"It's noisy inside." I said and he chuckled. What's funny?
"Do you want to go home?" he asked.
"Yea."
"Let me drive you home then." He offered so I raised an eyebrow at him.
"I don't trust you. You don't even know my address." I said and he chuckled again. He just shrugged his shoulders.
"Ania." someone called my name.
"Hey." It's AJ.
"I've been looking for you for a while, you're just here ... let's go home?" he said so I just nodded.
" Who's that?" he asked.
"Oh it's .." the one next to me is gone. "Acquaintance." I just said. He said nothing.
It was Chival a while ago.
---
"Do you have plans tomorrow?" he suddenly asked. We're on our way home now.
"What plans?"
"Anything, are you going to do anything tomorrow?"
"Nothing. Why do you ask?"
"Let's go out."
"Okay." I answered.
We were so far away that the car suddenly stopped. I asked him why, he also said he didn't know so he got out. I also got out of the car. And if you look at it, the wheels are flat. There aren't people and houses here so we can't ask for help. The only light in the street lights that are a bit far from us is the only light we had. It's hard around here. There are no houses here and there are no street lights either.I got my phone and unfortunately it's low battery. AJ is changing the tire. I leaned against the door as I waited for him. There are also vehicles passing by but just passing us.I was impatient to wait so I went to him. That's right and it's okay. He suddenly pinched my cheek so I slapped him on the arm. Of course, his hands were dirty. Maybe I'll have grease on my face later.I went inside and looked at my face in the mirror. There's dirt that bastard.. I just removed it with a tissue. When he came in he laughed at me so I looked at him.
We have already continued the trip. I was still asleep. When we got home I immediately went downstairs and went straight to the bedroom. I jumped on my bed even though I was still in my gown. I want to rest. I feel sleepy when I remember something. Where's my phone? I didn't bring anything when I entered.I woke up and looked but there was nothing here. Did I lose it? Where? Maybe in the car? I got dressed first before going out again. I went to AJ and asked him for the car key. I said that I might have left my phone inside, because it's missing. He gave it to me right away so I opened it. And because I sat in the back seat yesterday I found it there thankfully.. I saw my phone there. I was about to close the car door when I saw something.
I picked it up and examined it carefully. Why? Why is there a woman's dress here?
It's not mine either.
....
Days passed and nothing serious happened. AJ doesn't open up about what he admitted before and I'm happy because of that. I really want us to be just friends. Not until one day..I don't expect him to open up about that again. I thought we were okay but why do we have to return that?Yesterday, he said to me, "Why don't we give it a try?" I can't answer. Why don't we give it a try? I don't like that really, I don't feel anything.
"What if it doesn't work?" I asked him back.
"There's so many what ifs and we won't know if we don't try." he answered. Am I the only one? He looks desperate, he really likes me. And I feel bad because I can't give back what he can give to me.I really just want us to be friends. It's awkward to think that's how he feels about me. And I'm afraid it might affect our friendship. And if that happens I don't know if I can take the risk.
Today is April 4, our graduation day. This day is what I've been waiting for. Finally! We're graduates! And I'm so happy that dad and aunt Lesley came, also brother Lance. They're here for me. I hope they're proud of me. I finally achieved my first goal in life despite struggles in the few years that I spent in school. This day will be the end of my journey being a student.I can't stop smiling when I heard my name being called on the stage. I'm so proud of myself. Who wouldn't be?
After a few months ..
I don't understand. I love AJ but only up to best friends. He didn't stop showing his affection to me and I was even more worried. Why can't I give something back to him, I don't feel anything. Is this really meant to happen? Because I can't imagine this is happening right now. He keeps asking for a chance and he looks desperate. I want to blame myself but it's not my fault, is it? He said that he had wanted to confess to me for a long time but he was afraid that our friendship would be affected and only now was he getting courage. And this is it. Our friendship was affected. Because of what he feels ... It's no one's fault though or we both have something wrong.
He messaged me ..
'Ania, I'm sorry. I couldn't say goodbye to you because maybe when I see you I won't be able to continue with that ... You know where I am now. I also want to say sorry for what I've done, I hope I just hid my feelings so we wouldn't be like this. I know, you only want us to be just friends but that's not how I feel. I really like you Ania, but the feeling is not mutual. I love you my best friend. I want to call you but I'm sure I'm just gonna miss your voice so I better not. You're 21 now, happy birthday! Before I met you everything wasn't good,it is, I just know. But slowly our friendship began, through thick and thin you'll be my best friend forever. Always remember I always love you Ania, even if we fight I hope you never forget that even if we're miles apart 'til death do us part. Thank you for everything, my best friend. "
That was his last message to me.
I didn't reply even just a single word because I can't. I break down. I cry. I know this will happen, that he will leave me too. I understand because it's for his dream, it's for his ambition. I just can't believe that I won't be with him always. He did not bid his goodbye to me in person. We're not over yet. We're still friends. We just have a misunderstanding but we're okay right? But the fact that my best friend left me, I don't know what to do. Tito Ali wants him to finish his degree in Royal Military Academy Sandhurst. I don't know how long it will take but I'm just gonna support him for what he wants. I'm proud of him, I'm happy for him. He's on his journey reaching his ambition. I don't want to waste my time for nothing, my life must go on.
I've suddenly realized. I don't want to stick with my dream job only but I want to try something new. I want to have experience in other jobs. Just a simple one. I decided to work as a call center agent, it's cool. I enjoyed it even though it's very troublesome especially when there is a customer who is hot -headed and always shouting. It's stressful but enjoyable at the same time.
I'm also making new friends. For better, for good. When something is missing, there are so many things you'll suddenly realize and you will change because of it. Now, I have so many realizations, it's exhausting but excellent.I have a bunch of friends at work but I didn't totally trust them all. I have trust issues. They're happy to be with me. Who joins me mostly is Kiana. We're enjoying each other's company and we are a great example of crazy people. We're on the same path. We always go out and she's always going with the flow, she somehow resembles AJ and I hated myself for befriending her just because I saw her resemblance to another person, to AJ. I really can't get him out of my head sometimes. Ugh, disgusting.Today, Kiana and I, decided to make our first application for our dream job. We're the same. We're so grateful because we achieved it..
Month of April, I have to say goodbye to my call center life because we'll start the training. I must say, it was not as easy as you think. Our training duration lasts for 46 days unlike other airlines which lasts another 3 months. But likewise, it's not really easy. Training includes aircraft familiarization, you need to know first aid, survival swimming and emergency procedures. You also need to attend make-up class and know the proper walking etiquette, it's required for girls.I didn't have any difficulty with swimming lessons because I asked my brother to teach me back then, being an advanced thinker is really useful. If only AJ was here he would be proud that I can swim ... AJ again.
We got our first flight from Manila to Britain. We still took over so we went around first because the flight back was canceled but it was worth it. It was good. It feels so great to finally work on my dream job. I also got a check ride for more amazing adventures for being part of aviation. Finally today is our graduation! We are here at the venue itself, at the back. All of us here we're very proud of ourselves. Imagine, I'm finally wearing my dream uniform, our respective future uniforms. Here with my co-dreamers, I feel so blessed. This is what I've been waiting for, for all the perseverance and hard work I've done, finally it's success.
"Let's welcome our graduated trainees!" the emcee said. We're smiling all the time. Especially Kiana who was crying next to me, what a waste of her makeup.This is it. We walked onto the stage. Chin up and feeling proud which gives the vibe that says we have a groomed look that meets conventional standards. I feel so grateful.
We were given a certificate one by one and all of them congratulated us. Even if dad, brother or AJ aren't here, I know they're proud of me because I'm gradually reaching my dream. I'm getting older. Uhm, no, I don't age, I just level up.The graduation speaker/ former flight attendant Mrs. Acacia Labrint give us encouraging words and tell a story about her journey of her life being a flight attendant. It's great. Only now can I imagine myself being one of them. I'm so excited.
"The life of a flight attendant is a fairy tale. It started having 22 (us) aspiring trainees, dreaming of how it would feel like to wear that much convenient uniform ... Like Cinderella said" live life without midnights "... and you .. as a Philippine Airline cabin crew, there are no limits for you to take but only more opportunities, more magical experiences, more chance to enchant not just the Filipinos but the world .. of what the Philippine Airlines and cabin crews is fond of. Go on! Fly high, beautiful and handsome stewardess!."We gave a round of applause.
Kiana is really emotional right now. I even hugged him because he was already crying. He is the only one who achieved his dream and whoever is in his position, you will be really proud, who would be? I'm proud of her because she did it alone. I envy her.
"Congratulations batch 21 !!" the emcee said.
We congratulate everyone. All of us, you can see fulfillment in our eyes. Even if it has been achieved, it is a huge achievement. I'm so greatful. I hope AJ is here. He is surely proud of me.
When we came out, Kiana's eyes were full so I just laughed, she's still beautiful. "This has really been my dream since I was young. It's because my mom's job used to be so I continued. I know she's proud of me wherever she is now..I hope I've been with her for a long time, she's deceitful. ".Sorry, I'm really emotional. How annoying! " he says. She is crying again now. I'm happy for her, it's tears of Joy.
Our group decided to celebrate our achievement so they came up with 'chillnuman'. I can't get too drunk because I might not be able to go home, I don't trust myself. I have low alcohol tolerance.
"Cheers !!!" We simultaneously shout and collide bottles of wine. That's all I can really do and I want. Having a long conversation with them was full of laughter and enjoyment. It's really fun when you get along with a lot of people and make friends. You are able to laugh without fear as if the problem will never come tomorrow. It was midnight when we decided to go home. I still have a hard time with Kiana, is she drunk? I can't stand his awkwardness, his babbling and then laughing with laughter, people keep looking at us on the road. When he bumped into someone, I apologized because he still wanted to provoke a fight. I'm just shaking with him too.I even drove to Cubao because he was from there, I took him to the apartment. I've decided that I can only sleep here, besides that's what I used to do when I'm too lazy to go home or tired.
I let out a heavy sigh as I laid him on his bed. It's stressful to take care of a drunk. I took off my clothes and borrowed her clothes from her wardrobe. That's okay because I also have clothes left here and it's always like that. I went straight to the bathroom and took a shower. I felt relieved because of cold water dropping on my bare skin. I'm sleepy, that's why I choose to finish shower quickly so that I can dry my hair before I doze off to sleep.
Days passed very quickly. It's been a few months and I really enjoyed this job. I have also met and interacted with many other people and I must say, I improved. I'm really suited for this job and I'm loving it.
I only get home once because I better choose to stay with Kiana in her apartment than go home without someone I can come to. That house felt so empty. One of the reasons is also why I don't want to go home, when I just see AJ's house, I can think of going to him only to realize that it's not here. I don't know. Maybe I miss him. We haven't communicated for the past year and if he ever comes home to the Philippines, I hope nothing changes. I hope I'm still his best friend because he's still for me, I hope we're still friends. I'm wondering .. does he have a girlfriend now? Well it's good for him, I will be the supportive best friend then.
Just 2 am, my alarm woke me up. I immediately took a shower and prepared. Kiana was still asleep so I woke up. She was still complaining because it would have been nice to have a dream but I disturbed her. If we're not having a job then I'll let him but she needs to take care of it because she might lose her job. We're here at the airport. Walking through the entrance makes people turn their heads from our direction because of the sounds that our heels make while having steps. We're like runway models, haha.
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome onboard Flight PR 538 with service from Manila to Indonesia. We are currently third in line for take-off and are expected to be in the air in approximately seven minutes time. We ask that you please fasten your seatbelts at this time and secure all baggage underneath your seat or in the overhead compartments.We also ask that your seats and table trays are in the upright position for take-off.Please turn off all personal electronic devices, including laptops and cell phones.Smoking is prohibited for the duration of the flight. Thank you for choosing Philippine Airlines. Enjoy your flight. " and that was the pre-flight announcement followed by the take-off announcement and the actual take-off and the captain's announcement.
"Good afternoon passengers. This is your captain Zaito Labrint speaking. First I'd like to welcome everyone to Ninoy Aquino International Airport. On behalf of all crews I would like to thank you for choosing our airline ... We are currently cruising at an altitude of 33,000 feet at an airspeed of 400 miles per hour. The time is 1:25 pm. The weather looks good and with the tailwind on our side we are expecting to land in Indonesia approximately fifteen minutes ahead of schedule. If the weather cooperates we should get a great view of the city as we descend. The cabin crew will be coming around in about twenty minutes to offer you a light snack and beverage, and the inflight movie will begin shortly after that. I'll talk to you again before we reach our destination.Until then, sit back, relax and enjoy the rest of the flight. "I wonder if he's relative of Mrs. Acacia Labrint? Or maybe husband.
After that, someone announced a safety briefing. I started later to go around to deliver light snacks and drinks. Someone called for my assistance, I told Lian that she went but I'm really the one who's needed. I still have work to do but she said I really want to go there. I just followed to prevent inconvenience.
"Do you need anything sir?" I asked the man that Lian pointed out to me earlier, he looks like a foreigner.
"Can I get your number?" oh, this is bullshit, not again please ..
"I'm sorry, no sir ... If you don't need anything can I go now?" I said.
"Why?" question.
"Why?" I repeat.
"Why can't you give your number to me?" dude common sense.This is harassing.
Because I want privacy and why would I give it to you? I want to say that but it's disrespectful and improper so I choose not to. "Because I have a boyfriend." I just said it even though it wasn't true. My excuse seems to be effective. That is not new to me. And sometimes there are others who are really very weird. The type who will just thank you when the purser calls you because the others don't really fire you. But I can still manage to handle aggressive passengers and really need a lot of patience. That's annoying but you have to control your temper. It's good and I can still control myself. I don't like everyone who pushes me and argues.
After almost 4 hours on flight we finally arrived at the destination. We are now parked at the gate of Yogyakarta airport and the passengers are boarding. Another announcement for passengers..I have chosen to speak right now.
"Ladies and gentlemen, the Captain has turned on the Fasten Seat Belt sign. If you haven't already done so, please stow your carry-on luggage underneath the seat in front of you or in an overhead bin. Please take your seat and fasten your seat belt.And also make sure your seat back and folding trays are in their full upright position..If ​​you are seated next to an emergency exit, please read carefully the special instructions card located by your seat.If you do not wish to perform the functions described in the event of an emergency, please ask a flight attendant to reseat you .... We remind you that this is a non-smoking flight. Smoking is prohibited on the entire aircraft, including the lavatories. Tampering with , disabling or destroying the lavatory smoke detectors is prohibited by law..If you have any questions about our flight today, please don't hesitate to ask one of our flight attendants. Thank you. "
Turbulence and so many announcements.
"Flight attendants/Cabin Crew, please prepare for gate departure."
"Flight attendants/Cabin Crew, doors on automatic, cross-check and report. Thank you. "I'm floating again now. I can hear the captain saying but I don't act if Kiana doesn't call me. Namemental block me sometimes. Especially when I'm really tired.
We lay over at the hotel. We have three flights now so it will take over 24 hrs. We went straight to a hotel. Kiana and I share a room. I ate as soon as I arrived at the hotel and slept for a few hours. I just woke up when Kiana disturbed my sleep. Are you shouting? We've been here for about 3 days so he's still having fun. We seem to be able to roam. Yes but I'm not in the mood.
"Don't you have any plans to have a boyfriend?" he suddenly asked me. I did not answer.
"You're 20+ and you still don't have a boyfriend," he repeated.
"What's the matter with that? Is it required when at the age of 20+ you need a boyfriend?" my answer.
"Not really. I'm just thinking, you're not telling me anything. Maybe later you're already engaged and you're not telling me, don't hide it from me." she added.
"Eh?, I don't have a boyfriend." my answer. Suddenly AJ pops up in my mind. If we were AJ then, are we still together today? .. Oh dang, why am I even thinking about it?
"Don't think of him, he might love you." he exclaimed so I stood up with a sigh.
Why is it that AJ suddenly enters my mind? Haist.