"I'll just go up for a while. I'll be right back."
I wiped my hand and ran inside my room. I immediately opened my drawer to find my medicine. I hadn't even finished eating and I was still short of breath.
Is this the result of spending my whole day roaming around the Mall? Damn this medicine! Argh! Where is it?!
Some of my things were falling in the floor because of rushing to find my freaking medicine. I need to take it now because if it lasts longer, I might feel worse. I immediately took the rest of my medicine and caught my breath.
Gosh! Almost!
"Shara, are you okay?" Suddenly the door opened and Mom and Dad spat next to them all.
They frowned when they saw my other belongings scattered on the floor. I gave them a small smile and stoopd up from my bed to get them, putting it back on my table.
"W-Why are you here? I'm going out too." I pretended that I'm really okay and nothing happened.
"Why are your belongings scattered on the floor? We heard a noise here in your room so we immediately went upstairs to look at you," Papa explained with a look of concern on his face.
I smiled hard at them."Sorry for the inconvenience. I just came across it a while ago while I was looking for my... v-vitamins."
I hope that my actions weren't suspicious in their eyes. Actually, I'm not drinking vitamins because I only drink my medicine. They are all here and I don't want them to know anything.
"Vitamins? What vitamins are you taking?" Mama asked.
I immediately approached them and went out."I told you, I'm okay. I only took Enervon, I just bought it at the grocery store. It's a highly recommended vitamin case so I plan to try it."
Good thing they didn't ask some questions and just let it pass. I was really nervous because they were there and my parents could easily sense if something was wrong with me.
"I'm ready for you to court my duaghter," Papa said so I spilled the juice I was drinking.
"Oh God! How gross was that, Shara?! Aren't you ashamed of those with us here?" Mom's sermon to me while helping me wipe myself.
"It's like you don't want to agree, bess. You've been together earlier--Ouch!" Mau didn't finish what he was saying when I secretly pinched him on the side since we were next to each other.
I gave him a fake smile."Who says I don't agree?"
When I realized what I had said, I realized that they were all looking at me. Their eyes were like teasing me and so with the smirk on their lips. Next time, I promise I will monitor all my actions. I don't want to be embarrassed all the time. Fuck it!
"Staring is rude!" I rolled my eyes to cut their stares on me.
It's so weird, especially with... my suitor!
"So it's settled then, Caseth will be going to court my unica hija starting tomorrow."
My mouth was formed in to an 'o' after hearing it from my father."Is that how the adobo affects you, Pa? I couldn't believe it."
He threw a swab at me so I didn't move and hit my face. I don't know if they were laughing at me or my father's actions. Dad and I have the same bond.
They talked until I said they had to go home at any time. At first they disagreed because they enjoyed talking with my parents especially Hades. Mama always praises him so his head is growing. They were using two cars to separate the boys and girls. Only Maureen and Caseth brought the car because Ziro and Hades had just taken a taxi to the Mall earlier.
"Bye, Mau! Bye, Ate Casyn!" I waved at them and so did they before entering the car.
"Thanks for the food, Shara. I'm really full after your Mom, I like her compliments to me. How about, tomorrow again?"
I don't know if Hades was still drunk on the five cans of soda he drank earlier. Maybe when I told him the ugly one would cry. He's so sleepy based on his expression.
"Shut up and get on the car, Hades. There's no tomorrow," Caseth said seriously as he guided him to get inside the car.
"Thank you, Shara." Ziro nodded at me before getting into the car.
"Bye, be careful!" I waved at them inside the car but Caseth came even closer to where I was.
What will he do? He's so talkative earlier while talking to my parents. They even felt comfortable on him.
"Let's see each other tomorrow. Are you free?" he asked.
I thought about my schedules for tomorrow and I had nothing to do."Hmm, okay. Where are we?"
"It's a secret. Goodnight." He grabbed my arm and gave me a tight hug.
I couldn't move because of what he did and just tightened the hold of his shirt. When he finally let go of me, he smiled widely and pinched my nose.
"Goodnight. Take care," I answered right after he walked away.
I know he heard that because he turned and nodded before getting into his car. When I turned around I saw Mama standing at the door so I closed the gate before approaching her.
"Why are you still here, Ma? It's cold outside, you should sleep now." I helped him enter and closed the door.
"Are you really resting well, Shara? What if you just quit your job as a waitress?"
My brows furrowed as I look at her."M-Ma? Why? I've been working there for almost five months so I can't leave it. My salary for our food is also increasing a bit every week. Howsoever, I can still manage to rest. "
"And just a few hours? Is it normal for a student to sleep only four to five hours? Gosh, Shara. Your Papa and I can bring you back to life," she answered frustratingly.
I just got a bruise on my forehead."Mom, it's not like that. I have weekdays to rest. I'm not young anymore, I can work now. Why are you telling me to leave my work?"
"Because your Mama and I have a hunch that your illness will return." Papa came out of the kitchen with a glass of water.
M-My disease? I-Is it possible to come back?
"But it was healed years ago, Pa. How did it come back?" I'm confused.
"You were only ten years old when they treated your asthma. Ever since I gave birth to you you have had trouble breathing. We waited ten years before they treated your disease. We are having a hard time with your situation because you have a lot to do and eat. Your doctor then said that he was not sure if your illness would not return permanently. We're just worried about your safety, Shara. "Mama hugged me suddenly so I couldn't speak right away.
I know some details about my past, when I was still sick. I was studying in a public school when I was still a preschooler. But even so, many of them still don't like me. I'm sorry about my classmates because I don't play with them. When I was still a kid until I turned 10 years old, my parents always feed me with fruits and vegetables. It is forbidden to eat pork, meat, or even chicken because it will be with me.
And now I'm happy because I've overcome my disease, even my parents felt surreal. But everything can't last longer.
"Did you go up to your room earlier to take medicine because you can't breathe anymore? You don't take vitamins, son. Are you afraid that they will find out about your illness?" Papa is serious so I can’t lie.
I sat on the sofa and hugged the pillow beside me."Maureen knows because she's my best friend. No one knows except the three of you because I also don't want to tell others. I think it's just normal to make me feel like this because I experienced shortness of breath before. I don't think I'll lose it."
"How come it's normal for you to take three or more medications a day? You'll have to visit the doctor tomorrow morning after you go to church. Is that clear, Shara?"
I let out a deep sigh and nodded."Yes, Ma. I'll sleep now. I'm tired."
To be honest, I don't want to consult with a doctor. I have been afraid of the doctor since I was a child. Most especially that injection, I cry easily when I see that.
Another, too expensive when you go to the doctor. I stamped two thousand pesos. Two days of my salary I will get from my savings when I go tomorrow. Maybe I can lie to them that I went to the doctor and I told them my pain didn’t really come back.
I tried to call Caseth's number to tell him that we'll just see each other in the afternoon because Mau and I have a walk in the morning. It rang t
hree times before answering.
"Hello? Who's this? I don't fucking entertain someone right now," he said quickly on the other line.
I laughed softly before answering."I'm sorry, I thought you're free to entertain me tonight. I'll hang up now."
"Shit! Hey, don't do that. I'm sorry, you're number wasn't registered on my phone. Who gave you my number?" He sounds so sleepy earlier but it changed into a lively one when he heard that it's me.
"Ate Casyn registered your number on my phone while we were having our bonding earlier. Are you sleepy already? You can sle---"
"No, I'm not. What do you want? I thought you were asleep. Why are you still awake at this hour?" he asked.
I stared at the ceiling in my room and closed my eyes."I just want to tell you something. Are you sleepy?"
"No! What's the matter? Just say it fast," he said hurriedly and I laughed.
"Mau and I are going somewhere tomorrow morning. Can we just meet each other in the
afternoon? I'll just call you again tomorrow."
"Sure. I also have time to make blueberry cheesecake." He seemed excited based on her voice.
I immediately sat down on my bed because of what he said."Really? Yay! Can I make a request? It's big enough for me to be full."
"Anything for you, my love."
I woke up because of Mama's loud shout coming from outside my room. I immediately stood up from my bed and looked at the clock on my wall. It's still 6:30 in the mor--- Shit! 6:30 already?!
Oh no! I'm about to be late!
"Mom! Why didn't you wake me up?!" I asked her when I got down after taking a bath.
She slapped me lightly on the shoulder."You need to sleep properly, Shara. You slept around eleven last night. Sit down to eat, I'm done cooking."
"Hey! Fried rice! It's my favorite."
"Everything I cook is your favorite." She put food on my plate so I started eating.
I was wearing a jumpsuit with a pair of doll shoes. It's a pajama-like-jumpsuit and the upper part is a t-shirt. I tied my hair in a ponytail before I go downstairs. I also carry my sling bag that I put my other belongings in.
"Oh, there you are. Maureen is here to accompany you to church. Go to your doctor so I can make sure you really come. I want to see your consultation permit when you get home."
I looked around at Mama and then at Mau who was already dressed. Now I don’t know how else I can escape it. Knowing Mau, she wouldn't disobey my mother's words. Mama must have told him about what we talked about last night.
"All right, Tita. Shara and I are leaving. I'll make sure I'm going to accompany her to the doctor." Mau bid goodbye first before we entered inside her car.
"Mau, don't do this. You know how scared I am of doctors and injections!" I exclaimed.
She sighed."I know, bess. But I'm not going to inject you with a needle. We're just going to check up."
Throughout the mass, I had no other request but that I not be injected and there was no bad news. I even prayed that I won't take too long inside the hospital because I couldn't make it
I'm allergic to the hospital!
"Let's go in if you want us to finish right away."
I held her very tightly as we entered the hospital.
We need to sign in first before we could enter so I put my name as the patient while Mau is my guardian.
"Good morning, Ms. Lindzbergh. Am I right?" asked a doctor in his mid 30's.
I turned to Mau and then looked back at the doctor."Y-Yes, please. I'd like to check up on you."
"About what, hija?" He looked up at me.
"I'm starting to feel strange recently. I just move a little and I quickly run out of breath and then sometimes my inhaler can't ease my heart," I nervously explained.
"Wait. Are you afraid of me? Have you just consulted a doctor?" Maybe she noticed that I felt so uneasy in front of her.
"Yes, doc. Actually, she's afraid of doctors and injections. She was really forced to come here because her mother told her to." Mau himself answered.
She nodded and wrote something on the paper. "So, who are you? Brother, cousin, niece?"
"I'm her closest friend. And we treat each other like sisters," Mau replied.
"All right, I just have a little question. Are you always stressed and doing such things? How many hours do you sleep a day?" He looked at me and waited for my answer.
"I'm a student in the morning and after class I'm a working student in a restaurant not far from our school. Sometimes, if I had a lot of school works, around eleven o'clock I actually fall asleep."
"I heard a lot of situations like yours but they don't feel breathless like what you always feel. Were you sick when you were young? You have some signs and symptoms of asthma."
I nodded in response."Yes. I've been in pain since I was born and I was only completely caught when I was 10 years old. I had an asthma. And my parents were suspicious about my actions. They thought that maybe... my disease returned."
"Oh, I see. I'll give you a medicine and be sure to take this every after meal. If you're taking any medicine right now, stop it first. And try to sleep 7 to 8 hours a day. It might really get worse. you feel it, "she advised.
"But... I still have many works to do. Just tell me what's happening?"
She let out a sigh that made my heart stop."I'm not saying that your pain has returned but, I'm warning you right now. Give yourself a time to rest or else... your greatest fear will be back."
No! This is not possible.