodies, refilling ammo. All of that changed when I met Nathalie. She was my friend. She helped me raise myself to become better. I stopped my vices, started a new life, found a new job, attended school with her, and then I met more friends. She has a nice family who accepted me for who I am and stood by my side as I did my best to change. As I started living with them, I felt loved. I felt like I was part of the family. They fostered me and even signed my adoption papers. 
So, if I can’t get my shot on Riley just because of this dog I killed…
I don’t know. I think I hurt her feelings. Yeah, it should already be part of the instinct where you must already know every girl around the world likes dogs. And cats, I guess. But the fact that I slipped my tongue and said something about my past has hurt others. No one really wants to hear your story when they already know the worst part of it and that’s only a single letter of the entire story. It’s hard. Especially when it’s someone you like who doesn’t know you so well yet.
I should say sorry. I should tell her it’s just a jape. Sarcasm, perhaps. Though, I don’t really know how they use the word ‘sarcasm’.
Ugh. Never mind. She needs me, right now. Right at this time. Maybe, if I show off a little, she will like me. And probably forget about me being a dog murderer. Hopefully. I should do it. It doesn’t matter. I have to get her trust back.
I look at the hoodie guy and nod at him to confirm if he’s up to letting me have his gun for a while. I know this is against what I’ve promised Nathalie, but I think this is the perfect time to use one of my old abilities. I should also apologize to her. I mean, if it weren’t for me, she would’ve still been in the ballet class, which she hated most, and could never take part in Taekwondo. And second, it’s because of me she managed to get away from her kidnapper. 
And third, I taught her how to fight, and that is why she’s a Black Belter now. Basically, I became her personal trainer and coach, and such. So, she’s got a lot of things she owes me. And so do I. 
So, if she wanted me to do something for her, I wouldn’t hesitate to do it, ‘cuz she’ll pay me back the next day. And she does all the talking with Riley, and I just tell her what to tell her. Because, I don’t really know. I lost my ability to speak when I met her.
“You ready, Bucky?” She asks me in an even monotone as if she's not having the feeling of intense fright. When I hear my name from her, my heart skips a beat. I don’t know if it’s normal, but I’ve never felt this way before.
I nod, feeling a drop of my sweat oozing down from my forehead. This is either because Riley makes me uneasy, or the fact that I have to get through all those zombies outside with her. I shouldn’t forget Riley’s with me. She should stay alive, no matter what happens. I don’t care about myself, since I’ve made mistakes in the past, and maybe… Just maybe, I deserve anything that’s going to happen to me once the door is opened. As long as Riley’s okay, I’ll be okay, too.
“Be careful, Buck.” Nathalie says in a calm voice, almost crying. This is making me feel bad. I want to stay with her instead, but I can’t let Riley go out by herself. I’m conflicted. 
Riley looks at me. Her sweat is on her forehead, too. She doesn’t know what exactly happens when we open the door, and she probably is unsure about this. I see her adrenaline rushing through her veins, and she thinks she’s ready as she reassures me. She doesn’t trust me at all. She takes a long time to say ‘3’, only stopping at ‘2’.  This is not good. I must initiate instead.
“Hey. I’ll go first.” I say.
It’s a surprise that she agrees with me. Maybe she just needed me to say that. Glad I read her mind. I move forward in front of her.
“Okay. On three.” I say, as I ready my shield and the garden machete I found along the brooms. “One, two, three!”