She lowered the hand holding the cellphone and took a few deep breaths.
She calmed herself, closed his eyes, and breathed a few times.
Classical music dominated her ear which gave her comfort. She slowly raised both hands and swayed, twisted, and danced herself. It was as if she were in a bar, the only difference being that she was playing classical music.
How did she end up in this situation?
It never crossed her mind to do evil, especially to kill. And now here she is, the one who blew up the car carrying her boyfriend's family. Not a single member, only Leandro.
She laughed out loud, along with a tear dripping down her cheeks.
You can never blame her, they're the ones who pushed her to be like this. She thought it was all fine, even though she knows that she'll never be their priority. There will always be somebody else that is more significant than her.
'No one knows what I've been going through all these years.'
She stopped dancing and looked up at the sky full of twinkling stars
'Oh, God. Don't hate me, I just don't want to fake it anymore. I am sorry if I committed a sin. I gave my all to you but why... Why am I still suffering like this? Why do I feel so inadequate? What did I do to make you not treat me fairly? I thought you were everything; you helped us to survive; you helped us in everything. But—I'm sorry... I shouldn't doubt your grace, I'm sorry... I couldn't hold on to you anymore. I am losing my faith. Now, I am given a chance to face my fears and be true to myself. I'm already satisfied. Forgive me for I'm no longer faithful. Forgive me, Lord, for I have sinned."
She made a decision to make them look at her.
She killed his boyfriend's family and now...
She will end her life too.
What she fears most is that everyone will know who and how she really feels.
And she was also afraid to die.
"What is your greatest fear? Are you scared of people discovering the real you? Are you scared to die? Do you want to overcome all of these? Well, I have an offer."
Rebecca could vividly remember how that woman said those words.
"Dear, God might be real but does your God help you when you ask him to save you? Is your God fair to you? No, he's superficial. He is indeed true, but we, as humans, can only determine our own fate. If you won't do any movement, you won't grow. Since the day you became invisible to them, you have worn a mask that you will never take off. Your family, your boyfriend's family, they are no good but an obstacle to your happiness. And I know, you feel the same way as I do. Take my hand, and let's escape this darkness."
That strange and mysterious woman. She's not even sure who exactly that person is but that person is her savior. Indeed, she really wanted to escape from the darkness of her life. And now, she can say that...
"I AM FREE."
She entered the bedroom and locked the porch door. She walked to her bathroom and lit up the many candles the woman had given her. She dropped the wine glass and cellphone. The glass broke so the wine spread on the floor.
She's tired of pleasing anyone.
She's tired of waiting for them to notice her.
They're too busy with their own lives to notice her pain, her needs.
She felt as if she was just a burden to them.
She inhaled the very fragrant scent of various kinds of flowers that surrounded the bathroom. Rose petals were scattered on the floor, as well as in the bathtub with only water.
Very romantic, after all.
She removed the robe she was wearing and let it fall to the floor.
Naked, she approached the bathtub and immersed herself in it.
A knife is ready on the side with an engraved snake on the handle. She tied her long hair so that the letter A appeared on her nape before she lay down in the bathtub.
She didn't move but it seemed as if the music that enveloped the whole room got louder.
She closed her eyes and felt the warm water that looked like her blanket, accompanied by the scent of flowers that could be smelled throughout the bathroom.
She reached to the side of the knife after waking up to look at the knife she was holding.
She smiled broadly. "My family... my lover... you'll look at me now for the rest of your lives." Before she slashed her wrist several times, she said to herself, "You'll never forget me, you'll always remember how I died and committed a sin."
Blood flooded into the tub and even flowed to the bathroom floor.
Gradually, the lids of her eyes closed along with the ringing. She released the knife which created even more noise when it fell on the tiles.
A smile flashed on her red lips, the smile of a woman without remorse.
A smile that proves she is free and happy, not living in a world where people live...
It may not be in the other world, but you may see someone who is strong and always smiling.
However, that does not mean that she has no hidden disease. It’s just a way for people to cover up how they really feel. A mask.
They are consumed by fear, feel envious, and need attention. Attention not because they want everyone to look at them. Instead, they need someone who will listen and take care of them, people who will hold their hand, and accompany them every step towards a more positive lifestyle.
This feeling will prove how far you can go and how resilient you are when facing the challenges, we all face.
P R E S E N T T I M E.
Leandro, Mike, and Ameira.
Three different people, with their own abilities and personal interests. They have different ways to achieve their goals, which is justice.
Rolanzo Sebastian doesn't work for anyone nor support higher ranks, a righteous man. The only thing he wanted was justice for her daughter's unclear death.
Justice.
Sometimes, people choose power over justice. Sad but true, they say.